Word count; 1,163
Summary; 2x23 he'll lie - because that's just what Chuck Bass does best. C 2x23 spoilers.

You're too late, he's always too fucking late.

He lets himself laugh, because irony hurts and it all feels so familiar now. He's always late, and it makes him want to scream until his throat is sore and his insides stop bleeding and twisting into the broken mess they've become. She breathes a smile, wow.

There's intrigue, he doesn't want to ask. He reallyreally doesn't, but it's all too much. (He doesn't have much control around her anymore, it honestly just slipped out and he wants to choke himself.)

What? And she smiles, and trails her fingers round the bottom of her glass. It's a laugh, she says, that's the first true laugh I've gotten out of you in a while. He's breathing, and dying, and it's that moment – right there, where he realizes he just wants to tell her she's beautiful and to never, ever, leave him, but he's breaking and procrastinating and he just has to get it over and fucking done with before he dies of blood loss.

Listen Blair, and she interrupts, his stomach's flipping, and his hearts beating too fast. (How in the hell does a broken heart beat anyway? He should go for a check up – it stopped a long time ago.)

His jaw clenches, Nate's waiting for me to give him an answer, and he think he hears a bell ringing in his head somewhere – and he really can't think of anything so he lets his subconscious answer for him. Do you want to know what's stopping me?

And he doesn't, like honest to God, doesn't. (So he gulps because she'll tell him anyway.)

I can't answer his question, while I'm waiting for you to answer mine. He's procrastinating again, because he's now positive he's dying of heart failure and there's so much something (desperationhurtanger) in her eyes that he has to look away.

The one I asked forever ago. Out the corner of his eye, he can see the tears almost threatening to fall and it's just like someone's torturing him – like shoving glass into his stomach and watching him cough up the blood. Everything just hurts, and he knows he can't delay it anymore because she's there – and so, so real, and she's begging for the answer he can't deliver. So he'll lie.

Because, lies are what create him, keep him alive and (with just a few words) will destroy him.

What are we, Chuck?

He shakes his head, puts on his best poker face and tries so hard to get it right, fill the cracks in his mask because amateur acting won't save him here. He needs to believe it himself and maybe, just maybe she'll believe it too. Blair –

Last fall, you said we couldn't be together, just like that he looks at her, into her eyes and dies. In that seat – with their eyes reaching into each others soul, and please, just please let the tears go away. I believed you.

He almost chokes, because how can she believe him. How can she just believe all that bull, he was scared, and stupid, and why the fuck can't everything be normal for a fucking change – everything's just so suffocating because she shouldn't have believed him, she just shouldn't have.

Everytime I try to move on, you're right there, he can't anymore, she just wants to move on, but he's always there, right next to her – in the corner of her eye, it's all just easier to fucking see, and he's not supposed to be the knight because she can slay her own dragons – but he needs to stop messing with her, needs to stop acting like –

Acting like what? He interrupts, and it's rude, and cruel – but she has to say it. She has to; scream it, shout it, whisper it, just let him know that she knows to – that he's not just sending out these signals and she's picking them up with a faulty station. He really feels like his going to vomit, shards of a heart are stuck in his throat, and he just needs her to say it – just once, and maybe he can breathe.

But she says something, something that infuriates him to no end. The complete opposite. Like you want me to be as miserable as you are, he begs and pleads that she understands, repeating a mantra stop, don't say things like that, just – please, just – stop in his head.

She turns away, I would never wish that on anyone, he wants to tell her that she's his entire world, sweep her off to places where they can be together – surviving on only each other. I want you to be happy.

So he's letting her go, jump ship – she'll never have to look back again.

Because it's just time to 'cut her loose' now.

And it can't be simple, because she's Blair Waldorf, and she's tired – and he can see in her eyes everything she's thinking. Look down deep, into the soul I know you have, and tell me if what you feel for me is real – or if it's just a game, she whispers, he knows she doesn't want to run anymore – so she has to give him this, the ultimatum, and he knows he has to lie, because she deserves to be happy, and she deserves the whole world given to her on a silver platter.

So he'll lie – because that's just what Chuck Bass does best.

If it's real, we'll figure it out, all of us, she's nearly crying, tears brimming and he's choking on words. But if it's not, then please Chuck, let me go.

He watches her wipe away the tear through a smile, because she's a fighter and he knows she deserves better than a fuck-up who nearly throws himself off a building, so lies will only ever be the best option with her, because he can't watch her break everytime he shatters.

It's just a game, he whispers and fixes the mask because he's halfway through the scene just a few seconds, she'll be free – she'll be happy soon, I hate to loose, you're free to go. It all just reminds him of that bar over two years ago, he's dying, choking and he almost throws up as he looks into her eyes.

Thank you, and she's gone, he wants to order a scotch – but he doesn't trust himself with anything because he doesn't know if she's really gone yet. Her seats empty, but her scent lingers and it's burning.

He doesn't notice Serena, Chuck, why'd you do that? She sounds, soft – almost apologetic, and he knows, it's burning, but she'll be happy – and she'll get over him, he clenches his jaw, and sets his mouth in a hard line.

Because I love her, and I can't make her happy.

-end-