It all started on that day, didn't it?
That fateful day when we were driving back from one of our games and promised to be perfect. I will never forget your frightened face as I pushed you out of the car. I might have died in that avalanche but that was alright as long as you were alive. There was nothing else in the world I would have wished for other than that. I was naïve to think that was the end.
Only a few weeks later, I was back again. I watched you on the field as you tried to play for the both of us. You were unfocused, not concentrating and it hurt to see how helpless you were. I couldn't just sit and see your suffering. That's when I noticed you were wearing my scarf. I don't know what exactly made me do it, but I called out to you. You weren't scared or anything, you embraced my presence and let me control your body. You needed me with you and I was happy you did. I finally had a place to be again. Your teammates were confused to say the least, but they accepted it. We lived like that for several years but everything that begins had to end someday.
You were asked to join the Inazuma Caravan and everything went downhill. Before we met Endou and the others, I thought me just being with you was enough but I was wrong. You needed to be yourself and live your own life but as long as I was there, you weren't able to. You needed to let go of your past and that meant letting go of me. But I knew it wouldn't be easy for you. You thought you needed to be perfect and thought you needed me for it. I had to somehow snap you out of it.
No one thought anything about it when we switched positions. Endou just thought you were getting very passionate once you got the ball. I knew if I simply told you to stop depending on me, you would protest and would hold onto me even tighter. So I had to do it with force. I kept on taking control over you, even against your will. I hope you can forgive me for doing that, but it was for your own good. You were depressed, you were scared and doubting yourself but in the end, it all worked out. You finally saw your friends, knew you weren't alone and needn't be perfect. I whispered encouragements into your ear and was happy you were ready to let go.
It didn't change the fact that I was sad when you threw the scarf away, threw me away.
You didn't notice it, but I didn't go away. I kept on following you, kept watching out for you. You don't know how many times you would have been attacked by a bear or how often snow would have fallen onto your head if I weren't there. You still visited our graves when the time came but you weren't as sad anymore. And I was alright with how things were. You kept on growing and I was proud when I saw you becoming the coach of Hakuren. You came very far, even when I wasn't there.
I don't know when I started to only see you from behind.
One moment I was watching over you and the next you were walking away. Although you grew bigger with each passing moment, you were disappearing in the distance. After some time I saw someone else beside you. It was a boy about the age when we separated with navy blue hair that was standing up in several directions. He was smiling and looking up to you and you were smiling back. You ruffled his hair and gave him advices and taught him our techniques. It took me a while to figure out but when I did, I felt like smiling and crying at the same time.
He was your little brother now, wasn't he? Even if I were to come back to you now, it wouldn't be the same. He didn't replace me but he made you happy, so I should be happy, too, right? I only wanted to stay by your side and watch over you but I don't think I need to anymore. My place has been taken now and a dead person can't come back to the living. Even if I was only the ghost, I felt thick tears rolling down my cheeks but I kept on laughing. I wasn't sure what weighted more: The pain or the happiness. I walked over to you one last time and touched the back of your head lovingly before disappearing into the night.
You left me behind.
But I don't mind.
I don't mind being left behind if it is for you.
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A drabble and then such a short one? This isn't like me at all!
Anyway, I just had this random idea when I was watching the new episode of Inazuma Eleven Go today. I was really looking forward to see Fubuki again but then I saw that new kid who seems to see him as on older brother. I don't really have anything against the kid, but I kept on thinking that Shirou saw him as a little brother substitute or something and how Atsuya would feel about the whole thing. And then this came out.
The thoughts might seem kind of random since I had to cover like one and a half season in this, so please forgive me.
Please review!