It Ends Tonight
"Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all
And all the wants
And all the needs
I don't want to need at all"
"What is this?" Mac asks, holding up a few pieces of paper.
"Did you read the top by any chance?" Stella says sarcastically.
"Yes. Why did you fill these out?"
"I'm resigning."
"Why? I thought you liked it here," he crosses his arms, looking at her. Now that he actually paused from his busy day and looked at her carefully for the first time in weeks, he notices that she doesn't look too good. "You're not sick, are you?"
"No, I'm in good health physically. And I do like it at the lab with all you guys. It's just… what happened last year is still bothering me."
"What Frankie did?"
She nods, "It's still haunting me, and I can't take it anymore."
"Have you gone to a psychologist recently?"
"Yes. She said it would be best for me to move away and start a new life without working in the police department. Because I see something almost everyday that reminds me of the attack, she said it'd be best to get away from that." Stella sighs deeply. "And you haven't exactly been helping."
"You've done well on DV cases. You solved all of them without any problems, minus the first couple."
"Every single woman killed her husband or boyfriend because they were sick of him, and then faked the whole domestic violence thing to get away with murder. There's no one like me out there who truly did it in self defense."
"There are plenty of women out there like you," Mac moves from behind his desk to her side, trying to comfort her.
"Don't try to make up for your lack of help now. I can't deal with this anymore. Consider this my two weeks' notice," she stands up and walks from his office.
"The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow"
Mac stands outside her door, trying to work up the courage to knock. He looks at the ground again before raising his hand. Immediately he hears footsteps inside.
Stella opens the door, "Why are you here?"
"I want to talk."
"Come in," she moves out of his way.
In every part of her apartment, there are boxes half filled with her stuff as she packs to move. "Did I interrupt you?"
"No, I was just watching TV."
He sits down on the couch next to her. "Where are you planning on going?"
"I honestly have no idea. This city has always been my home. And I don't know how I'm going to make money. I've worked with the department since I got out of college."
"You could go back and work narcotics in another city," he offers.
"I don't want to do that again."
"Whatever you decide, I'll write you recommendation. You're a good worker, Stella."
"Thanks. What did you come here for?" she looks curiously at him.
"I don't want to lose you," Mac says.
"But I can't deal with this anymore. He's finally gotten to me, and I can't let it go."
"I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you through this. I should have been making sure you were alright."
"I can't stay here, Mac. It's too painful."
"Who is going to help me now? You're the only one I have ever let in."
"You've taken me for granted. I won't always be there to help you."
"When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight
It ends tonight"
Mac stares at her. "You do know that if you leave, I'm a dead man. You are my rock."
"Sometimes I feel like a rock. You haven't even noticed me the past few months."
"I'll notice when you're not there beside me."
"Only because you can't stand to be alone."
He looks away from her piercing green eyes and doesn't reply immediately. "I do notice you, Stella."
"Not really. Sure, we're still friends, but we used to be a lot closer than we are now," she says. "You were all I had in my life. Now I don't have anything any more."
"What are you talking about? I'm still there for you after a hard day. We still have a strong friendship."
"I don't consider it that. We used to tell each other everything. Did it just slip your mind that you were dating Peyton?"
"No, I just… chose not to tell you."
"Why wouldn't you want your best friend to know you are moving on after Claire?" Stella asks, trying not to let her tears fall.
"I know how you feel about me, and I didn't want to disappoint you," he touches her arm softly.
"I'm not disappointed because you're moving on, just that you couldn't tell me about it."
"I'm sorry, Stel."
"Mac, I – I think our friendship is over. We don't trust each other as much as we used to and don't tell each other everything. I don't believe we really… care about each other as we did before. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to go to bed," she stands, walking him to the door.
"I still care about you, Stella. And I'll miss you. Really," Mac leaves.
Stella leans against the door as she lets the tears fall. Now she is just as lost and confused as she was before she met Mac.
"A falling star
At least I fall alone
I can't explain what you can't explain
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain"
"Stella," Hawkes calls, walking quickly to catch up to her. "Do you know why Mac is interviewing all these people? Are we short handed?"
"No, we're fine at the moment. But you'll need someone next week to help out," she looks down, avoiding him.
"Why? Is someone leaving or taking a break?"
"Yes. I… am resigning."
"Why?"
"Frankie, he's still haunting me. The psychologist told me it'd be for the best to move away and do something that doesn't involve what I do now."
"What'd Mac say about this?" Sheldon follows her to her office.
"He doesn't want me to leave. Our friendship isn't worth anything any more, and he doesn't understand that; it's pathetic what it's grown to," she explains.
"And where exactly are you going?"
She shakes her head, "I have no idea whatsoever."
"Do you have a way to make money?"
"No idea what to do. I've been with the department since I finished college; this is what interests me."
"Write an autobiography. Become rich."
"And who do you think will read about my life?"
"It'd be a great way to warn women of domestic violence. Your experience could help a lot of people to stand up for themselves and get out of dangerous relationships," he sits next to her.
"The whole point is to forget what happened so I can move on with my life."
"Do you have to leave this city to do this?" he asks.
She thinks, "I guess not."
"Stay here with us. Move to a new area of town. Take some time off to recover and maybe come back to work."
"The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow"
"Excuse me," a woman says to Stella as she walks down the hall. "Can you tell me how to get to Detective Taylor's office?"
"Sure," Stella gives her a small smile. "Turn right here, and at the next intersection make a left. His office is the first door on the right."
"Thank you."
"Who was that?" Lindsay approaches her with the DNA results.
"I'm not sure. Hawkes says Mac's interviewing people for a job; maybe that's why she's meeting him."
"Do we need another CSI?"
Stella scans over the results, "Yes."
"Did he talk to you about it?"
"No. We're through with each other."
"What?!"
"I said Mac and I are through; we aren't friends any more."
"Why? What the hell happened?" Lindsay practically screams.
"We don't talk, tell each other things, and barely notice each other."
"Won't that make it hard to work together?"
"Nope."
"Why?"
"What's with all the questions? Did you turn into Danny?" Stella asks.
"I'm offended."
"It won't be hard because I'm leaving. I can't deal with Frankie any more. It's gotten to me because my best friend left me to deal with it by myself. He offered no help at all so the psychologist told me to move and quit my job."
"When's your last day?"
"Wednesday."
"We're going to have a going away party."
"No, Lindsay," Stella pleads futilely.
"When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight
It ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight
It ends tonight"
"I'm sorry, Stella, but something came up. I've got to go," Mac hugs her quickly. "Take care of yourself.
"Bye, Mac."
The others continue to snack as he leaves. "What's wrong with him?" Flack asks.
"Said something came up. He probably couldn't stand to see me leave."
"Know what you're doing yet?"
"Well, I'm just moving elsewhere in the city. What I'll do, I don't know. Maybe I'll take a few months off, get over last year, and possibly come back. Sheldon says I should write a book." Stella joins them on the couch with a plate of food.
"If you need anything, call one of us. We'll help you through," Hawkes assures.
"You should, Stel. A lot of women could learn from your experience, and maybe we could eventually stop domestic violence."
"It could also cause more women to kill their husbands and try to get away with self defense like so many have in the past year," Stella says. "Well, I should get going. The moving truck is coming early tomorrow."
"We'll miss you, Stel," Danny hugs her.
"Maybe we can all still go out once in a while and keep our friendship," Don kisses her cheek.
"We'll help you any way we can if you ask," Sheldon kisses her other cheek.
"How can you leave us?" Lindsay says in tears. "Keep in touch. Good luck."
"Thank you all so much," Stella says, crying now too. "I'll miss you."
They wave goodbye as she leaves for the last time.
"Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know"
Stella sits on her couch in her new apartment, a thick notebook on her lap, pen in hand. After two week of doing nothing, she decides to start her project. Even though it probably wouldn't get published, she was going to write a book of her experience. Who knows, it may help her get over the incident.
Her cell phone, on the coffee table in front of the couch, vibrates. Stella picks it up and, seeing Mac's number, throws it across the room.
Much to her dismay, it rings again five minutes later. She ignores it and begins writing. Every five minutes, the phone goes off. As it goes off a fifth time, she looks at it as though it was Mac in person, angry.
As she continues writing her story, Stella finds it gets easier to let her anger and fear of Frankie out. She hates to admit it, but Hawkes' suggestion was actually helping her a lot. Maybe someone would publish it, and the world could know about her.
The phone rings again, and she gets up to pick it up off the floor. Mac again. This time she answers it, "Leave me alone." She turns it off, angry again.
Stella continues writing. Fifteen minutes later, someone knocks on her door. She couldn't ignore this and goes to answer it.
"What are you doing here?"
"I want to invite you to lunch tomorrow and had to do it in person because you so rudely wouldn't answer your phone and turned it off," Mac says, moving around nervously.
"How'd you know where I live?"
"I have my sources."
She watches his blue eyes move around, observing his surroundings. "Why do you want to have lunch?"
"I can't explain. Just meet me outside the lab at noon tomorrow. If you don't, I'll be forced to hunt you down," he walks to the elevator.
Stella watches him leave, curious, yet still mad at him.
"When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight
It ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight
It ends"
"What's that?" Mac motions to her notebook sitting on her bed stand. "Keep a diary?"
"No. Sheldon told me I should write a book to educate women about domestic violence. That'll never be published, but it's helped me to finally share it, in a way."
They had finished lunch, and he suggested they go somewhere a little more private to talk. She offered her apartment since his was out of the way.
"Would you like a drink?" she asks, finishing the tour in the living room.
"I'm fine." They both sit on the couch. "Stel, my life is miserable without you in it. I need your friendship to keep me going."
"I've kind of missed you too," she admits.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you what has been going on with me. I didn't realize how distant we were becoming."
"It's okay."
"I should have realized you needed me after Frankie came after you. God, I'm such an idiot," Mac puts his head in his hands.
"No, you aren't," she touches his back softly. "I should've been strong enough to admit I needed help."
"Can we be friends again?"
"Yes. We can't keep things from each other any more. If we do that, we'll know we actually see each other, not just take it for granted the other will always be there."
"The guys told me your plans. Do you think you might come back?" he asks. "I really miss seeing you everyday."
"I might in a few months. If everything goes okay and Frankie doesn't bother me much, I'll probably come back."
"There'll always be a place for you. I should get back."
"I'll call you soon, and we can make arrangements for lunch next week."
"When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight
It ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight
It ends tonight"
Stella walks down the halls of the lab to Mac's office, three months since she left. She knocks on the door frame, "Hey."
He looks up and smiles, "Did I miss a lunch date?"
"Wouldn't Peyton be jealous of you going out on a date with another woman for lunch?" she sits opposite him.
"We broke up."
"When?"
"Yesterday. She isn't too fond of you for some reason." Mac puts his paperwork aside. "Did you come here just to visit?"
"No. Actually, I didn't see anyone on the way in. I came to ask you if I could have my job back."
"Yeah. Come in tomorrow morning, eight o'clock sharp. I'll do the paperwork this afternoon."
"Thanks you," she kisses his cheek quickly, and he turns red.
"Stella, what are you doing here?" Lindsay bursts in.
"I got my job back," she hugs the younger woman. "We'll have to catch up on gossip later."
"I frown upon your gossip," he watches them.
"You're not frowning," Stella points out. "I'm going home. See you all tomorrow morning. And tell Sheldon I've started my book."
On the way out, she runs into the other three guys. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"You came back?"
She nods.
Their lives went back to normal when she came back to work. Well, as normal as it was before.
Stella and Mac's friendship remained strong for a year after, and then they decided to become more than just friends.
"Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight"
A/N: The All American Rejects. This is one of my favorite songs, so I just had to make a story out of it. I'm still working on an idea using my favorite song, "Superman/It's Not Easy to be Me", by Five for Fighting. It might be a while before I get that one done. Hm... I just finished typing the last few chapters of the Silly Games sequel's sequel. I've got two other songfic things written, and I'm in the beginning-middle-ish of two stories. And I came up with another idea at the bus stop this morning... except I can't remember it. Darn... whatever it was, I thought it could make a funny story. I can't wait for NY tomorrow. She tells him! Wonder how Mac'll react; he can't get mad at her when she might get/have HIV. And Sid gets in trouble/hurt. Anyway, I watched that movie thing on Lifetime with Claire Forlani (Peyton) in it. It was pretty good, so I guess I don't excactly hate her... just the fact that she's dating Stella's Mac. She had a Southern accent; I thought she was British. My mom said people can change their accents... okay. You know those orange cone things construction people have or, in this case, phone companies and such to put around their truck? The company forgot two of them by our house, so I stole them. Wow, I ramble on about such random things. I hope you enjoyed the story. Please review.