"So, finally all I did was I walked over to Lexington and took the subway down to Grand Central Station. My bags were there and all, and I figured I'd sleep in that crazy waiting room where all the benches are. So that's what I did."
Around three O'clock in the morning, this guy came and woke me up. He said that the train was about to leave and that I should get moving if I needed to catch it. I told him that it wasn't my train and to let me sleep a bit more. He said I couldn't sleep there. It was illegal. Illegal my ass. He just felt like making me move.
That's something I just can't stand. When people think that they can tell you what to do when they don't even know you. I mean, it's not like I knew the guy. It's not like he was trying to warn me the cops were gonna arrest me for it or something. He was just some guy in a conductor's outfit telling me to move. It really drives me insane. It really does.
I sat up and told him I didn't care what the police did, I was gonna sleep until noon if I wanted. The guy just looked at me, then at his pocket watch, and then back at me. After like a year, the guy sat down and told me his name was Chris.
That's another thing I can't stand. People with stupid names. Todd is the stupidest name of all but Chris is up in my top ten worst names. I almost felt bad for the guy. I mean, it's not his fault that he has a stupid name. It's the parents. Parents can be like that sometimes. Hell, I hated Phoebe's name for while but then it kinda grew on me, you know. Sometimes it takes awhile to really get used to someone's name. Some names are like that, but not Chris. Its either you like it or you don't.
He asked me what I was doing there and if I had a name. I told him my name was Rudolf Schmidt. That's a name that I really like. Rudolf Schmidt. That's a great name. It's a good name to use when you don't want people to know your real name. Yeah, it doesn't sound real but if they think about it at all, they won't ask you about it because they don't want to insult you. That's why I used it when I talk to Ernie Morrow's mom. I knew she wouldn't ask about it.
Then, and you'll love this, I told him I was a homeless kid. I told him I had just taken a train in from Florida and that I wasn't used to the cold. I told him that I had the money to stay in a hotel but I wanted to sleep outdoors to get used to the cold. He stood up and told me that he would try to do something about getting the heat turned on for awhile so that we didn't freeze while we talked. He tipped that phony little conductors hat of his and walked away.
Despite his name, the guy had already grown on me. Mostly because I knew he lied about being a conductor. If he had been a real conductor, we would have already left on the train he warned me about. I like people who do that. He reminded me of this kid back in Elkton Hills, Fred Turner. I didn't like Fred when I first met him either. Fred would have to be my third least favorite names. Right behind Todd and Bob. They're such phony names. Anyway this kid Fred once told his English teacher that he was a foreign exchange student when he first arrived. He had on this scarf and hat that looked all Russian and he put on this Swedish accent. He told them he was from Sweden. That really got me. Then the teacher asked him why he had a Russian hat if he was from Sweden. Fred told him that he was originally from Sweden but that he had done to Russia for a foreign exchange program before coming here. I almost died laughing. The teacher seemed to believe him though and went on with his class. Fred ended up being the class clown once the teacher realized he was actually from California.
The guy came back and told me that they wouldn't turn on the heat because it would waste too much money and people shouldn't be there long enough to be cold anyway. That's bullshit. They're just too cheap to turn on the heat. I hate cheap people. I really do. Especially when they won't do something to help you. They're too stuck up to spend just a little money to help you out. What's a dollar or two if it's gonna make that person remember how nice and warm their home is and then maybe they're take the train home or something.
We sat there not talking for while, and then he started telling me about how this guy on the train wanted to use the bathroom when someone was in there. He went into the ladies room and wouldn't come out until they brought him more paper towels. I knew he was lying because he wanted to keep his conductor image but I went along with it anyway. It was a funny story even if it was made up.
We sat in silence for a couple more minutes before I finally told him about Mr. Antolini and how I thought he might be a flit. I told him about everything that happened and how he had taken me in. And then how he woke me up stroking my head. Chris told me he thought it was just maybe a little hung over and that he probably wasn't. He said that he would have done more than rub my head a few times. I went along with it. I really didn't feel like talking much. Everything this guy said was depressing me.
I realized then that all he was doing was being a shrink to me. He started to ask me how I felt about Mr. Antolini but I cut him off. I told him to go the hell away and leave me alone. I knew he just wanted to help but I couldn't stand this guy any more. He stood up and said goodbye and went into the train office. So I went back to sleep. I knew he wouldn't tell anyone about me.
"I only slept till around nine o'clock because a million people started coming in the waiting room and I had to take my feet down…."