AN - IMPORTANT!!!!!! This is really different and the most important thing to remember is that it's an R/M S/S fic so you know how those go...as in they're obviously EVENTUALLY going to end up together. So just keep an open mind and it might be abit confusing at first, but it will make sense. Thanks!
-Sarah and Edrug :D
DISCLAIMER - I own none of it.
Chapter 1: The Good Times 'Gonna Come
June 1, 2007
Marissa's birthday had passed without any traumatic events, in fact, that's what the whole year had been like. Sure there were little one-hour fights, but nothing major. Ryan and Seth were in the kitchen, deciding what to have for breakfast.
"Bagels?" Seth grinned at Ryan.
"Bagels." Ryan said in response.
"And I am here to smear!" Sandy grinned, walking into the kitchen, swiping the bagel from Seth's hands.
"Dad! How I am supposed to learn the beautiful art of the smear if you never let me do my own bagel?" Seth said to Sandy.
"Oh, one day my son; one day." Sandy grinned. Ryan smiled at the interaction between Sandy and Seth; it was what family breakfasts were supposed to be. The phone started ringing. Kirsten appeared from around the corner and grabbed it.
"Hello?" Kirsten said into the phone, "Yes, he's right here. Would you like to speak with him?" she asked the person on the other end. She walked over and handed the cordless phone to Ryan. She mouthed, "Your mother"
"Hello?" Ryan said nervously.
"Ryan?" Dawn said chirpily.
"Yeah?"
"I have some good news!" she squealed, "Apparently, I'm allowed to get out of the centre now, and you're allowed to move in with me!!"
Ryan froze, "Huh?" he said quietly.
"We're going to Wisconsin!!" she screamed excitedly.
—————
Ryan left. He left two weeks after Marissa's birthday. He left quickly; suddenly. Sandy drove him to the airport. Dawn was waiting there. Luckily he managed to leave on good terms with everyone. Everyone was still upset though, he had come into their lives and every single one of them had fallen in love with him. They knew they would try to keep in touch, yet Ryan knew that didn't always go as planned. Happy Birthday Marissa.
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FIVE YEARS LATER
School; college. Marissa hated it, so did her boyfriend. He currently was squeezing her hand, walking beside her, not at all struggling to make conversation. If someone had asked her, when she was fourteen, do you know who you're going to end up with when you're in college? She would have said Ryan, but that didn't happen. Instead, she was on her way to the first day of college with Seth Cohen attached to her hand. That definitely was not what she predicted. As they turned the corner, they started walking by an enormous elementary school. In the distance, Marissa could see two girls that looked to be about four. They were both wearing the same shirt; it was purple with a sequined butterfly sewn on. They were yelling at each other, but as soon as the bell rang, one grabbed the other's hand and started to lead her towards the entrance.
When Marissa saw this she immediately thought of one person; Summer. They haven't spoken to each other for over two years and yet she still considers her as her best friend. She sometimes wonders how she could let something like this happen but, it's too late now, it's just been to long.
FLASHBACK
"You're so stupid you know that!!!" Summer screamed at Marissa.
"I'm stupid? Come on!!" Marissa yelled back. "This is all your fault!" "My fault?! You're the one who pushed him away!!" "And you were the first one to grab him!!" Summer turned away from Marissa, trying to hide the tears that were coming to her eyes. Marissa could see that she was about to crack, so she decided that she shouldn't be so harsh. "Look Sum, I'm really sorry but after Ryan left I couldn't really talk to anyone anymore and well one day me and Seth were just talking and it turned out that he was going through the exact same thing I was" Marissa pleaded, she hated fighting with Summer. "That didn't mean you had to kiss him!!!!!" Summer said now yelling. "Uhh, about that... it was a mistake, I swear!" "Well I don't care! I DON'T CARE IF YOU FELL DOWN THE STAIRS AND YOUR FACE ACCIDENTALLY FELL ON HIS OR IF YOU WERE SLEEP WALKING AND THOUGHT HE WAS RYAN!! YOU STILL DID IT AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS!" Summer replied completely out of breath. Marissa was now scared, she knew she just cornered herself into a rage blackout. "SAY SOMETHING!" Summer demanded now shaking a little, she had never been this mad before. "I'm sorry?" Marissa said, still nervous. "Shut up, no your not" "Ok fine I take that back, when I was crying everyday about Ryan you weren't there, and when you did decide to help you told me 'time heals everything.' What the hell was that? So after that you wonder why I run to Seth? Hmmmm lets see maybe it's because you suck at being a friend. All you care is about shopping and what the latest trends are and… and… how you're going to do you're hair today! So if your going to say its my fault then HA! Because you did this to yourself!" Marissa said proudly. "GET OUT!" Summer demanded. "Aww look someone knows they're wrong" Marissa laughed "No, actually, I think if I look at your face for any longer I'm going to puke!" "Oh, really? So I'll just stay here a little longer," "That's real nice Marissa!! Saying all this about being a bad friend, and all," Summer said angrily, "Now you actually are going to make me puke, 'cause you're just that disgusting!" "'Kay, you know what? I'm not gonna stand here and repeat this over and over!" Marissa stormed out of the room. "FINALLY YOU REALIZED!!" Summer yelled after her.
END FLASHBACK
"You ok?" Seth said, seeing how she'd been silent the whole walk here.
"Oh... yeah... I'm, I'm fine" Marissa said getting out of her deep thought.
"Ok well let's do something after class, how about lunch? I could sure go for some pudding right about now" Seth smiled just thinking about it.
"Mmmm that sounds good. You have really made me a fan" Marissa giggled.
"What can I say" Seth replied while looking down at his watch.
"I'm about to be late, so see you after class" Seth gave her a quick peck on the lips then jogged off to the art wing of the building.
Marissa's next class didn't start for another 20 minutes so she took a seat on a bench that was right in the middle of the courtyard. She pulled out a text book and tried to get a few extra minutes of studding in before her big test. Five minutes had passed and she realized that she'd only read one paragraph. She knew that she was getting nowhere so, once again she was brought back to her thoughts.
Why couldn't she have just apologized? Summer would probably be here right now and she wouldn't be in a relationship that was for the sole purpose of not being lonely. Both of them knew what they had would never be love but, for right now it was fun. Yeah, she thought. Its fun, nothing more, nothing less. Seth always knew how to make her laugh, and sometimes they would just sit and watch people and Seth would be the commentary. She loved that. He could always point out the weirdest things about people, she laughed to herself when she just thought about some of things he'd said. The more she thought about him the more she wondered if it could ever be love. Once again she reassured herself that it couldn't. She had only loved one person and that was along time ago. It was so long that she almost forgot what love is. Oh god, she thought. Every time she had this talk with herself it always brought her back to one place; Ryan. She wondered what he was doing righ-
"RINGGGGGGG" she looked down at her cell phone and realized it was the alarm she had set to tell her that she had five minutes to get to class. She quickly turned it off and looked down at her text book,
"So much for studding" she told herself. She quickly put her things in her bag and headed off to class. How was she suppost to take a test now?
-----
Tap.
"Why?" Summer said loudly into the phone.
Tap, tap, tap.
"She can't tell the difference."
Tap, tap, tap, tap.
"Dad!! She's four! You think the fact that we can't find her certain bear is important?"
Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.
"Ok, fine tell Gloria and the little monster I say hi,"
Crack. "Stupid pencil" Summer mumbled to herself, throwing the split pencil to the side, "Stupid bears. Stupid four year olds. Stupid Marissa. Stupid Seth. Stupid. Stupid everything."
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In class, Summer was trying to pay attention to the professor at the front of the lecture hall. She had her laptop on the table, absentmindedly typing what the professor said. Suddenly an Instant Message alert appeared on the screen, Summer jumped a little, but luckily no one noticed. The message was from her dad. "Neil says: Look at this great picture of the whole family!" and underneath there was a picture of Neil and Gloria standing and Summer squatted down next to a small child. The small child was Neil and Gloria's daughter, Lily. Lily was four and she loved Summer. Summer loved the name Lily, she actually picked it out. She picked it out because the flower Lily's grew in the summer. She loved being creative like that but most of all that's what her dad loved about her. Summer looked at the time on her laptop and realized that there was only five minutes left of class so, she better pay attention.
"So, that's your project and its due next week" Her professor said loudly.
'CRAP! I missed what the project was' Summer thought to herself. She figured she could just ask someone else though.
"RINGGGGG RINGGG" The bell signalled all the students to leave. Summer quickly packed her things and walked to the parking lot so she could drive home. When she got in her car her phone started to ring and the name Jason appeared across the screen.
"Hello?" Summer said, pressing 'talk.'
"Hey baby, what are you doing?" Jason replied sweetly
"Nothing, just driving home to go help my dad find Lily's stupid bear"
"Want some help?"
"Actually, how about you just come over after I put her down. We can have a little time to ourselves…" Summer laughed.
"And what do you plan we do with that 'little time to ourselves?'" Jason said in his deeper voice.
"I meant that we could watch the Valley but I'm home now so, come over in about an hour" Summer answered.
"Alright, love you"
"Uh… you too" Summer said quickly and hung up. She hated when he did that. They had only been going out for two weeks and let me tell you, it was anything but love. Summer had only really loved one person and she pushed him away. Ever since then no relationship she had was serious, they were never longer than a month because she couldn't let herself get attached.
Summer walked into her house and saw her dad standing there with a worried look on his face.
"Dad, chill out, I don't think I've ever seen someone get this stressed out about a bear" Summer said trying to lighten the mood.
"Yeah? Well she's been screaming for and hour now so unless you want to hear that for the rest of the day you better help" Neil said while frantically searching though a cabinet.
"Ok I'll go check in her room" Summer yelled while running up the stairs. Once she got in her room she saw Lily sitting in the corner, screaming. Summer immediately walked up to her.
"Hey girly, what's wrong?" Summer said sweetly.
"AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHH" Lily cried even louder
"Can you not find you're bear?" Summer asked while pushing some brown hair off Lily's face.
"Mmmm hmmmm" Lily sniffled.
"Well, I'm going to start looking for her want to help?" Summer asked trying to get her to stop crying.
"Yeah…" Lily said softly. Summer knew it couldn't be to far away considering that she just saw her with it a few hours ago. She decided to start looking in all the obvious places first; In the closet, on her twin bed, in her pink hamper. Out of nowhere she heard Lily scream.
"FOUND IT!" Lily rolled out from under the bed with the bear in her hands.
"OK, so can we take a nap now?" Summer pleaded.
"No! I'm not tired"
"Well, if you take a nap I'll let you have ice cream after dinner tonight" Summer knew she would go for this.
"Mom and Dad already said I could have that if I stopped crying" Lily smirked.
"What if I promise that I'll let you play with Princess Sparkle tonight…" Summer hoped she would buy this one instead.
"Really??" Summer watched Lily's face light up.
"Yep, now you better hurry up and take that nap before I take back my offer" Summer said. Lily jumped into bed and had her bear clutched to her chest.
"Love you sis" Lily said sweetly
"Love you too" Summer smiled. She went downstairs to get a glass of water when she looked at the clock. She realized that Jason wouldn't be over for a while so she decided to go back upstairs and watch Lily sleep. She always looked so peaceful and happy. Summer missed having everything be that simple, when she could be bribed with a bowl of ice cream or a toy horse. When she arrived at Lily's door she saw her sleeping soundly. She looked down on the floor and saw the bear that she just spent a half an hour looking for. She knew Lily would wake up if she didn't have it sleeping with her so she bent down and picked it up. Before giving it to Lily, Summer realized that the bear was a share bear. Once she saw this, it brought her back to old memories, filled with thoughts of Marissa.
FLASHBACK
The bell sounded the end of seventh period. Summer ran out of her math class, she didn't even bother going to her locker because she was just too excited to get home. When she got to her car she started to play the game of what-ifs. What if I don't get into any collage? What if I only get into one of them? What if my acceptance letters got lost in the mail and I never get them? She stopped herself when she pulled into her driveway. She ran as fast as someone could while wearing three inch stilettos and a pencil skirt. Once she reached the mail box she grabbed the letters and ran up to her room. Now she was faced with her first big decision, which letter should she open first? FIDM (Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandise, it's in LA) or Berkeley? Instead of deciding she put them behind her back and started mixing them up so she didn't actually have to pick. Now she faced her second big decision; which arm?
'Right' she thought to herself. She took the letter from her right arm and it was from FIDM. Summer quickly ripped open the letter and read:
Dear Miss Roberts,
We are pleased to inform you have been accepted into FIDM! We are excited to have you attend as a freshman next fall…
"Oh My God, Oh My God, Oh My God!!!! AHHHH I GOT IN!!!!" Summer screamed while jumping up and down with the letter in one hand. Once she calmed herself down she realized that she still had another letter to open. She sat down again and slowly opened the Berkeley envelope and pulled out the letter. Before she read it she took a deep breath and looked down at the letter.
Dear Miss Roberts,
We are please to inform you that you've been accepted to attend Berkley next fall…
"Ohhh my gooodddddd!!!!" Summer said slowly before jumping up and down again.
"This can't be happening" She said. She sat back down with one letter in each hand. She let out a big sigh now realizing that she was faced with her second big decision; which one? Summer had put this decision off for months. One school was full of something she has always wanted to be; a fashion designer, and the other had more then one set carrier path.
Summer got up and walked over to her bulletin board on her wall. She looked at a picture of her and Marissa taken a few years ago. She took the picture down and just looked at it. She remembered exactly where this picture was taken, when Neil and Julie took the girls on a California collage trip when they were 15. They were standing on the Berkley campus admiring all of the older boys walk by. Neither of them knew the picture was being taken but had huge smiles on their faces. Summer turned the picture over and saw Marissa's messy scribble on the back.
Sum,
Can't wait to go to collage with you and Seth.
Friends Always,
Marissa
One lonely tear rolled down her cheek but she quickly wiped it away. Summer wasn't going to let Marissa bring her to tears again. Summer flipped the picture back over and got one last look at it before ripping it in half and throwing it away. She then looked at the Berkley letter in hand; she knew what she had to do. Summer then watched the letter slowly fall into the trash can along with the shredded picture. She walked back over to her bed and grabbed her acceptance letter to FIDM.
"Guess I made my decision" she said to no one in particular. She took the letter and hung it on the bulletin board, replacing where there once hung a picture of two happy friends.
END OF FLASHBACK
Please Review,
-Sarah and Edrug