I'm extremely new to Bleach and I'm sure I broke a few rules. Maybe a lot. EXCUSE them. This is just random fun, okay? Take nothing seriously. It's just I love Kon-he makes me crack up. I wanted to play with the idea of Neku and Ichigo getting mixed up as they both have orange hair and are of the age of fifteen. Also their worlds are both realistic (Japan) and play with the idea of Reapers. Maybe they should mix some more…we'll see if I can conjure something decent up in the future…I'm still new….
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Kon sighed as he strolled through Shibuya's streets; everyone around him was so busy shopping and whatnot that no one took notice of the small lion-like plushie walking on its own. He made an annoyed face. All the trouble Ichigo went through just to drag him to this weird city and after all that it turned out Ichigo didn't need him after all. The red-headed fifteen year-old's mission in Shibuya was to find out why there was so many souls wondering about on a frequent basis and why with all the wondering souls a Hollow had never shown up. Shibuya was defiantly strange and suspicious…While Ichigo was off doing his reaper thing Kon was left alone as Ichigo had decided to just hide his unconscious body.
Suddenly a cosplayer caught Kon's attention. She was a teen dressed in a Lolita fashion. The short purple and black dress hugged her rather large chest with lace covered in cute bows and buttons. Kon practically got ready to glomp her but stopped him-self as he saw another group of cosplaying girls walk by. He squalled excitedly as he realized he just found his idea district. Maybe Shibuya wasn't so bad after all!
If only he could join in the fun! But he didn't want to go up to another girl while inside a small plushie's body. Last time he did was with Ichigo's younger sister and he ended up running for his life in a dress and having Ichigo forcefully pull a glued on flower from his ear-ouch…That was not going to happen again! If only he could find where Ichigo hid his body and then Kon could walk around in it…Ichigo didn't have to know and it wasn't like anyone in Shibuya would recognize him. He'd be able to do whatever he wanted!
He scanned the crowd as he ran around searching. When he saw a teen slumped on a bench who had bright orange hair he jumped on him. Intoxicated with the idea of hanging out with girls he didn't realize this fifteen year old red head was not Ichigo.
Neku woke up with a start as the small thing flew towards his face and somehow ejected a small pill like object into his mouth. Neku started choking as the plush landed face down on the concrete. Beat noticing his friend choking started beating Neku on the back. His hand slammed hard repeatedly as he shouted, "you all 'ight man? Come on, pull yourself together." Neku waved his arms around trying to get Beat to stop hitting him.
Finally he swallowed the pill with a loud gulp. He started to shout at Beat when suddenly he was overwhelmed with a funny feeling as his spirit departed from his body in a matter of seconds. Neku stood behind himself with a WTF?! expression on his face. Was this some sick UG joke by Joshua? Why was he standing there invisible to everyone else while his physical body was sitting on the bench?
Kon jumped up yelling, "Shibuyian girls, here I come!" People around him stared. Beat made a puzzled expression rubbing his head. The spirit Neku's jaw dropped.
"You 'ight, man?" Beat asked.
Kon in Neku's body smiled, "Never been better in my life, stranger! Now if you excuse me I have boobies to find!"
Beat blushed. After a moment he shook his head dumbfounded and declared, "I'm down with that! 'Bout time you embraced the finer things in life! I know jus' ta place. "
"Let's go m' bro!"
Seeing his body say such things and smile so much was too much for him. The real Neku fainted.
Meanwhile seeing Neku leave off with Beat in a hurry Shiki rushed from the café with their drinks that she had been ordering when the switch occurred. "Guys! Where you going?!" she shouted. She then noticed the plushie on the ground.
"Awwwww," she cued picking it up. "I betcha you'll make the cutest pair for Mr. Mew…I'll call you…Mrs. Mew."
After she quickly stuffed the lion in her backpack she chased after the two boys again. Once she caught up with them and pulled on Neku's shirt, they all stopped running. Kon spun around to do a quick look over of the new girl. She really didn't have any boobs but she did have perfect everything else. Nice legs. Kon smiled, "well hello there, babe."
Shiki's dropped her jaw and Beat shrugged his shoulders in response mouthing, 'I don't know what's going on either.'
She laughed nervously as she handed him a cup, "Um, here's your drink."
Realizing the girl was with the other kid and they were friends Kon reached for the drink. Upon doing so he realized two things. One: his hand was smaller than he was expecting as was his arms and body. He was bony. Two: The clothes he was wearing were loose-didn't Ichigo like wearing tight fitting clothes? A feeling of dread and realization struck him as he sipped the pop down. He wasn't in Ichigo's body...He looked around expecting to see the spirit of the body around but he found none.
'Oh well,' he thought to himself, 'It'll all get sorted out once I find that red-head, till then a little fun won't hurt.'
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Neku moaned as he got to his feet. He had to go after his body and find a way to get back inside it! But where would he find himself…He facepalmed. This whole situation was utterly bizarre. If he saw Joshua around he would be sure to show him so with a slug to his face. Neku was done with his games. He wasn't in the mood for another one-especially when it involved his new friends. The way his body had acted…the imposter wouldn't get away with it. The body stealer had to be stopped.
He started running. Looking left and right he desperately tried to catch sight of his red hair mixed in the crowd of mostly browns and blacks or bleached even. He didn't see it at first but instead heard his voice. Surrounded by girls his body hollered and kissed causing girls to squeal. Shiki was in the center along with Beat who was showing off his skateboard tricks to a few of the girls. Suddenly his body reached down and kissed Shiki, she laughed nervously pushing him away while giggling. Seeing this sight that felt like a horror movie to Neku his face went red with embarrassment and anger.
"Hey! You!" He screamed. His body looked up with an 'uh-oh' look on his face and smiled innocently. He wasn't quite ready to pass up this opportunity yet.
"Sorry my lil' lambs but I gotta run!" he called as he began dashing away. Girls cried out. Neku cringed. This was a nightmare from Hell. He chased after the imposter with a long line of curses. The figure was surprisingly fast, Neku couldn't keep up. The thief jumped an extremely high jump that was completely inhuman, to the top a building among crowded billboards loosing Neku .
"ARRGGG! WHAT THE HE-" Neku's desperate shout was interrupted when he ran into someone.
"Uf!"
He sat on the ground rubbing his head where he had collided into the other figure.
"Sorry about that," the guy with orange hair said as they glanced at him.
Neku shook his head, "wait a minute…you can see me?"
The teen in front of him nodded as he stood up. His eyebrows were furrowed making Neku think he was angry or something but the sound of his voice said otherwise. "Yeah, I can see spirits. By the way I'm Ichigo Kurosaki. I work as a Soul Reaper."
'For some strange reason…this spirit boy doesn't have a chain on him…'
"Name's Neku Sakuraba. You said you see… "Spirits"? I'm not dead though. Wait-what? What are you really supposed to be? You in Joshua's Reaper Game and on some retarded cosplay mission or something?" Neku asked getting a good look at the guy's getup. It was black traditional wear with a ridiculous sized sword. The sword had to be as long as he was, Neku thought.
Ichigo raised his eye brow. "Reapers Game?"
And so Neku explained and as he did the strange guy nodded his head as if Neku was confirming certain issues to him. Once through his explanation of the Reapers Game In a Nutshell Ichigo sighed, "This whole game thing sounds crazy but it would explain the weird stuff I've been seeing walking around…As for you. You say you were switched out of your body and are in fact not dead?"
"Yes! " Neku exclaimed glad that someone could see him who appeared to be able to help him, "This is going to sound insane but this stuffed animal or something attacked me and next thing I know they're running around in my body doing horrible things to my friends!" Neku grimaced just thinking about it.
Ichigo's face soured. "I know exactly what you're going through right now-the first time he went in my body he completely embarrassed me and it was at school. The little prick must have mistook you for me and decided to go on another spree. Oh, when I get my hands on him I'll wring his little neck!"
"Wait," Neku cried. "He's in my body! Wait till we switch before you do!"
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"Why do I have to be the one to dress in drag?" Neku growled holding the dress up.
"Because he'll recognize my face right off the bat," Ichigo hissed. Kon was always bringing up the fact Ichigo always kept his eyebrows furrowed… Ichigo continued "It's not a big deal-It's not like anyone can see you."
Neku groaned. He had heard that one before. He distastefully put the horrid dress on and huge hat to conceal his hair. Ichigo had figured baiting Kon would be the best way to get him away from the crowd of girls so Neku could switch and both boys could beat the stuffing out of him.
"Alright," Neku sighed, "Let's get this over with quickly."
"Great, now see where they are? Stand right at the entrance to the alley. He'll probably notice you right away and attempt to approach you. When he does-lead him into the alley. I'll be waiting there."
"Right."
Ichigo nodded but then suddenly smacked his hand on his head. "Crap! I just remembered we'll need his plushie body! Do you remember where it is?"
Neku took a moment to think...he had been by a café because they had gotten thirsty…"I think so. Follow me."
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"HOW DO GIRLS WEAR THIS CRAP!? My feet are KILLING me!" Neku yelled as they ran through Shibuya's streets.
"Quit your wining." Ichigo suddenly skidded to a stop causing Neku to bump into him.
"What was that for, you ass-"
Ichigo swung his blade around. "I sense a strong spirit. A strong one-it's confusing me."
Neku looked ahead and caught sight of Joshua in the distance. "Oh." He pushed Ichigo forward screaming "GO NOW!" 'I don't want Josh to see me like this! Anything but a freaking dress!'
"Who is that guy? Do you know him?" Ichigo asked pushing Neku's hand off him.
"It's that Joshua-the composer of the Reapers Game. NOW SHUT UP AND GO!" Neku pushed against him again.
Ichigo shoved Neku back and held up his fist. "Don't boss me around!"
"Arg!"
"Something wrong? Dear Neku…"
It was already too late. Neku slowly turned around facing the strange purpled-eyed Composer, his face turning beat red. "Um…nothing…Move along."
"I like the getup. The dress is most charming."
Neku sighed annoyed. He had a feeling he would never hear the end of this… Then the Composer smiled showing his perfect teeth as he looked at Ichigo. "Dear Soul Reaper I am most curious what you are doing in my Shibuya with my dear friend."
"I'm not your dear friend!"
Ichigo smirked. "Your Shibuya, huh? I came here simply to do some research. Your dear friend here was just showing me the ropes of this...UG Shibuya. I'll be on my way as soon as I return his soul to his body."
"I'm not his dear friend!"
"See that you do." Joshua smiled again. "I'd hate for Neku to stay a soul…Especially in such beautiful attire, and one more thing: please refrain from coming to the UG, Soul Reaper. Your kind is not needed here." He waved as he disappeared out of thin air.
Neku sighed. That. Was. Horrible.
"NOW GO BEOFRE SOMETHING ELSE TERRIBLE HAPPENS! DAMN IT!"
Once reaching the café Neku groaned, "The plushie's not here!"
Shiki might have grabbed it…Neku sighed. She did not need another Piggy…Why did she always think plushies were so cute when the demented things would seriously glare at him?
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"Dear little lamb," Kon said soothingly as he kissed Shiki's hand. She looked down, her face looked kinda sad.
"What's wrong?" Kon inquired.
"You're acting funny, Neku. It's not like you…"
"I apologize…Some changes are for the better-perhaps it is your beauty that changes me" Kon then leaned in and whispered something in her ears. Her face went red.
Kon sat up strait smiling. "I'd love to hear your answ-" He suddenly saw a figure in a charming dress near a building not too far from the bench they were sitting at. Curiosity got the best of him. "Hang on dear, I'll be right back."
As he left the disappointed girl to chase after the new one he did not notice Ichigo slip behind the bench and carefully grab the yellowish-orange plushie from it. Neither did Shiki notice the plushie's disapeance.
"Why hello there!"
Neku's fist sailed through his body's face. Kon fell to the ground crying, "What did I ever do to you!?" Neku ripped the dress off revealing his normal clothes and grabbed Kon by his collar. "You switched with the wrong person you stupid plushie!"
"Neku! Wait!" Ichigo cried as he waved the lion around "Don't forget you'll feel that punch when you switch back."
"Then let's hurry up and switch!"
Neku held the body down as Ichigo used something to get the pill out. Once he did the body went limp. "Okay, I'll help you with the next step," he said.
Once Neku was back in his visible body and the pill back in the plushie both boys glared at Kon. The plushie cowered, trembling in fear.
"Now now, Ichi…It was an accident. I apologize…um Neko was it? Heh, you're a cat like me kinda…let's put this behind us…"
Neku rubbed his red cheek from where he had been slugged by his own fist. "Hey Soul Reaper, I call dibs on ripping his stuffing out."
"Go ahead weird spirit boy."
"With pleasure."
Then they were upon him.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH"
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"What happened to your face?" Shiki asked later that evening. Beat had found Rhyme and took her home because it had gotten late thus leaving the two of them, Neku and Shiki, alone.
"Oh nothing," stated Neku who was wondering how much damage control had to be done seeing as how the genius Soul Reaper was not able to himself suppress everyone who had been involved's memories. His friend who could was apparently away right now and some sly guy in sandals and a hat said it would be "alright" to leave it be. The strange group had left Shibuya soon after carrying the defeated plushie with them. Neku was glad they were gone.
He looked back at Shiki. She was scanning different store windows. "It's a shame I couldn't find that Mrs. Mew…" she said sadly, "I wonder if I can find another one…or make it myself."
Neku grimaced, "Please don't. I don't need another Piggy."
She hissed, "How many times do I have to tell you he's not a pig! He's a kitty!"
They both chuckled to themselves.
"So about earlier…" he sighed.
She brushed her fingers through her hair. "Yeah, you acted a little funny but after thinking about it…I decided to say yes."
"Huh?"
"I'd love to go out with you…and I could totally make us some clothes so we could match and then I could make you your own plushie…like Mrs. Mew and it'd be really cute!"
Neku wanted to scream.
'AH! My world's totally over!'