I do not own Haruhi Suzumiya. This is only for entertainment purposes and does not intend any disrespect to the owners or anyone at all.

Standard Deviant: Chapter One

I've come to notice that whenever in my life, since Haruhi Suzumiya came along, seems stable, it either is not in actuality or it would not be for long. So it's times like these that I've come to really appreciate. I can't really remember much that had happened in quite a while, well nothing supernatural to be specific. Nothing since the start of our second year. Of course, there are some "normal" things we do in this psuedo-club of ours. Really. There is.

Ironically, Haruhi does much more normal things than she probably intended. Maybe it's peripheral factors that make our activities supposedly unique, like Haruhi's rationalization of our activities which are certainly unique. And if there's anything Haruhi does that is not normal, it's her (external) reasoning.

So what are what were we doing now? Well, specifically now, nothing much but Haruhi hasn't come yet so maybe not. So I'm just typically playing Koizumi in one of his board games that he never wins again, miss Asahina excused herself to the bathroom or something awhile ago but also decided to play with us for a change, and Nagato's just reading some obscure book well beyond my reading comprehension level while we wait a little for Miss Asahina to return. Honestly speaking, it is times like these that are what you could call rather uninteresting or bored. Too boring for me, actually. I think I can appreciate Haruhi's idiosyncratic behavior thanks to these moments. Not that I'm asking for trouble or anything, just something interesting. Wow, I think I'll start sounding like Haruhi if she doesn't do something soon.

Ugh.

"The answer is A. Bored are we?" asked my Trivia Pursuit opponent.

What was your first clue? Was it my-

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... upset you or anything."

I'm not upset.

"...well anyway. I was just making small talk."

Well not interested... and where's Haruhi?

"Oh? Does someone miss her already? It hasn't been a day since you've seen her, I assure you everything's fine, for now." he teased. My question seemed to transmute his more casual (and fake) smile to a more pleased one. This, along with a giggle from miss Asahina who, along with Nagato, was also playing with us, only made me feel, if not a bit, uncomfortable.

"Yeah, yeah. Whoever's next, go." I looked over to the esper and he seems slightly distracted.

Weird. I thought it Haruhi was fine.

"She is." He looks normal again. And by "normal" I mean plastic. Maybe he's just uncomfortable with all four of us playing

"I wonder how long it's been this way, it's not usually very long"

"It has been 2 days, 3 hours, 47 minutes and 12 seconds," said Nagato.

Thanks for not going into nanoseconds, Nagato. "You are welcome" someone said.

Well it's not a big deal anyway.

...

God. This is so boring.

"Hey" someone said in a sultry, coy voice which provoked my interest. Asahina turned to me as I turned to see her.

"Correct" stated Koizumi. Huh? Wait... what?!

In fake surprise, Koizumi responded, "she merely answered her question 'which of the following among the most successful pick up lines that women say to men in a bar?'"

What the hell? What edition did Koizumi have? Seeing my bemused response to this question seemed to have made his day. In other words, he's all smiley again. In a different way, with a sincere expression of amusement. Asahina seemed to be as well but maybe she was just happy with getting the right answer. Wait, how does she know that answer?

"It was easy when compared to the other answers," she reluctantly explained.

And wow. 'Hey?' really? I am somewhat disappointed in us men but what edition is this again? Then again, there is that Saturday Night Live edition, I can only imagine what kind of questions they have.

"Oh and you know what else? I heard that a common pickup line for teenagers is? 'Have we met before?'

Weird. I remember hearing that somewhere. That couldn't mean-

"And also-"

Oh God stop him now.

Just then a scream could be heard from out the room. "YAHOO!"

"You rang?" asked Koizumi with a smirk. Oh shut up.

And what does the mighty Commander of the SOS Brigade have for us today?

"It's a nice and warm day outside right?"

"Why yes it is, miss Suzumiya."

Yeah. It is quite lovely.

"Thanks Kyon, but I wasn't asking for your opinion."

Gee thanks. I'll think twice before doing that again.

"Anyway. I was thinking that while the sun's still up we should have a balloon fight!"

Balloons? What are are we, kids? Well actually, I'm not all too sure how I feel about throwing water balloons at miss Asahina and Haruhi. What are they gonna wear?

"Water balloons. What else?"

I don't know. Have a paintball gun match while riding hot air balloons?

"Hmmm... that sounds fun! We could ask Tsuruya to help us with that! But we'll do that another time. You should think of more fun things to do, Kyon!"

Seriously?

"Seriously."

So then if we're playing with water balloons, then where are they?

A smile crept up onto her face, which gave me my answer. "You are!" I shouldn't have asked.

"But isn't it a little late to do it now? I mean, it's already almost time to leave?"

She only glared at my excuse.

Thankfully, Nagato closed her book, signalling the end of our meeting.

"Fine! But you're going to have to work very hard tomorrow!" Haruhi yelled as she ran off. And she was just so eager to play too. I wonder what else she has to do.

Oh and thanks, Nagato.

Surprisingly she turned to meet me in the eyes and surprisingly said "You are welcome," and left just like that. And Koizumi followed suit with that familiar smile on his face. And Asahina stuck around to change so I left as well.

I find it strange that we were acting a bit more normal than normal. Which is weird to us but I don't think that it'll be a problem. Ironic, in fact, to have an alien, a time traveler, and an esper behave so normally. Well, actually maybe not Nagato so much but it's quite a refreshing change of pace... when I'm not bored about it. I hope this isn't as good as it gets.

Thought I'd start this again but I'll still need to find time.