Black-Angel-001: you really don't want to know where this one came from...
Chikara Yuy: SURE THEY DO!
Black-Angel-001: no, they really don't.
Chikara Yuy: we were just wondering what duo's form of cpr would be like...
Black-Angel-001: thank escaflowne episode 11 for this, not us.
Why Duo Maxwell Never Passed Med School
"Okay everyone, get to a dummy and wait for further instruction," a balding man in his late fifties told a large group of adults.
Duo Maxwell moved to stand behind a table where a fairly ugly and oversized doll lay. He wrinkled his nose and made a bored sound. The professor continued once they were settled.
"We will be learning the proper way to perform CPR in the operating room; this will be essential for you since most of the time patients are lost due to heart and lung failure." The man demonstrated. Lacing his fingers together, he put the heel of his bottom hand just below the chest and just above the diaphragm of the dummy he was near. With his arms straight, he began giving five quick thrusts, all the time explaining. Next, he gave five quick, short breaths into the mouth, the head tilted back far enough. Once everyone got the general idea, he allowed him or her to begin.
Duo stared at his dummy, wondering. The more he stared, the more he got the idea into his head that the dummy was a real, live person. Not something made out of rubber or plastic, but a real person, namely Heero Yuy. He panicked.
"Heero! Heero, oh my God, say something! Anything! C'mon!" Duo screamed. Frantically balled his hand into a fist, raised it high and let lose. 'Heero' jumped into the air after the hard contact on the chest. The other med. students stopped and gazed wide-eyed at the crazy boy who stood near them. "LIVE DAMN IT, LIVE!" He continued pounding. Suddenly, he bent over the mouth of the dummy and breathed hard into it. Normally, the eyes aren't supposed to bulge. Well, regrettably, they did in this case. Duo came up, taking in a deep gulp of air. He checked for a pulse. None. "Sweet Jesus Heero! Don't die, you can't die!" Duo again tried to beat life into the lifeless 'Heero'. Now, through all of this, the actual Heero Yuy was watching, very scared for his life. He prayed that Duo never found him in the state of needing CPR or any other medical treatment.
Black-Angel-001: and you now know why duo Maxwell is not a surgeon or a doctor of any kind.
Chikara Yuy: lucky for the other gundam guys ((lauging))
Black-Angel-001: yeah, we're lucky he ain't a real person!
Chikara Yuy: you said it!
Both: ((laugh)) That's all there is, there is no more!
Duo: i wanna be a real boy blue fairy! ((pouts))
Chikara Yuy: awww...not. ((boots duo into a dumpster))
Fin?