Star Wars: Until Han Comes
Ever since I can remember, my name has been Leia Organa. Sometimes Princess. Sometimes Senator. Sometimes Councilor. But always Leia Organa.
Luke has destroyed all of my confidence as to who I am with just a few words.
I must face him, he said, just seconds ago, when he still stood before me, healthy, strong and alive. I don't know if I'll ever see him that way again.
Why? I asked, curious and worried for my friend's sanity. No one in there right minds wanted to face Vader. Foolish Leia. Why couldn't you have kept your mouth shut?
I was not in a million years expecting what he told me next.
He is my father. Luke just said it. Straightforward and matter-of-factly, as if he was commenting on the weather. I wondered for a moment how long he had known, if he had been feeding Vader information on the Alliance's whereabouts all along.
Your father, I all but spat, the word like poison on my tongue. He looked up at me then, and I knew he had never betrayed us. Luke's bright eyes, the eyes I wish I could just stare at, for hours on end, were now dark with unspeakable pain and agony. The sight tore at my heart. I have always thought of Luke as my younger brother, even though he is five minutes older than I, and to see him in such pain… He had felt me question his loyalty, somehow, and to see him like that, to know that it had been partly me who had hurt him; I could feel his pain. The hand that had been lightly holding mine clenched tightly, squeezing my fingers in an iron grip.
I looked down at our hands, and saw his covered by a single black glove.
I remembered that Luke's grip really was iron.
I then realized that it was Vader's fault.
I felt so bad then, knowing that Vader must have told him, right after Luke's hand had gone spinning off in to the wind.
There's more, Luke whispered urgently, forcing my eyes back up to his. It won't be easy for you to here this, but you must.
If I don't make it back, you're the only hope for the Alliance.
Luke was right. It wasn't easy for me to here him say that.
Luke, don't talk that way! I protested immediately, shaking my head in defiance of what he was implying. Vader was a monster. He probably wouldn't show mercy to Luke just for sharing DNA. You have a power I don't understand, and could never have!
Luke shook his head sadly. You're wrong, Leia. You have that power too. In time, you'll learn to use it as I have. His eyes got kind of sad and misty then, and he looked out at the trees.
The Force runs strong in my family, he said, and I felt a confused frown tugging at my eyes. My father has it. I have it. And, He broke off, looking back to me.
My sister has it. My mouth dropped open, and I searched for words, to accept, to deny, to say anything.
Yes. It's you, Leia.
I know, I said at last, finding my voice. I stared up at Luke—at my brother! Somehow, I've always known. This explains the connection I first felt with him when he stormed into my cell on the Death Star. My mind flew back to Vader, and my elation droped like a stone. Vader is my father? No! Vader killed my father when he stood behind me and watched Alderaan die. Vader is an inhuman monster, incapable of love. Now I know why Mother was so sad. Had Luke and I been conceived in rape? Or was Vader an award-winning actor?
Then you know why I must face him, Luke said, standing up, and bringing me back to the here and now.
Luke, run away! Run far away! If he can feel your presence then leave this place! I wish I could go with you.
No, you don't, Luke said, and I knew he was right. What was I thinking? He would not have been able to leave either, not with the Emperor right there in the Death Star. You've always been strong. Let me go to him. There is good in him, I've felt it. I can bring him back, to the Good Side.
He kissed me, and then, he left. He just turned around and walked away, going off to face Father.
Leaving me alone with this burden, until he returns.
Until Han comes.