Title: The Callipygian
Genre: Poetry, Humour
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Not fluffy, just amusing.
Disclaimer: Alas, I don't own the characters, just the happenstance that brought them together.
1. A Chance Encounter (or The Bottom of the Gutter)
Lounging in Café Quatre,
Along the river Rhine,
Sipping my sapid coffee,
A quiver ran down my spine-
Such sweet liquid toffee.
At a table alone I sat-
My back faced the fading sun,
And the wind had a dance
With my wild auburn hair.
Suddenly, I, by chance,
Spotted a delicious pair
Of black denim-wrapped buns.
Rump roast, flanks of steel;
His derriere could melt ice.
My dirty, lusty mind
Undressed him and found nice
Supple legs supporting that behind.
Oh what I would give for a feel!
Visions of sweaty bodies entwined,
Of racy romance novel scenes-
Of true love held for ransom,
Of the man of my dreams;
(Tall, dark, and handsome)
Ran in and around my mind.
His black pants and silk shirt
Captured the sun's light.
Of all my twenty-one years
I had never seen such a sight;
I had never had such dessert.
And yet, as I indulged
In this chocolate fantasy,
I wondered if I knew this man.
There was a familiarity,
(His hair, the way he stands)
Of which I couldn't divulge.
Fate I couldn't escape:
When the man turned around,
My expectations turned to dust;
To my horror I found
The object of my lust
Was Professor Severus Snape.
Author's Notes:
1. This is part one of three. The whole piece is completed, but the other sections are under revision.
2. A Callipygian, if you haven't guessed, is a person who possesses an exceptional rear end.