Title: Unrequited (1?)
Rating: at the moment PG, or whatever ffn's equivalent is
Content: sap, angst
Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters mentioned herein, and no disrespect meant
Summary: Lita is falling. Will someone catch her?
Author's note: This is a tentative beginning. It will become something more, eventually. All forms of reviews welcome!

The more she showed off her flesh, the less she respected herself and her decisions. He could see that in her eyes every time he watched her on TV. The powers that be had decided that it was appropriate for her to dress as was befitting the fans' view of her, so she did. The powers that be had decided that it would be a good storyline if she teamed up with the man she'd had a dalliance with, so she did.

The Lita he'd known for the last few years wouldn't have agreed so easily. The Lita he'd known for the last few years would have kicked up a fuss. She wasn't the same Lita any more.

It was hard, watching her from a distance. Even though they worked for the same company, the divide between them was hard to bridge. Different states, different time zones; it wasn't easy to maintain any sort of relationship.

People were always surprised when they found out about the friendship between them. There didn't seem to be an obvious link, no shared beliefs, hobbies, friends. On the surface, the only thing they had in common was their profession. They'd scraped beneath that surface though, one drunken night, and had found a lot that they shared.

It had begun on a drunken night and was maintained on drunken nights and over drunken phone calls. Alcohol wasn't the only conduit though, it wasn't the only fuel that drove this friendship. Perhaps the best, deepest, most important conversations between them were the ones over a leisurely dinner, or the ones sat on the beach, or the ones on the couch at one of their homes, the ones that took place in safe, non-threatening, private environments. On screen personas could be thrown to one side. They could be themselves.

She wasn't the same now, and it was only him that she would admit that to, even though others could see it. He was worried about her. Whenever she spoke to him, it just sounded like she'd given up. She knew that she wasn't all they said she was, but she just didn't feel able to fight their perceptions. It was easier to go along with what they said, to let them believe whatever they liked. She felt like she didn't matter any more.

He didn't want her to lose who she was. He loved her too much for that.

Yes, he loved her. He had never intended to fall in love, but he had. It was inevitable really. He would never tell her though, as that would ruin the friendship and their friendship was too important to him to jeopardise. Being with her at a distance, just being able to touch her and hold her occasionally, it was enough. It would have to be.

He wanted to be with her, to hold her, to comfort her. When she cried to him over the phone all he wanted to do was fly straight to where she was and hold her until she didn't hurt any more. He couldn't do that though, because even if he was with her, even if he did hold her, he couldn't take away her pain and he couldn't put her back together again. As much as he wanted to, as much as he wished he could, the only person who could put Lita back together was Lita herself.

She called him, as she always did, after Raw had finished, once she was back in the sanctity of her hotel room.

"Hey Randy."

"Lita honey, how's it going?"

"Did you watch Raw?" She always avoided his questions to begin with, but he didn't mind. He knew she'd talk at her own pace.

"Yeah, you looked good babe, you're gorgeous, you know that?"

"I think you're due for an eye test Orton," there was no humour behind her words, although she pretended there was.

"You know I'm perfect in every way, including my eyesight. If I say you look good, I mean it."

"Whatever."

He said nothing. He knew she had something she wanted to say, he could hear it in her voice, in the way her breaths were shaky and unsure. He knew she was close to tears.

"Sometimes, Randy, sometimes I think you're the only good thing in my life."

"Li…" Randy heard her crying. It broke his heart, as all he wanted to do was hold her and tell her everything would be ok. "Li, you're more special, and more important and more talented and more beautiful than you realise."

She sniffed, "I sometimes wonder if it's worth it. I wonder if there's anything worth carrying on for, and then I think of you and I think that maybe there is."

"Please don't talk like that angel, please don't. There's always something, you've got more than just me, you've got so much within you…"

"When you're the only one telling me that it gets harder and harder to believe."

"What can I do Li?"

"Just keep being here. Keep me going 'til I can see you again."

"Always angel, you know that. You know you've just gotta say the word and I'll fly out to be with you, right?"

"I know, and I wouldn't ask that of you. I'll survive, somehow. Only another three weeks."

"I've got three days before the European tour, want me to come to yours?" Randy wasn't sure that he'd go three weeks without seeing her, she sounded so desperate and alone.

"Would you?"

"You know I would. Just say the word and I'm there."

"Please." It was the closest she'd ever sounded to begging. He felt better in the fact that she actually cared for him enough to want him there, even though it would never be in the way he wanted.

"Thank you Randy."

After the conversation ended he did the same as he always did. He left the hotel and walked, for hours sometimes. He played the conversation over and over in his head, wondering if there was anything better he could have said to help Lita, wondering if she was ok, wondering if she thought of him. He loved her more with each call, but equally with each call he felt like she moved more and more out of his reach.