A/N: Finally, from the authors who until this point had only written parodies, you are now getting a (dramatic silence) romance! Basically, after watching every Lord of the Rings movie at least five times (probably more), we noticed that if Frodo was a girl, his actions could be explained in a much more natural way. All the times that Frodo didn't fight, and just went off and hid, all the times he got hurt, or was helpless, just seem to fit a girl in a much better way than a guy. No offense girls. So here we are, gender-swapping Frodo. And just to add a little more romance, we're gender-swapping Pippin too. Enjoy! Co-written with veebeejustte.

Disclaimer: Although we wish we owned LOTR, we don't. Sorry.

Chapter 1

There she was, sitting on a wooden chair, watching the festivities. It was the 111th birthday of the renowned Bilbo Baggins. It also happened to be her 33rd birthday. And, unsurprisingly, the two were related - second cousins to be exact, although she tended to refer to Bilbo as 'Uncle'. Her long black hair fell to her waist. Her blue eyes glistened in the lanternlight. And, in Sam's opinion, she looked absolutely beautiful. Fay didn't know that however, and for now, Sam was content with that.

As a rousing song began to play, some of the other young hobbits got up to dance. Fay jumped up with them, her feet skipping merrily over the ground, the ribbons in her hair flying loosely in the air.

After a few minutes, Fay breathlessly ran up to Sam. "Sam! Come on and dance with us!"

"Oh, I think I'll just have another ale," Sam stalled.

"Oh, no you don't!" And with that, Fay pulled Sam off his seat and into the whirling mass of skirts and feet. Unsure of what to do, he just stuck with Fay for a while.

After several dances ranging from fast to awkwardly slow, Sam excused himself to take a quick breather. Sam's young friend Merry sauntered up with a knowing grin on his face.

"So, I saw you and Fay dancing out there!" he said mischievously before hiccuping.

"Oh, you know we're just friends." Sam rolled his eyes slightly. He leaned in a little closer. "And you shouldn't be talking. What were you doing kissing Paige in the corner over there?"

"Shh!" Merry said hurriedly. "It's supposed to be a secret." He hiccuped again.

Sam looked concernedly at him. "I think you should lay off on the ale."

"Oh, come on. It's nothing. It's a party, what am I supposed to be doing?" Merry winked and walked off, stumbling a little on the way.

Sam rolled his eyes, and decided he had lost any appetite for ale that night.

Paige ran to meet Merry, who was on his way back to the ale keg.

"Merry! Come quick!" she yelled. "I found the fireworks!"

Merry's eyes lit up as she dragged him to where a wooden cart was stuffed brim-full with fireworks of all shapes and sizes. The wizard Gandalf had brought them, being famous for his spectacular pyrotechnic displays.

Quickly, Merry boosted Paige up onto the cart, where she began rummaging through the wide variety of firecrackers and other assorted explosives.

Paige chose a long skinny one and pulled it out from the others, shoving it towards Merry, who shook his head. "No, no, the big one!" he whispered, hastily looking around to make sure nobody could see or hear them.

Paige looked around quickly, then spotted the gigantic firework. It was bright red, and one end was in the shape of a dragon head. It was taller than she was, and she grinned deviously, thinking about the explosion it would create. Tossing it to Merry, she hopped down off the cart.

They quickly slipped into a nearby striped tent. Merry shoved the end of the firework into the ground, while Paige lit a match. She lit the fuse, then blew out the match.

Merry was keeping the dragon from tipping over, and as the fuse burned lower, he shoved it toward Paige. She shoved it back immediately.

"You're supposed to stick it in the ground!" Merry said worriedly.

"It is in the ground!" Paige retorted.

"Outside!"

"This was your idea!"

In a flash of yellow sparks, the firework rushed into the sky, pulling the tent with it, and leaving the pair of hobbits lying on the ground, their faces covered in soot, grinning madly.

Sam was chatting with Fay, laughing over some joke, when a loud rushing noise filled the air. The two looked up, watching excitedly as another of Gandalf's famous fireworks flew into the air. It flew, gaining speed and height. As it reached the height of its arc, it began to expand, growing larger, and gaining large bat wings. A long tail snaked into existence, and the monster turned around, flying in a rush of wind and fire directly at the grouped hobbits.

A dragon! The festivities were replaced by masses of hobbits running from the beast. Fay clutched Bilbo on the shoulder and warned him of the danger, but he insisted that there had been no dragons anywhere for years. Then, just as Fay got Bilbo to look at the dragon, the creature started to contract. The dragon folded and folded until it was almost nothing, then exploded into the biggest firework Fay had ever laid eyes on. It was astounding.

Sam watched in wonder as the trails of light slowly dissipated. Silence reigned for a moment, when suddenly everyone erupted into cheers. Now that the threat was gone, they could all appreciate the genius of the firework.

Merry and Paige were overjoyed by the result of their little 'escapade'. Gandalf, however, was not, and he immediately set them to work washing the myriad sets of dirty dishes produced by the feasting.

After the commotion had settled down, Bilbo situated himself on a platform in front of the crowd. The hobbits called for a speech, and Bilbo willingly obliged. After greeting each of the represented families, he began.

"Today is my one hundred and eleventh birthday! Alas, eleventy-one years is far too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits. I don't know half of you half as well as I should like and I like less than half of you, half as well as you deserve."

There was no small bit of confusion regarding this statement, as everyone tried to figure out whether it was an insult or a compliment.

"I, er, I have things to do," Bilbo continued. He reached slowly for his pocket. "I've put this off for far too long. I regret to announce that this is the end. I'm going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell. Goodbye."

With those final words, Bilbo disappeared without a trace. A startled gasp erupted from the assembled hobbits.

Fay jumped up in surprise, her eyes frantically scanning the crowd for any sign of Bilbo. Sam, worried about her, and knowing how close she and Bilbo were, approached her cautiously.

"Fay, are you alright?" he asked, concerned.

Fay didn't answer, instead running off towards her home, Bag End.

"Fay!" Sam called after her.

A/N: Read and review! Guest reviews accepted.