Every Single Bit
I kneel on the floor and look up at her as I watch her
step closer closer to me. "I've been waiting, Severus."
Her voice is so beautiful. If only I could capture it. "Gabriella..."
I can only murmur her name, helplessly trapped by her eyes. Her wonderful
eyes.
"Where have you been?" She asks.
"Oh, Gabriella. I've been here. Waiting for you. Thinking about
you and the day we see each other again."
"Waiting? Waiting for me? Ha!" She tilts her head up and
laughs. Laughs straight into the cold, crystal clear night that I just
realize has appeared around us. Then she stares down at me. Her eyes hold
no sign of merriment and her face is vacant of her wonderful smile. The
breath-taking smile that I love so much. Her voice cuts through the night's
silence. "Don't lie, Severus. You know I hate it when you do."
It is my turn to stare. "But, but, I'm not lying Gabriella! I have
been waiting! I love you! I love you so much!"
"You? Love me?" She grins, but it is a grin with no humor. I nod
helplessly. "You don't love me."
"But I do, Gabriella! I do! With all my heart!"
"Then why did you join them?" She does no need to add who "them"
means. We both know what she is talking about. "Why did you kill her? Kill
him? Kill them?"
"I don't know." I whisper and look hopelessly at the floor.
"You say you love me?" I nod again. "Then prove it."
I look up sharply. "How?"
"Catch me."
"What?"
"Catch me." She says simply. And suddenly she is no longer in front
of me. Our surroundings change. I don't realize that, though. I'm too busy
looking up at her, standing up at the top of a cliff. I don't even realize
that I'm floating in the air, a hundred feet above the sea, without a broom.
And she stands there, at the edge of the cliff, thousands of feet above
me.
"Gabriella!" I cry. "Gabriella, come back! "
"Catch me, Severus. Catch me."
And then she jumps.
I try to move. Try do something, anything, to catch her. But I can't.
I cannot move. And I watch helplessly as she falls past my motionless form.
She hits the blue surface of the ocean below me. My screams pierce the
air. "Nooooo!!!!!!!!!!!" And then I am falling, falling down to hit the
slapping, icy waves below me.
But I don't hit them. Instead, I hit the dusty, dry ground. I cough
on the dust that fills my nose, my mouth, and stops me from breathing.
"Ah, so nice of you to drop in, Severus." The Dark Lord's voice
is laced with a cruel humor that I know too well.
I look up at him through the dust. I stagger to my feet, my own
fear replacing the dust and stopping the air from filling my lungs.
"You- you evil, horrible, terrible man! You killed her didn't you?
You pushed her!!!"
Those vermilion evil eyes hold a humor to them that I cannot call
anything but malicious. How very like the Dark Lord, with his sadistic
ways.
"Now, Severus, we both know it wasn't my fault. You could have caught
her. But instead you decided to just stand there and watch her fall. She's
dead, Severus. Dead. And it's all your fault. You don't love her." And
then, though it was the Dark Lord's face and the Dark Lord's mouth that
formed the words, it was Gabriella's voice that came out. "You don't love
me."
And I wept. I lay on the ground that had changed to marble, in the
dark room that had appeared around me, and wept, the sobs raking my body.
I wept and wept, alone in my agony. " Gabriella!" I cried. "Gabriella,
come back to me!" I slammed the floor with both of my fists. "Gabriella,"
I moaned. "Gabriella, come back. Gabriella, I love you! I love you, I love
you, I love..." My voice trailed off as my sobs echoed in the room and
I was alone with my sorrow.
Severus Snape sat up in bed. Despite the fact that he was drenched in sweat, his whole body shivered. Dammit, he thought. What the heck is happening to me? That was the third dream -or nightmare- he had had that week. It wasn't as if he never dreamed like this. The dreams about *her* came often enough. He got up out of his bed. There was no way he would be able to go back to sleep tonight. Not without any assistance. He walked over to his personal cabinet of potions and looked on the lowest shelf where he kept his sleeping draughts in case of any dreams like the one he just had. They had proved extra handy the past two weeks. For some reason, he had been having more and more dreams lately. It probably didn't help that his Dark Mark had returned. The main reason for Voldemort being in his dreams was probably because of his recent return. But what of Gabriella? Severus, you idiot. You always dream about her. How could you not? He scolded himself. He studied the labels on the potion bottles and cursed when he found he was out of the specific draught he was looking for. How could that be? He always had an extra bottle. And then he remembered. He'd used the remains of his last batch the previous night. He'd planned on brewing a new one yesterday, but he'd been too busy.~*~
Now what to do? He would never get back to sleep. He was too restless. Deciding to take a walk, Severus changed into a pair of robes and slipped out the door to his personal quarters. He passed the entrance to the Slytherin Tower. As the head of the house, he got a room close by. Personally he would prefer to live somewhere else in the school. It was always so loud in there. It was the worst on holidays and when they decided to have parties, and often Severus stayed up late into the night, trying unsuccessfully to fall asleep. He'd given up telling them to be quiet long ago. They never listened.
Finally, Severus walked through the Entrance Hall and walked through the door into the cool, crisp night. A crescent hung in a clear sky adorned with twinkling stars that reminded Severus of Gabriella's eyes. He quickly tore his own eyes away from them. He walked blindly, not really caring where his feet took him. His thoughts were always upon Gabriella. The way she always met him after class. The way she always cheered him up. The way her beautiful brown hair always fell just so. The way she stuck by him when Potter and his gang insulted him, even though she was Lily's friend and Lily was Potter's girlfriend. They both had almost lost everything when certain people had found out about their more than friendly relationship, with her being a Gryffindor and he being a Slytherin. And through it all, she hadn't cared. Hadn't cared one bit about what might have happened. So they loved each other happily... Until that day. That one horrible day. Severus remembered it with a harsh clearness.
Gabriella was waiting for him after class just as usual. They were
both in their seventh year. He walked out and caught up with her. God,
he loved her so much. His hand caught hers. "How was class today?" she
asked.
"OK, but it would have been better if you were there." He grinned.
Gabriella grinned. "Same here. I missed you today, Sevi."
"I did too." He said truthfully. "Come here." Gently he led her
out of the rush of students and outside into the beautiful light of day
. "There," he said, "That's better. We can have some privacy."
Gabriella's smile turned coy. "Oh, really?"
"Yes, my love. Now, come here!" He reached an arm out and pulled
her to him, catching her lips in a kiss. She kissed him back. "Did you
like that, love?"
"Oh, yes." She replied breathlessly.
"Good. 'Cause there's more. "He kissed her again.
Later at dinner, Severus had picked at his food. Lucius Malfoy had reminded him of the unlikeliness of their situation and how Severus should end it fast.
"She isn't one of us, Severus."
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean, Severus! She isn't our kind. She's a bloody Gryffindor!"
"Your point is..." Severus had known what Lucius was getting at.
"My point is that she and you cannot be associated with one another! Your little love relationship must stop!"
"It isn't a love relationship," Severus lied. "She's just helping me on my homework, as I help her in potions."
"I don't care what you call it. But it must, and will, stop. Or else that job I had secured for you won't be so secure anymore." Lucius had promised Severus that he would get him a job for this summer after they had graduated. Severus was pretty sure it wasn't exactly a respectful job, but he truly didn't have much choice. No one would take him on with his father being held in Azkaban. But he didn't care about some stupid job. It was what Lucius said next that scared Severus. "And you won't be seeing your precious Gabriella again if you don't stop. I can promise you that."
"Fine," Severus said. The next words hurt as they came out but he said them anyway. It was for Gabriella's sake. "My relationship with Gabriella will end."
"Good, Severus. Very good." Lucius smirked and walked away.
Now, as Severus stood up from his barely touched plate of food and
walked out of the Great Hall, the words echoed in his mind. "My relationship
with Gabriella will end... My relationship with Gabriella will end..."
He swore. What was he going to do? His thoughts were upon this when he
realized where he was. Without noticing, he had walked outside and made
his way to a bench in some bushes. He sat down upon the bench when he heard
a sound behind him. Startled, he jumped up and whirled around. "Who's there?"
He called, wand at the ready.
"It's just me, Sevi." Gabriella. It was Gabriella. What was he going
to say to her?
He did the one thing he could think of, knowing how much he would
regret it later. "My name is Severus. And it's Snape for you."
"What?" Gabriella was bewildered. "Sevi, it's me, Gabriella."
"I know. And I'm saying that my name is Severus Snape. Never, ever
call me Sevi again."
"Sevi- I mean Severus- what has gotten into you?" She looked close
to tears.
"Sense. Sense has gotten into me." Every word stung as it left his
mouth. He wished he could hug her and kiss her and comfort her, but he
couldn't. " The sense to realize what a fool I've been to ever think I
loved you. I suggest that from now on, you leave me alone. I don't believe
I could ever love you, a Gryffindor! And a Mudblood at that." He hadn't
said that, had he? God, he hoped he hadn't said that. And yet he knew he
did. He had called his love, the one person he ever really cared for, a
Mudblood. And not only that. No, he wasn't done tearing both of their hearts
out. Now he had to shred them to bits and pieces. "And I never, ever, EVER,
want to see this piece of garbage again." She had given him a ring last
Christmas. It was a silver serpent formed into a circle for the band, with
emeralds as the eyes. Slowly, and painfully, he took the ring off his finger
and threw it at her. The ring fell to the ground.
Tears streamed down her face as she bent down to pick it up, staring
incredulously at it.
"Good-bye, Gabriella."
She did one thing before she turned around and ran away. She took
a step up to him and slapped him. Hard. "Severus Snape- I hate you!" And
then she fled. He put a hand up on his cheek where she had hit him. And
his own tears flowed freely as he sat down on the bench, hung his head
in his hands, and cried and cried and cried.
A single tear fell from Severus's eye as he remembered it. He quickly
wiped it away and looked around at where he was. He was taken back in surprise.
He had ended up behind the bush where he had been on that very night that
Gabriella had left his life. But, he realized with more surprise, there
was someone sitting on the bench on the other side of the bush. And that
someone was crying. Who would be out this late other than he? And why were
they crying? Slowly, carefully, quietly, he crept around the bush. He almost
gasped in surprise.
Was it- could it be? Was it Gabriella? With her
beautiful brown hair? Severus's heart fell when he realized it wasn't Gabriella
at all -how could it be?- but Hermione Granger.
Severus cleared his throat. "Miss Granger?"
The girl looked up, surprised. Then she realized
who she was looking at. "Professor! I-I-I'm sorry! I have a legitimate
excuse for this, I promise! Please, I know I'm in trouble, but-"
Severus raised an eyebrow in wry amusement and out
a hand up to stop the girl. "It seems that you already have enough trouble
on your hands without me adding to it." He said, not unkindly. He felt
a wave of sympathy that was most unlike him for the girl and sat down next
to her on the bench. Pulling a black handkerchief out, he used it to clean
the girl's tear streaked face. "Now," he said, knowing how uncharacteristic
this was for him, "what happened?"
Hermione looked surprised at first. Severus didn't
blame her considering how he usually treated her- and all the students
in general- in class. But then she seemed to think about what had happened
to her and her tears started up again. "Oh, Professor! It was horrible!
He- he-" But that was all she could get out before she gave out a choked
sob.
"Shh! It's OK." Severus said, trying to comfort
the girl. He knew he was going to hate himself in the morning for this.
"Who is 'he'? And what did he do?"
"I can't tell you who he is, but I love him so much.."
"Oh, can I guess then?"
"You probably wouldn't get it."
"We'll see. Hmmm... Let me see. How about... Draco
Malfoy?"
"How'd you know? Is it really that obvious?"
Wait, wait. Granger liked Malfoy? He had just been
kidding! It was meant as a joke to cheer her up. But it was true? "No,
no, I was just randomly guessing," he assured her. "Well, what's wrong
with the fact that you love him?"
Granger just stared at him. "What's wrong? What's
wrong! He's a Slytherin! That's what's wrong! No offense."
"None taken. I think I get your point. It's the
fact that your a Gryffindor and he's a Slytherin, isn't it?"
She nodded. "But that's not it. I mean, we were
handling the Gryffindor, Slytherin thing pretty well, and I don't know
what happened. It's just that tonight he called me aside and he was really
mean and all. He said he should have never even met me, and that he was
sorry he ever laid eyes on me and- and- and he called me a Mudblood!" The
girl started crying again.
Severus handed her his handkerchief and, for lack
of a better thing to do, wrapped his arms around her and hugged her, rocking
back forth, all the while wondering if someone had added something to his
goblet of pumpkin juice at dinner. At the same time he went over the situation,
finding it all too familiar. Lucius must have told his son to tell her
what he Draco did. Lucius had a knack at doing things like that and ruining
people's lives. Severus knew from personal experience. Well, it seemed
he would have to pay Lucius a visit. "Shh!" He tried to comfort the girl
in his arms. (A/N: Hermione would have been shocked and maybe even disgusted
at her Professor's behavior but she was too... emotionally distressed)
"Listen," he said looking at her in the face. "I know you think Draco meant
everything he said, but I think, and with good reason, too, that he was
told by someone, namely his father, to tell you that. If he loved you,
which I'm sure he did, he would have never said that, but his father forced
him to say it."
"But, why would Mr. Malfoy do something like that?
And besides, even if he did tell Draco that, what are Draco and I to do
about him?"
"Oh, he has his reasons. Believe me. I happen to
know him very well. A little too well. As for what to do about him, leave
that up to me. I'll take care of it."
Hermione looked up at him and smiled, while biting
her lower lip. "You would?"
He smiled the tiniest bit. "Yes, I would, under
one condition, though."
The smile left her face. "What?"
"You won't tell anyone- not even Weasley and Potter-
especially not Potter- about tonight."
She smiled again. "What night?"
"Good. Now, get up to your dorm. And don't get caught
on your way there!"
"I won't," the girl promised. She stood up and started
to walk away. She had taken about three steps when she stopped and turned
around. "Professor?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you. Thank you, so much. I never thought..."
She trailed off.
"Never thought what?"
"I guess that you could be so nice."
"Well, get to know your teachers better next time,
Granger, before you go off and make assumptions." Severus's voice was kind.
"I will, Professor. I will. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Hermione."
And then the young girl turned around and walked
away, but not without having her face light up at the fact that she was
called by her first name for a change.
Later, Severus would write Lucius Malfoy and tell him they needed to talk. Later, he would realize what he'd done that night and question his sanity. Later, he would return to his usual fitful sleep filled with visions of his love, Gabriella. But that was later. At the current moment, as Severus sat on he bench under the blanket full of stars, and smiled. He smiled and somehow, just somehow he knew he would sleep well that night. Look, my love, he thought. I 'm getting another chance. I love you so much. He looked up at the stars that looked like his Gabriella's eyes. They were his Gabriella's eyes. And they were looking down upon him and watching out for him. And they saw him, inside and out. They saw every joy, every sorrow, every gain, every loss, every nook, every cranny, and everything in between. And they loved him. Loved every single bit of him. And he loved every single bit of them.
-Fin.
A/N: OK, this was kinda random when it came up, and I had to write it. I do realise that ther might be some parts in here that are very close to other fics so realise if it sounds like your fic, it probably was inspired by your fic. I'm not very good at romance. I've not really experienced it so you understand I'm not very good at writng this. This so did not end up the way I had planned it to. It ended up happyish and I had planned it to be sad. Oh, well. I know Snape is very, very OOC. I should have warned you. Sorry. Anyway, I'm exhausted. It's 2:33 AM. Night all!
Disclaimer: I do not own the HP characters...yadda..yadda...yadda...you know the rest. Oh and you heard what I said. A lot of the flashbacks I was inspired to write from things I've read. Please don't sue me. I wrote this for the fun of writing it. Not the publicity.
Go Review, so I can get better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hugs!