It was their first benefit after accidentally tipping off the media. They had a field day bigger than after Jane shot Doyle. it was a fancy black-tie event in a big fancy ballroom in one of the most exclusive hotels in town. Jane felt the discomfort she always felt at these things, but this was important to Maura so it was important to Jane. The past four months had been a whirlwind to say the least.
After telling Maura about the ultimatum Maura had retreated, Jane rarely seeing her at work and it was slowly driving her insane. She kept wondering why separation from Maura, no matter how minute, felt worse than months away from him. She tried to understand herself and why she was contemplating the proposal at all. She was in love with the idea more than the man. That she knew. Then why was she hurting so much being away from Maura? Because Maura never left her. She was always there when she needed her the most. And now she wasn't and they were both hurting.
Jane was completely unprepared when she found Maura on her stoop. Maura was still in the clothes she wore during the day so Jane assumed she'd come over directly from work.
"Hi Jane," Maura started tentatively. Those were the first words in over a month that weren't related to guts or test results.
"Hey Maura," Jane sheepishly answered her. "What brings you here?"
"I need to talk to you." Maura stood up and began moving toward the entrance. Jane took that as her cue and she let Maura in and followed her in. Well inside her apartment she shed her work thing off of her as she took out a beer and started uncorking a bottle of wine Jane knew Maura liked. She did all this on autopilot, as if Maura never stopped talking to her. Maura had stood motionless just inside the door watching Jane move around her kitchen. Jane gave Maura the glass of wine as she motioned toward the sofa. When they had sat down Jane looked expectantly at Maura who was slowly sipping her wine. Jane took a swig of her beer before opening her mouth to speak but Maura just held her hand up as if she was collecting her thoughts before speaking.
"Jen, the engagement or proposal, ultimatum, whatever you call it, it left me slightly stunned. Actually, it left me very stunned. The look on your face when you told me, it was like wanted to tell you to say no. I could never do that to you, be in the way of your happiness. But this latest week I have felt empty. I've wanted to distance myself from you, to tell myself that if you leave... That I will be able to handle being alone again." Maura let out a dejected sigh as if she knew this day would come. "I don't want to be in the way of your happiness." A small tear rolled down her cheek as she finished her explanation. Jane understood why and she finally had her answer.
"I will never let you be alone. Ever again. I love you. You know that Maura. I am sorry if I ever let you believe otherwise. I... I do love you. Maybe more than I should, but having you so close yet so far this week made me realize I could never stand life without you. Just ask the guys, I've been a monster all week." Jane let out a chuckle at the last bit. Maura smiled weakly, tears still rolling down. "I'm telling him no." Jane couldn't help notice Maura's mood shift, feeling her energy go from zero to a hundred.
"But Jane, isn't this what you've always wanted, a life with him?"
"I thought so too Maura but I was settling for less. I was going for silver when I have a chance on the gold." Hope lite Jane's eyes ablaze only to be matched by Maura, the metaphor didn't go unnoticed. "If you'd have me that is, I know this might be sudden but we've had a special connection for years and I have never acted on it because of fear and I really want this, you're the one..." Her rambles were cut off by a pair of lips. Maura's lips on her lips.
And so here they were. Four months later at a black-tie event ina room full of important people from the east coast. Maura had one of the most gorgeous dresses on her. Like a glove was passé, this was made for her body, no glove fit this well. Jane wore her usual modest dress, only because Maura had insisted. They were both photographed extensively when they entered the hotel. Jane unaccustomed to the flashes and attention held on to Maura like her life depended on it. The evening was going quite well when Jane had to excuse herself to take a call leaving Maura alone with a group of people Jane had met at other benefits and fundraisers. Maura called them acquaintances as they went to the same boarding school and frequented the same circles when growing up. As soon as they thought Jane was out of earshot they began.
"I don't understand why you are slumming it with her Maura, she barely knows English. You are an Isles!"
"Her father was a plumber? Her mother works at a cafe and lives in your guest house? I didn't think there was a class lower than lower class, guess I was wrong. At least you keep up with charities even in your spare time..."
"I've heard things about Rizzoli, crazy that one, I've heard she's nearly been suspended for blatantly disregarding rules, I do wonder what she does to her superior to keep working there... I'm sure she would never tell you."
"Wasn't she the youngest ever to be promoted to homicide in BPD? To serve and protect indeed..."
"My contact at the BPD says she's a real bitch to work with."
"When she's kicked out Maura, and I say when, not it, she's be no better than the bums we are giving our hard earned money here tonight."
If they took Maura's silence for agreement they could never have been more wrong. A shocked Maura turned her tall heels to go look for Jane only to find her standing behind her, within earshot. The smirks of her "acquaintances" told Maura they knew she'd been there for a while. Jane quickly dropped her eyes to the floor as she mumbled a hurried goodbye and started walking toward the exit. Maura turned to give them an icy glare coupled with the most threatening things she could say.
"This barrage of uncivilized behavior toward on the most decorated homicide detectives in Boston history will reach each and everyone's employees, boards, CEOs and most importantly: My parents." As she turned her heels to catch up with Jane they knew their careers were in danger as were the several chairs they held in various charities. You do not mess with the Isles Foundation or the Isles'. They dispersed in shame.
As soon as Maura had her coat in her hand she hoped the valets were swamped with rich people demanding fast service. Sure enough, there was Jane, shoulders slumped waiting patiently for her turn. Maura came up from behind, startling Jane a bit before kissing her on the shoulder.
"I'm so sorry you heard all that. You know I don't feel like that. I will handle them in true Isles fashion." Maura said all of this with confidence that only made Jane slump even more. She didn't have to defend Jane. She didn't have to waste her time.
"Is that what people think of me, that I'm a lowlife that slept her way to detective and homicide?" Jane said quietly with such sadness Maura couldn't help releasing her back only to pull her in for a proper hug. Jane let her and finally it was their turn with the valet. Maura had driven them here so naturally she would drive them back. Jane just accepted it without struggle.
The ride was silent. At the red lights it was even quieter, damn Priuses. Maura kept glancing at Jane, trying to gauge her emotional well-being. Jane just kept staring out the passenger window.
When they arrived at Maura's Jane had to be coaxed out of the car. Well inside Maura placed Jane square on the sofa, kissing her temple softly as she sat down next to her.
"All my life I've worked hard to get where I am at, I guess I shouldn't feel so dejected when people say those things about me. I mean, it's nothing I haven't heard before but since they know you... I don't know. I can't help to think that maybe you feel a little like them too." This wasn't the first time Jane voiced these concerns, the first charity event was nearly a disaster. Jane had joked around with the head of the charity, at first it was going fine but Jane's sarcasm backfired. If Maura hadn't been there Jane would most definitely have been kicked out, head first. After that incident Jane was very careful and only joked around with Maura, letting her do the most of the actual talking, almost only speaking when spoken to in company of other beside Maura. Jane still didn't know why Maura continued to drag her to those things. She just didn't fit in.
"Jane, you are the bravest individual I know. You're selfless to a fault and I love you. You are sensitive when you need to and a hard ass when you need to. Some people misunderstand you because you have difficulties trusting them, not unlike me at times. But when people do get to know you they get to know how funny and sweet you are. I personally think you're cute and on of my favorite things to do is make you smile that beautiful smile. Most of all I love who you are. You are smarter than you give yourself credit and I don't ever want you to change. Not for me, not for anyone." Maura's speech left Jane a little breathless, her passion came through, her feelings. No hives told Jane Maura was being completely and utterly honest, not that she would ever lie about this.
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything to them when they started but I was honestly so surprised I was rendered speechless," Maura explained. Jane looked at Maura, she felt more confident in herself, nothing they said was anything she hadn't heard before but coming from people associated with Maura the words dealt a heavier blow. Often it would just run off, she knew whom she was and she had full confidence in her abilities, but sometimes the words just get to you.
"I know, I don't blame you it just... It got to me. I'll be fine." Jane smiled as she confirmed she would be fine.
"Let's go to bed Jane," Maura said with a suggestive smile. Jane didn't need to be told twice.
Jane dreaded the next benefit but she really couldn't say no to Maura. As a compromise she got to wear on of her fancier suits. Arriving at yet another plush location, this time the most exclusive country club the city could offer, the cameras turned to them yet again. Well inside Jane got them drinks while Maura started making the rounds. Jane joined her eventually with a soft kiss on Maura's cheek to announce her presence and handed Maura a glass of their finest wine. During their schmoozing they didn't encounter one of Maura's acquaintances from the last benefit.
"Hey Maur, I haven't seen one for you boarding school "friends" here tonight. Did you have them whacked or something?" Jane said between chuckles but stopped pretty quickly when Maura started fidgeting and looking like she was about to lie. "...don't tell me you-"
"NO! Of course I didn't. I just made a few calls to certain people about their uncouth behavior, that's all." Maura was still avoiding Jane's eyes but the explanation made Jane feel all warm inside.
"You didn't have to do that, I can fight my own battles," Jane said softly.
"I know, I just... I didn't like how they treated you and seeing you hurt hurts me. I know many things but the thing I am most certain about it that you're the one. I know it in my heart, how irrational that might be, my mind's made up and my heart agrees." Maura was looking at Jane with piercing eyes, waiting for a response to such a statement.
"I love you and you're the one for me too," Jane said, pressing her lips on Maura's lips.