How Am I Pretty?

'How am I pretty?' Touka said to herself on the roof of a building. 'No one has ever called me that, how am I pretty?' Touka thought to herself while she looked at the moon over head. Touka looked to her left and saw her reflection in a glass window seeing her black and red eyes staring back at her. 'I'm a monster' Touka told herself noticing a tear making its way down her cheek. Seeing it enraged Touka, causing her to clench her fist and look away 'I don't have time for this' Touka Mumbled to herself before leaping off the roof to the ground making her way back to her home at Anteiku.

Touka arrived at Anteiku as quickly as she could while also trying to avoid being seen by people. 'Its late, Hinami is probably asleep if I come through the front door I might wake her and cause her to worry seeing me like this. Luckily I left the sliding door of the balcony cracked, I should be able to get in quietly that way'. Touka thought to herself while heading towards the alley behind Anteiku. Once behind Anteiku, Touka jumped onto a balcony opposite her destination as quietly as she could, climbing up one more level to the balcony above. Once she was on the balcony directly across her own balcony, Touka looked inside her home as best she could trying to see if Hinami was still awake or asleep. 'Thank goodness' Touka whispered to herself, seeing Hinami laying on the couch in the dark room with a blanket over her gave a good indication that Hinami was asleep. Touka stepped onto the balcony and carefully calculated her jump onto her own balcony, focusing completely so she wouldn't cause any loud noises that might wake Hinami or worse miss and fall to the ground.

Touka tensed her body, she prepared for the jump to her balcony hoping that it would be silent and unnoticed. 'One...two...three' Touka counted in her head as she silently leaped onto the railing of her own balcony, barely making a noise and able to retain her balance after landing almost perfectly. Silently stepping off the railing of her balcony, Touka immediately looked inside her home hoping that Hinami remained exactly as she was moments ago, as Touka inched closer to the sliding door to her home the last obstacle in her way of completing her objective, she could hear faint noises and was able to see faint lights changing colors on the walls of her living room. 'Hinami must have fallen asleep while watching TV'. Touka thought to herself. 'This is even better, the TV will mask the noise of me sliding the door open'. Touka thought to herself while slowly and carefully sliding the glass door open just enough to squeeze through, hoping it wont squeak like it has in the past. Once open enough for her to squeeze through. Touka was fortunate that the sliding glass door barely made any noise, Touka quickly slid inside and slowly slid the door closed without waking Hinami, Touka sighed and was relieved everything went so well.

Once inside, Touka heard another faint sound aside from the TV, Touka inched closer to Hinami as she slept soundly hearing a very faint snore. 'Hmmm I didn't know she snored, it's quite amusing'. Touka thought to herself. Touka had grown an even stronger bond with Hinami after she moved into her home. Touka wasn't sure if it was because of the painful loss Hinami experienced similar to herself, whether it was because Touka saw her as a young sibling dulling the memories of her younger brother leaving her alone, or perhaps Touka just liked having company. Touka reached pressing the power button the remote, cutting the TV off and slowly and quietly snuck into her own room closing the door gently.

Touka leaned with her back against the door of her room giving another sigh before changing into her pajamas and hiding the clothes she just removed out of sight so Hinami wouldn't notice them. After that was taken care of Touka made her way to the bathroom connected to her room. Once inside the bathroom Touka stared at her reflection and stared into her violet eyes, remembering what she heard earlier "How pretty". Touka looked down away from her eyes and walked towards her bed and slid into the covers, resting her head on her pillow staring at the ceiling while the words continued to echo through her mind. Touka closed her eyes and tried to flush the words from her mind just long enough to drift into sleep, succeeding minutes after closing her eyes.

Touka awoke later than normal but remained in her bed with the words forcing their way back into her mind. 'My mind just wont leave me alone, I'm thinking way to much about this' Touka mumbled while remaining in bed frustrated that the words wont cease, Touka Let out an annoyed groan. Suddenly there was a knock on Touka's bedroom door followed by Hinami asking 'Touka are you feeling well? you havent left your room and you would have usually been up and out of bed 2 hours ago'. 'No I'm not feeling well, can you let the manager know I wont be able to work today?' Touka asked. 'Sure I'll let him know, I am also going to be with big brother to learn some more words so I'll be gone for awhile, would you like me to bring you anything up to help you feel better big sister?' Hinami asked. 'Thank you Hinami, and no thank you I don't need anything, have fun with Kaneki' Touka responded. 'Ok well I hope you feel better soon' Hinami said as she left her home.

The words returned to her mind "How pretty". 'How could she say that? I am a monster, how could she not see that? I was going to kill her in an instant without regret, without considering the consequences, without realizing that it could be a mistake by killing her even though she loves a ghoul. I'm a monster because I will do what is necessary to protect those I care about, it's one life against several why did I hesitate? why couldn't I kill her...I killed several in the past for less of a reason than to protect those I care about. I have lost so much and I refuse to lose anything else. I'm the one who can make the tough choices so no one else has to, I have already lost my innocence but someone like Hinami and even Kaneki still have it, they can even see good in humans. I'm a monster so they don't have to be, so they can keep their innocence'. Touka thought to herself. 'No I am a monster to protect myself and those I care about'. Touka said to herself as she stared at her ceiling remaining silent. 'I'm am a monster, because I have to be'.

Thanks for reading - Skwiz

A/N - Hello anyone who read this far, I wanted to try something kinda different but I'm sorry if the ending is not the best, I wasnt sure how to end it, I have mixed feelings about this story but wanted to do something for Tokyo Ghoul, I hope atleast someone likes the story then it was worth the time i spent on it. Regardless, I thank everyone for reading it. As always I'm sorry for errors and one again Thanks for reading. - Skwiz