"Whew. That was the last one George!" Fred went to the front door of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes and manually locked it before also placing on some magical locks and curses.
"Hurry up then and come help me with this letter, I'm afraid I'll bollocks it up." George replied from up stairs in their flat.
See the Weasley twins had left Hogwarts a little over three years ago. And over those three years their shop had taken off and war had ended. Life was just starting to return to normal.
Well as normal as life ever was for the twin pranksters.
Recently they'd taken it into their heads to finally pursue something they'd been longing over since their sixth year at Hogwarts. And that particular thing was, in actual fact, a person. This person was someone that the Twins had always admired as brave, dark, and utterly sexy. This person was, one, Severus Snape.
So with a bit of infamous Weasley smarts, Fred and George had decided the best way to go about asking Snape out was by courting him. Not in the traditional "lets get married" sense, but in the more modern "nudge nudge wink wink hanky panky" gist of the subject.
The modern courting had similar phases to the traditional one except they were a bit more toned down. For the first phase Fred and George were writing their letter of intention and sending Severus a gift of well meaning.
Which was what George was currently trying to do, unsuccessfully Fred might add. The only thing the letter said so far was:
"Dear Severus,
You are one sexy bastard, from the top of your head to the toes of your feet and everything in between. I don't even think you realize just how fit you really are, well let's put it this way, I wouldn't hesitate to…. "
And after that stuff gets a bit X rated, but at least he does eventually get to the point.
P.S. Oh yeah, Fred and I are courting you.
Yours,
Fred and George
Fred gave a small sigh of exasperation, at the dreadfully off topic, even somewhat vulgar, letter.
"So what do you think?" George asked as he walked out of the kitchen, drink in hand.
"I like it. Just take out all of this," I pointed to the sexual parts, " and switch it with some witty dialogue and it'll be perfect."
George pouted, "but I like it and, besides, it's true. I really do want to do all those things to him."
I almost relented, almost, instead I wrapped my arms around his waist and gave his bottom lip a nibble. "This is Snape we're talking about, he won't want an x-rated letter, no matter how well it's written and it is very well written." I ran my tongue along the shell of his ear.
Needless to say the letter didn't get re-written that night.
We did eventually finish the letter up but the hard part was waiting for the reply and, merlin, did we get a reply. It read:
Messers Fred and George,
I must insist you both immediately cease and desist and if possible, perhaps, you could both walk into the nearest river and never re-surface.
Sincerely,
Severus Snape
Being us, of course we took this to mean that he was deeply flattered and was open to our courting.
So on to step 2, the date phase.