Tony Stark: Last Partay Night
Story not for kids, contains some mature content. Ugh.
Tony slowly opened his eyes, sight blurry, house full of mess. He can't get off his bed, and he was hugging a pillow, very comfortable. He forced himself. He was swaying when he stood up, hardly catching his balance… and wore clothes.
His eyes half closed, hardly looking around. He scooped the tequila glass to his hands and took a sip. He went outside to the pool. He dropped the glass with very wide eyes. "Mother of god!" He approached her, "Natasha, Natasha, Tasha, Tash." Then she… snored. Tony slowly stepped back, finding the others.
He wandered around his house. Thor was lying on the yard, Clint on the barbecue, and Bruce sleeping on the sofa with his upper body on the floor. He can't seem to find Steve. He went to his room… and found out that the 'pillow' that he was hugging was Steve.
"Oh god!"
He face palmed, they were wasted. He sat on his sofa trying to recall everything that happened.
"I wish what happened wasn't like in The Hangover."
He remembered everything, and sang.
There's a Steven in my bed
There's a pounding in my head
Alcohol all over the room
Tasha sleeping in the pool
Bruce smells like a mini-bar
Thor's passed out in the yard
Barton's on the barbecue
There's a hickie or a bruise?
Pictures of last night
Ended up so drunk
We're screwed, oh well
We all blacked out, no
But I'm very sure it ruled… damn.
Last Partay Night, yeah we choked on the Pop-Tarts
And we took too many shots
I kissed Steve with all my heart
Last Partay Night, yeah we stole some baseball cards
And got kicked out by 'eye patch'
So we hit The Asgard
Last Partay Night, we went breaking on the bridge
Kidnapped a God of Mischief
Then got cast out by Odin
Last Partay Night, no we didn't break the law
And we never wanna stop-op, whoa-oh-oah
This Partay Night, do it all again
This Partay Night, do it all… again?
Trying to avoid to laugh
Never answering our 'boss'
Think the S.H.I.E.L.D. stole my suit
We're now sleeping on the floor
With my favorite armor dress
Media's and fans are out there
I need Red Bull vodka, hell!
That was such an epic win
The pranks of last night, Steve was once online
He's confused, oh well
He's got a headache too
Loki hated he never ruled, "Damn!"
Last Partay Night, we got Loki by our side
He just took too many shots
He kissed Thor with all his might
Last Partay Night, we stole some of Coulson's cards
Then he cried out to the stars
So he searched for Mr. Stark (me)
Last Partay Night, we just went to Jotunheim
Jotuns wanted autographs
Laufey was an Avatar
Last Partay Night, we didn't break Jotunheim world
But Odin would cast us out, out, oh hell no
This Partay Night, visit Laufey again
This Partay Night, avoid Odin again
This Partay Night.
The-A-VEN-GERS, The-A-VEN-GERS, The-A-VEN-GERS, The-A-VEN-GERS, The-A-VEN-GERS, The-A-VEN-GERS, The-A-VEN-GERS
Last Partay Night, yeah we're chased by all the cops
They fired too many gunshots
They just thought that we were nuts
Last Partay Night, we rode on those running carts
And got busted by the cops
They said we must hit the ground
Last Partay Night, we were sent into The S.H.I.E.L.D.
Then got scolded by Fury
And told us to go to sleep
Last Partay Night, oh he said we broke the law
Telling us that we must stop-op, no no no
This Partay Night… do it all again!
"Oh hell no, Thor virus." He muttered.
He heard 'water' being passed on a container, then a glass fell, like a glass bottle. He looked and saw Thor swaying, drinking Red Bull Vodka. Tony went to drink water … and when he was done, he was feeling dizzy. Eyesight blurred, losing balance.
He fell on the floor, realizing he drank Belvedere vodka.
"Holy… shi.." His eyelids shut, sending him immediately to sleep.
The next day, he woke up in the afternoon. He was awakened by Bruce.
"Hey, Tony. You okay?"
Tony muttered, "I thought I drank hydrogen peroxide…"
Bruce quickly replied, "No, you didn't, you're still alive, 'kay? Now, Thor, he is…"
Tony sat straight, "I saw him drink Red Bull Vodka last night, then I drank Belvedere vodka… thinking it was water.. then.."
They heard someone screaming from upstairs.
Bruce was shocked, and giggled.
Now on the stairs was Steven Rogers, covering his lower body with the blanket from Tony's bed.
He stuttered, face filled with fear.
"W-w-why am I na-naked? Wh.. why am I.. o-on your bed? Am- am I… not a vir-"
Tony met his eyes and quietly replied, "Yes. Sadly, we just did."
His eyes widened. "No, you're my first- Oh god I wish it was a girl!"
Tony replied lowly, "And you're my first as a guy. Just thank yourself because if I was a girl, I would be pregnant!"
Steve went hysterical, "Oh my God, Tony, no we didn't! I don't wanna lose my virginity-"
Bruce yelled, "Steve, sorry but it already happened!"
Steve whimpered and raced upstairs.
Tony face palmed, "Oh my. Just like The Hangover 2."
Bruce corrected him, "A mini-hangover. Not exactly like the movie, we didn't go to Bangkok or what, and we didn't misplace anyone-"
Natasha yelled, "Thor!" Clint shouted, "Where are you?"
Tony and Bruce ran outside, seeing Natasha in her bikinis and Clint with his hair ruined.
Tony pinched his face, "Oh god, hangover, hangover, hangover-"
Steve's voice echoed from upstairs, "I don't wanna get drunk again! They said I can't get drunk! Why did this happen? UGGGHH!"
Bruce yelled, "SHUT UP STEVEN!"
They heard someone grunt, they looked up.
Thor was seating on the branch of a tall tree, sleepy. "Oh, for Odin's sake, Dino, Noid, Dinodin.. Agghh.."
Natasha asked, "How did you get up there?"
Thor scratched his hair, still like perfectly combed, "I already told you… the Red Bull vodka is the last thing I remember…" Then he rested his head on the trunk.
Tony smiled and whispered, "Kinda, still worth it."
The end. :)
song lyrics by me :)
story by me.
(this story is also in .com)