1I do not own this series. I am in no way related to it minus the fact that right now I decided to pull something out of my ass and give it for all of you to see.
Characters:
$$hole: real name Li Tien Shoo
La Fawnduh:the name of his Journal/diary/man notebook
Chapter !
The $$hole
Dear La Fawnduh,
It was high time I found something to do. All I usually do is sit around in my big house in the middle of nowhere, doing things everyone else is doing,(watching porn, hitting on girls through the internet, exercising my biceps, making lude long distance calls to strangers with my neighbors cell phone, etc, etc). well earlier this year I decided to do something out of the norm. I stood up, walked over to the door, and went all the way to Tokyo. You know how when you get an impulse you just have to act on it? Well anyways, I jumped into the Nihon no Sui, and with a great thrust rode a wave all the way to shore. That's a lie. I hit my head on a rock within the first few minutes of swimming and was brought into Nihon on a big ass boat that picked me up floating in the middle of no where. I ended up in Osaka, realized I didn't know how to speak Nihongo, and bought a Shin to Nihon Dictionary with the money I inherited from my dead hamster.(he was rich for a hamster. He even felt it was best to let me hang onto his money so he didn't lose it. alright that's a lie too. we were business partners. He would run in his wheel, I would find paying customers to watch, and on the side he would be involved in underground knife fights. It was a pretty sweet gig, until he found out I had been embezzling his money into swordfish steak stock. The turnaround on it would have been amazing had he not demanded his money back. Well he got his money back, right before his little accident. See, somehow, a horses head was slipped into his cage while he was sleeping. It was supposed to scare him, I suspect, but it only crushed him...poor little guy)
About a week later I had read my dictionary and was ready to try my hand at Nihonese. The first place I went was the train station. I was actually living in the train station, because I left my wallet at home. There was a Niponese lady with a big ass and squinty eyes, and all she would say was "doko deska, Osan?" Me, having an extensive knowledge of a language I had learned in a week, figured she was saying "you have a fat chin, sexy." I took my ticket when she wasn't looking and hopped on the Shinkansen east, to the land of Kei Nakai and tasty School girls.
What does this have to do with a bunch of brightly colored 14 year olds and a snobby model you ask? Well, I'll get to that when I have more time to write in you. right now I'm kind of tired, I had a long day, and i still can't find japanese Porn.
Good night La Fawnduh,
LI