"Public Displays of Affection"
By MakoRain
"No, you hang up...heehee you hang up first...no, you do it...well you didn't hang up either!"
Tifa had been having this exact same nonsensical giddy conversation for thirteen minutes straight. They knew this only because Reno was keeping track of the time, watching the seconds turn into minutes with each movement of the big hand almost parallel to her footsteps pacing behind the bar.
This was weird, if her entire group of friends/past enemies/new allies leaning over the counter and watching her gave any indication of this; however, she didn't seem to notice or chose to ignore their staring unblinking eyes.
"I said goodbye second so you hang up first. You have to, it's a rule! Well, an unspoken rule but a rule nonetheless."
"Who is she talking to?" Yuffie finally asked and the general populace just shrugged their shoulders, not having the slightest clue. Aerith patted the little ninja on the head as if she knew the secret as all eyes turned to her and she said, "We'll see soon enough."
"Oh know, you don't mean..." Reno trailed off with a look of disgust mixed with pure shock on his open mouthed face, watching the scene unfold like some horror movie...if you don't like sappy romances apparently.
Sure enough, the answer to their question walked through the door slowly, sneaking up on an unknowing Tifa even as he kept talking to her on his cell phone. "No, I said I loved you first which means you have to hang up first."
"God damn it!" Reno groaned, dreading the day this would come. Even if it did seem inevitable he always figured he'd have a little more time to make his move before the man ever grew a back bone and beat him to the punch. The two lovebirds didn't seem to notice their rapt audience as they were caught up in their own little world of never ending pointless phone conversations and hugs and rainbows and floating balloon hearts and all of that lovey dovey stuff.
"That doesn't make any sense, why would I-" Cloud stepped quietly up to her as he closed his phone, her back still to him. "He hung up." She said it with a pout before he turned her around and hugged her tight, pulling Tifa to his chest as she gave a little squeal of joy.
"Oh, look at that pouty lip. It's just begging for attention," he said, leaning closer for kisses that pulled at her lips and had her giggling like a school girl. Yep, they had completely forgotten they had guests.
"Would you two just shut up?! All that racket is breaking my concentration." Cid grumbled in his usual way, getting their attention until they finally stopped sucking face even though they still had their hands all over each other.
"Concentration on what, Cid?" Tifa asked, turning around in Cloud's arms and trying her best to stay quite as she squirmed under his lips now nuzzling into her neck.
"My bourbon, what else?"
Dozens of eyes were on him, staring at him as if he finally took the last call into old senile crazy town.
"You need to give a good bourbon you're undivided attention, feel it go down nice and slow." In demonstration, he lifted his glass tumbler and swished the amber liquid around as if it were a fine wine before taking a healthy sized gulp much to his satisfaction.
"Okaaay then, I'm so glad I don't drink." Yuffie piped up from her stool, swiveling it around like the child she still was, as Reno constantly loved to point out. "That's cuz you're not allowed to, twidlet." He would never pass the chance up to make fun of anyone.
Diverting their attention to the situation at hand, all eyes went over the well experienced pilot and never ending bickering between the ninja and glorified body guard back to Cloud and Tifa, who were sickeningly doing that baby talk thing couples, you know the kind, and giving each other Eskimo kisses.
"Oh, so not cool," summed up the male population's reaction to these displays of affection while Aerith and Yuffie sighed, holding their hands over their hearts at the adorableness of it all.
"I think I'm gonna puke," Reno said, covering his mouth with his hand and looking away before he could be physically sick on anyone.
"This must be what going mad feels like," Vincent put his two cents in, wide eyes adding to the only affect of his words.
"Aww, I think it's sweet," Yuffie replied, elbowing Vincent in the ribs and then looking back at Cloud and Tifa doing some serious making out. "He's using way too much tongue and still a pain in the ass as always."
Strangely, Zack just stood their, leaning casually against the bar behind which his best friend was having his first full on French kiss. Awww, how sweet and yet gross to watch. He looked back at the clock they all had been watching so adamantly earlier and suddenly slapped his hand on the wood countertop.
"Alright people, that confirms it. The bidding pool's closed, time to pay up!"
Cloud pulled his lips away from Tifa's long enough to ask, "Wait, bidding pool?"
Zack shook him off as if to say 'keep going about your business' which she took the hint and pulled Cloud's attention back to her kissable lips swollen and red from all of that kissing, naturally.
Once he was further occupied, Zack blandly commented.
"We've just been running a little wager as to when you two would finally get together, that's all. Just some simple, harmless, gambling fun."
Zack waved a handful of money held like a fan in their direction with a smirk.
"You have made me a small fortune, Spiky. Thanks for not letting me influence you into making your move sooner."
"You bet against me? But I'm your best friend!" Cloud gave a dignified cry before falling to the mercy of Tifa's lips once again.
"Sorry, Strife. Had to go with the odds."
Vincent earned a nice helping as well seeing that he never had much faith in Cloud when it came to making his feelings known. Reno lost out the most by overshooting immensely if his moans and groans about the unfairness of it all had anything to do with it, paying out his cash to the quiet dark-haired man. All of the guys handed their remaining money to the girls who took it happily, winning the bet that Tifa would have Cloud acting like a sap in love in no time flat.
"I think our business is done here," Barrett bellowed, glaring at his empty hands after losing all that money.
Before he left, he made one thing clear. "You break her heart, I break your face. Understand, Spiky?"
Tifa and Cloud broke apart from each other to look at the older man. She held a brotherly affection toward Barret whereas Cloud gave a nod with a hint of nervousness in his eyes. The other man could easily do some damage with that mechanical arm of his. However, as soon as he was gone, all thought of ass kicking vanished as Tifa came into view once again and he pounced her, pressing her against the bar while kissing her with more force.
Reno turned around just in time to get an eye full of this.
"Oh for the love of all things holy!" He exclaimed, almost running into a frantic Yuffie who was crying "My eyes, oh my eyes have been blinded" a bit over dramatically.
"That is uncalled for," Vincent said in his hushed seriousness, to the couple making out or to the overactive ninja no one was sure.
In all of the melodrama, no one noticed the door to Seventh Heaven jingling open in the uncharacteristic late afternoon.
"Rude, Reno, we've got an assignment. Pack up," Tseng, their team's leader announced to his two Turks, overlooking the general looks he received at interrupting such an interesting time. Interesting was one way to put it.
"Oh thank god, saved by the bell."
No one had seen Reno move that fast out of a bar before and Rude followed slowly behind his partner, giving a nod of thanks to Tseng from removing them from the former awkward situation. Tseng didn't understand until he glanced behind the bar and found Cloud and Tifa seriously entangled in each other, made obvious by Elena.
"That is just so sweet."
Tifa pulled away at the sound of her friend's voice even as Cloud kept his lips attached to her neck and his hands were wandering in some very tempting places. She smiled at Elena and gave her a thumb's up, pointing at a retreating Tseng's back as the tall woman's face turned beet red framed with her short blond hair, following her commander and secret love.
"Congratulations." Tseng gave one final farewell before emptying the last of his Turks from the bar and closing the door behind him.
"Well that's better," Cid shook his head in appreciation. "Nice and quiet now."
This didn't last long as he finally looked at the new couple again and saw them grinding against the bar.
"Keep it in yer pants for five seconds for cryin' out loud!" With that, he took one last long gulp of his drink, leaving the empty glass on the counter still shaking as he walked away.
Watching all of this in his constant calm manner, Vincent finally stood up from his corner of the table. "I think it's time to go."
"But I don't want to-"
"Oh come on, I'll buy you an ice cream cone." Vincent grabbed Yuffie by the arm to get her off her barstool and she shook him off as they made their way towards the door.
She looked up at him with pleading eyes. "With sprinkles?"
Good Lord, she was infuriating albeit cute at the same time.
"Yes, with sprinkles.
Happily, Yuffie skipped out of the bar pulling a less eager-to-skip Vincent behind her.
"Okay, if no one minds, I'm going to be borrowing Cloud for about 25 minutes," Tifa declared, finally pulling away from a soon to be half naked Cloud as his pants were loose to see the bar almost empty.
"Awwww how sweet, Cloud is going to lose his virginity. Seriously, Teef, I think it'll be ten minutes max."
"Zachary!" Aerith said in shock, getting ready to apologize for his rudeness until she noticed she and a slightly red-faced Cloud were the only ones really embarrassed. It was true, after all.
"Oh, don't mind us. We'll be on our way." Aerith smiled sweetly and shooed Tifa and Cloud into the direction of the stairs leading to the bedroom. "It's fine, we'll let ourselves out.
"Good luck, Champ! Need me to cheer you on outside the bedroom door!" Zack called up to the already retreating couple, hearing the door slam. "I guess that's a no."
"Zachary Elijah Fair." Uh oh, he had been middle named; time to do some serious reconnaissance and recovery. He turned around quickly, an explanation already falling from his lips. "Seriously sweetie, I was just kidding. You know me and Cloud, we love to joke."
She just shook her head and sighed. "It's time to leave them to their privacy." They took a few steps forward before Aerith looked back over her shoulder teasingly at him. "Besides, you know naughty boys don't get any treats."
Zack gave a wolfish grin. He liked where this was going. "But I've been good, babe. Honest." He held up his hand in the Boy Scout salute and everything which made her smile.
"How about a little privacy time for your treat then?" She asked, making her way towards the door with Zack following close behind, tapping it lovingly and she squealed.
The last of their friends left as Cloud and Tifa enjoyed their first deep intimate night together. In all actuality it lasted sixteen minutes the first go round; Zack Elijah Fair had lost that bet at least.
As it was meant to be...
The End.
A/N: Here is my demonstration of the couple baby talk in case you don't know-comeheremisterkissyfaceohi'llcomeandgetyoumissadorable…sorry, it's hard to demonstrate without talking it out. As for the middle name thing, it was a serious warning whenever my mother middle named me and my brothers so I thought that would be funny to add in.