Singing In The Dark, a stargate: sg-1 fanfic

"Come to me

Run to me

Do and be done with me

Cold, cold, cold

Don't I exist for you?

Don't I still live for you?

Cold, cold, cold,

Everything I possess given with tenderness

Wrapped in a ribbon of glass,

Time it may take us, but God only knows

How I've paid for those things in the past"

With my earphones on, safe in the dark of my lab and the knowledge that it's way too late for anyone to drop in "unexpectedly", I see no reason to sing under my breath.

I love this track. I love all the songs on this CD actually, because I burnt it myself.

See, people always think I've got my head in a book about a subject few others would understand, or up to my eyes in a piece of engineering.

Not everyone, I know that, just the rest of this facility that doesn't include Daniel, Teal'c, Janet or, er, Jack. They know that I'm a multi-faceted human being with a full range of interests, really I am! But, sometimes, even they forget.

And, of course, there's always something that people don't know, even your best friends and colleagues.

And mine is a bit of an embarrassment, well, to me anyway.

See, they all know I love tearing about in fast machines, hence my vintage sports car, the Harley I ride to work sometimes when I'm feeling reckless and don't want to be seen as just a Major in the Air Force thank you very much.

For the twenty five minutes I'm riding that bike up to the base I know I'm turning heads, and I can handle that because I don't have to deal with it. I can hide inside my smoked visor helmet, the leathers I wear. Doesn't make me less of a woman, though it does mean I can indulge in a damn good flirt with the speed merchants who try to catch my attention by race starting me at lights. And they do, revving their engines, winding the windows down, and blatantly apprising me through their designer sunglasses. If they're lucky I might flip my visor up and return the compliment, but they rarely beat me away from the green light.

No, what my friends and colleagues don't know is that I'm an avid fan of the compilation CD. Mostly of songs from CD's I already own, but thank goodness for Napster!

So, right now, I have on my latest collection on. It takes me a while to get a final listing, I learnt early on that there's no point rushing to commit my first choices, invariably there are songs that you just end up skipping over every time because you can't be doing with them after a couple of cursory listens. This particular edition is a bit angsty to be honest, but angst with a heavy dollop of upbeat intertwined.

If I were at home I'd just stick this on and sing along out loud. I do bring them to work, but as I can't be sure of uninterrupted time until about 6pm, I bring in my CD Walkman and wait till everyone has gone home.

So far I've had a good dance to "Son Of A Preacher Man" by Dusty Springfield and totally rocked out to "Disappear" by INXS. Now I'm being calmed down with probably my favourite Annie Lennox song "Cold":

"Dying is easy,

It's living that scares me to death

I could be so content hearing the sound of your breath.

Cold is the colour of crystal,

The snowlight that fall from the heavenly skies,

Catch me and let me dive under

For I want to swim in the pools of your eyes"

I know I've already heard this twice over, but, like some drug, I need another fix.

"I want to be with you baby

Oh, slip me inside of your heart.

Don't I belong to you baby?

Don't you know that nothing can tear us apart?

Come on now

Telling you that I loved you right from the start.

But the more I want you, the less I get,

Ain't that just the way things are?"

So true! I sit in the same briefing room, and I'm always torn on the merest decisions that normally Iwouldn't think about. Do I sit next to him, for the chance our hands will brush? Or in the sure knowledge that if Daniel is killing us with another way to in-depth brief of some obscure deity (I've learnt not to say 'God' these days), that I can have a damn good stare at the man next to me, and no one knows because of the dimmed lights.

Or, do I sit opposite him? It usually means I get a ringside seat for the myriad of exasperation expressions that cross his face or a killer smile. If I'm lucky I can even pretend that I'm not really waiting for him to look at me to swap an raising of eyebrows, which makes him have to work hard to try and catch my attentions. If only he knew! Since we met I've mastered the art of looking 110 studious while simultaneously checking out my boss.

Which is why I've got "My One Temptation" by Mica Paris on my cd.

"You, you are my one temptation

You, give me the thrill that I'm addicted to

You're my one temptation.

Nothing ever happens till you show your face around

Can't let you see that you've turned my world around

Our love lines grow, and get too strong to say

No."

Which is the crux of the matter – he is my boss. My C.O. Not like any other C.O. I've ever worked for or met though. He's obviously much more intelligent than he likes people to think, despite his show of being what did he call it the other day? Yeah "hard of thinking"!

Janet knows, that's for sure. But then I've never been able to hide much from her. I guess it's a Doctor/Mother thing.

I know how to complicate my life, really I do. Engaged to Jonah was, well, challenging most of the time, and I swore I wouldn't ever again get involved with a mind game player.

Trouble is you can't help who you fall in love with, right? There must be other single guys on the base, Janet is always regaling me with stories of how this nurse she works with is dating a different guy every other month. So where are they? Where do they hang out? These available men?

And why am I so bothered about it all of a sudden? I'm the career girl here. I've studied my butt off, getting through to the best colleges, passing my exams with almost record high marks, well, alright, maybe I'm being a bit modest, in a couple of tests they were record marks, but that's beside the point! The military seemed the best place for me to go after all that studying. Dad was married to his career, particularly after Mom died, and although he was pleased when we initially talked about it, he never pushed me. I ended up studying even more at the AF College, again passing my exams, both physical and written. And when I graduated, the Pentagon couldn't wait for me to go there, or so people kept telling me. And the work was fascinating, even more so when I got seconded to this project so "hush-hush" I had to sign a million forms saying I wouldn't even dream about it – and that was before I knew what it was all about.

I'm still in awe of the Stargate though. We must step through it about 2 or 3 times a month depending on what happens when we get there, and it never fails to thrill me.

And we're not just talking about the physics here either. I must wander through the universes with possibly three of the best looking men I know. Which only highlights my dilemma more.

There's Daniel, a fellow scientist, a really clever guy, and what's more, absolutely lovely too. He's patient, and kind and understanding, when you talk to him I always feel like I'm stronger for having done so. Of course he's still grieving for Sha're, his wife, but when he's ready, well, a good number of women will be there to "rehabilitate" him back into the dating scene! I don't think he realises what an effect he has either, even when we're in the base gym together, he has a silent audience watching his every move. And being our civilian, he can say stuff I wouldn't dare! Oh, he makes me smile, he can be so funny! And did I mention that I find him cute too?

If Daniel had a theme tune, hmmm, well, I don't know. I guess "Forever Autumn" from the original War Of The World soundtrack would be right for him losing his wife I guess, but I hope he'll soon be ready for something more upbeat and cheerful. I keep hoping I'm going to hear a song and think, "Yes! That's Daniel!", but nothing has really come round yet.

Then there's Teal'c. What can I say about him? Other than, technically, he's an alien. I mean, physically? He's human. Apart from the fact that he carries round a Gou'ald symbiote in his abdomen that is. We've all christened that little joy "Junior", but I don't think Teal'c gets it yet. He's the strong silent type, never says anything unless it's a statement of fact. Which makes him sound like an automaton, which he isn't! He and the Colonel seem to have this special bond, all warriors together. Which would normally annoy me, because I'm hardly the kinda girl to shy away from a good fight and, hello? How many hours in enemy airspace during the first Gulf Operation? It's not like the Colonel or Teal'c don't know that, even if, until recently, Teal'c didn't know what it meant. We were sharing a coffee together the other week and he suddenly announced that he had been reading some literature about the conflict I had "participated" in – makes it sound like a Mardi Gras! – and that he would like to learn more of my experiences if I was willing to tell him. See, there's no preamble with Teal'c, no small talk, its straight to the point or nothing. Literally! That guy can make one word cover a multitude of responses, I swear. "Indeed" he'll say, perhaps raising one eyebrow, and that'll be it. I don't know anyone else who can do that. Physically he's imposing, and he's the epitome of "a man of few words", but there are few others I'd trust like I do Teal'c. Even if his sense of humour needs work. But as he's over 100 years old I guess he could be said to be stuck in his ways!

Teal'c theme has to be something dramatic I think. That song from the Rocky films – "Eye of the Tiger" perhaps? And something more quiet but still dramatic? Something classical I think. "Nessun Dorma" – "none shall sleep" – that starts quiet and builds to a big finish. Yes, I think that'll do quite nicely for now….

And, last, but certainly not last, the Colonel. Colonel Jack O'Neill. The reason I enjoy every boring briefing, the only boss to encourage me in my addiction to Jello, and the serious upside to this whole posting. The man is Black Ops trained, where he hasn't been on this planet just isn't worth talking about, and I don't think he's even allowed to talk about most of the stuff he's ever done – due to its dubious legality no doubt. Hey, I can read between the lines when he mentions an oblique reference in a rare anecdote. He can be a real pain in the mik'ta (as Teal'c once told us) to work for sometimes, but he commands this respect and loyalty like no one I've ever met before. As a result, SG-1 is more than just 4 people and a reference number. We're are a team in every true sense of the word. I don't think there's anything we wouldn't do for each other.

But I've wandered off the point here, rare for me. Humph, well, unless I'm trying to distract myself from thinking about the Colonel. Which has become increasingly difficult these last few months.

Since the Tok'ra incident when I ended up sharing my physical body with a rebel Gou'ald called Jolinar of Malk'shur, I've had these waves of emotion surge through me like a surge of adrenaline. Mar'touf warned me this might happen but I wasn't expecting it to feel like this. I'll be sitting here, engrossed in what the Colonel calls my "doohickeys", which normally means I'm in a world of my own, and all of a sudden I'm seeing a different planet, or a reflection of myself in strange clothes. The first time it happened I nearly fell off my chair and threw up, it was terrifying, but now I find myself trying to remember details of my "visions" – what colour the sky is, how many moons or suns (not such a stupid thing to note on a different planet), who I'm with – that kind of thing.

I have spoken to Mar'touf about it, and he said it was perfectly normal, but if I was particularly affected by one of my visions, I was to try and write down everything I could remember and when we next made contact with the Tok'ra he'd help me out with it. Which is more difficult than it sounds. The nature of the Tok'ra is that no one (other than other members of the Tok'ra) is to know where their base is. They can make contact with us, General Hammond gave Daniel permission to give them a GDO box so we'll open the iris for them, but we haven't a clue how to contact them.

The Colonel says this isn't such a bad thing – "I'll never trust a snakehead" was his definitive comment on the whole situation last I heard. For all his bonhomie with us, he's not a man to trust easily. I probably trust all too easily, maybe I'm too empathic at times. Daniel can be the same, another reason we get on so well I guess. And as my mother used to tell me, "Samantha, if we were all were all the same, life would be very boring", which was another way of telling me that not every one wanted to hear my enthusiasms on my latest theory about MacGyver's exploits. Still, the Colonel doesn't always appreciate some of the information Daniel and I bring to a situation. And from the looks I've had from said Colonel, I get the feeling he doesn't altogether approve of Mar'touf and mine's friendship either. I don't know why, though in my wild imagination – what a woman of science isn't allowed to have an imagination? – I like to think I see shades of jealousy in his eyes. Mar'touf is oblivious to the snarky comments from the Colonel, "Ah Mar'touf, what a pleasant surprise" he'll cry, "Come to lead my 2inC astray again?". At this point I throw my C.O. a pained expression and led the Tok'ra off, but I know when I'm being watched, and I can't help it, I give my hips an extra swing as I walk away. One day I'll catch him watching and I'll turn and say "Enjoy the view sir?" then wink and swagger off.

One day.

Perhaps.

I am very fond of Mar'touf, really I am. He's intelligent, gentle, he can be incredibly intense when he's on a mission, he's charming, funny, not to mention he's pretty easy on the eye too. For some strange reason he likes me too, but I think that because he and Jolinar were mates for nearly a hundred years. Well, mainly. Anyway, it's complicated. If he was here more often, or we had more contact I think I would be in serious danger of falling for him. As it is, it can be months between our meetings, so I think I'm alright on that account. I do miss him at times, and even though Dad will visit as often as he can he can't always manage to bring anyone with him. When he does he always makes sure it is Mar'touf – for an intelligent man he sure isn't subtle sometimes!

And speaking of intelligent men – once again I'm back to the Colonel. Who after careful study, I am convinced is more intelligent than he makes out. He swings by my lab at all hours, interrupting my chain of thought, usually when I'm up to my elbows in what he calls my "doohickeys", and throws me completely. God, that is so annoying! At first I found it a little disturbing, did he think I was just sitting down here doing nothing? I did think he was checking up on me, making sure I was doing what I supposed to be, and on several occasions I nearly ordered him out of my lab, how dare he come here and make me feel like an errant high school student?

Then, Daniel started to come by and hang out, which was and is still cool. He would bring Teal'c with him, they would bring cookies, I always have coffee on down here and we'd just, well, hang out really. Particularly when Teal'c hadn't been here long. He didn't get the whole thing about "hanging with the guys" at all, which just proves the Jaf'fa are all work and no play! We couldn't get permission to take him off base, and he's not the sort of guy to blend into the crowd, so what could he do? He and the Colonel spar a lot in the gym, which is fine for the bonding thing with them, but Teal'c had a really hard time dealing with the fact that I'm a woman and a warrior. Jaf'fa women are not encouraged to be as warlike as the men it seems. Anyway, Daniel and I had a chat one day and decided that we had better start broadening Teal'c knowledge and experience of the "Tauri" as he calls us. Daniel took him books and introduced him to a lot of different cultures myths and legends, which I think kinda threw Teal'c – more Gods! – Until Daniel did some hasty explaining. He's encouraged Teal'c to keep a journal of his experiences, which has been interesting as the Jaf'fa are forbidden to write anything down by the Gou'ald. I guess they think if anyone finds out what they are up to, the information becomes dangerous. Teal'c keeps his journal locked in his room locker and the key on him. It's kinda of sweet really, like a teenager with a locked diary. I remember what I used to put in mine! The pages about Billy Swenson when I was 13! In my defence, he was very cute!

So, back to Teal'c. With the Colonel taking care of his physical well being, and Daniel covering the intellectual, it sort of left me with what my college tutors called the social aspects. Now, I know I was kind of a den mother at college, but that was with women of my peer group – not a 100+ year old man who carries a parasitical life form in his abdomen! I did worry about it, till in the end, Teal'c came by my lab by himself one evening when, once again, I was pulling a late nighter.

"Major Carter?"

"Teal'c! Hi! How are you?"

"I am well Major Carter"

"So, what do I owe the pleasure?"

"The pleasure of what?"

"The pleasure of your visit and company Teal'c!"

"I do not understand."

"Okay, Teal'c, lets start again!"

"Do you wish me to enter the room again?"

"No! Teal'c – come on in, take a seat. Coffee?"

"I will decline on this occasion. Caffeine is proving detrimental to my Kel'Nor'Eem at this hour."

"Oh, okay. So, how are you?"

"You have already enquired. I am still well."

"Teal'c, we have to work on your social skills! How was your day?"

"About 12 hours long, as usual."

Poor Teal'c! The longer the conversation went on the more confused he was!

"Teal'c? It's not really the answer! Listen, when someone asks you that, what they want to know is what you did – and not in detail! Like if you asked me?"

"Yes?"

"I would say 'good thanks!' and maybe say that I'd managed to fix something that was bothering me, that I had lunch with Daniel and how a cd I had just got was worth the wait."

"Ah. I see."

"So? How was your day Teal'c?"

"It was satisfactory thank you Major Carter"

I sighed.

"Okay. So, what did you do? Give a little here!"

Teal'c stood there – what I call his "Parade Rest" posture, legs at hip width and hands behind his back.

"I had a most satisfactory hand to hand sparring practise with O'Neill this morning."

"Okay, good! See, it's easy really. Having a chat Teal'c."

"I feel it is something I will have to practise Major Carter"

"Teal'c, you can call me Sam y'know, Daniel does."

"O'Neill does not."

I felt myself colour, I hate it when I blush!

"Well, that's because he's my C.O., so its protocol. However, if you feel more comfortable calling me Major Carter, that's fine."

"Thank you."

And silence.

"Major Carter."

"Yes, Teal'c"

"What is a birthday?"

"Why do you ask?"

"O'Neill informed me that it is Daniel Jackson's 'birthday' next week and that we should celebrate. I do not understand this practise."

"A birthday is a celebration of the day someone was born Teal'c. I didn't realise Daniel's was so close! What are we getting him?"

Ah, the quizzical eyebrow. Further explanation required obviously.

"On your birthday, your family and friends give you cards and presents. When you are a child it's usually a toy but as you grow up it can be anything they think you might like. Don't you do something like that on Chulak?"

"No. I am aware of the day of my birth, but we do not commemorate this. We receive the gift of our Prim'ta when we are about 12 Tauri years of age, but work for our possessions."

"Junior was a 'gift'? Eeee-you!" I recoiled at this, "Teal'c, a gift is supposed to be something you like!"

"My symbiote has given me many years of good health and rapid healing after injury."

"Well, it's not my idea of the perfect present! It still leaves me stumped for Daniel, unless…." I had a thought and dove onto the Internet.

"Teal'c – would you like to give Daniel a present?" I asked.

"It is customary?"

"You don't have to obviously, not if you don't want to."

"You are presenting him with a gift?"

"Yes! He's my friend. Look, I've found this – " and I showed him the Gourmet Coffee set I had found on line a little while ago. "Daniel loves his coffee, its perfect!"

"I see."

"Would you like to go halves with me on it?"

Another quizzical look.

"I mean, would you like to buy this with me so we can give Daniel this present from both of us? Or would you like me to help you find something from just you?"

"I think I would like to give him a present just from me. However, I cannot leave the Mountain Major Carter, as you aware."

"Not a problem! Teal'c – what do you think the internet was created for! Look, I'll set you up an account and you can find something for him."

"And how will I barter for this item?"

"Ah, well, you are getting paid now aren't you?" I was aware that General Hammond had been lobbying for a salary for Teal'c, much to the Jaffa's confusion. He wasn't used to the idea of money, in Jaf'fa culture, bartering and swapping was still the basis of commerce. And when it was required, the women did it.

"I believe General Hammond has secured recompense for my actions here."

"Sweet. Look, here's the keyboard – and here's my favourite stores online." I pulled down "My Favourites" menu, and clicked on a favourite booksite.

I knew Teal'c was familiar with the Internet, Daniel had taught him how to access the system and look for information, but I doubted they had raided any shopping sites together.

Men! When will they learn what's important!

After a frustrating hour of searching for the perfect gift for Daniel, Teal'c decided on a notebook cum journal made with handmade paper with a design similar to the Egyptian Wadjet sign on the front.

I paid for it, after all a credit card for a Jaf'fa is going to be a long time in the authorising, and arranged for it to be sent to my house.

"Good call Teal'c. He'll love that."

"I am aware Daniel Jackson keeps many notations on our encounters with the Goa'uld and other races. I hope he will find it useful."

"I'm sure he will Teal'c."

"Hey Guys – whatcha doin'?"

We both spun around to see the Colonel standing in the doorway. I felt myself colour, but tried to remain casual.

"Hi sir. Teal'c and I have just been buying Daniel's birthday present."

"Already? Carter, you are too organised! So, whatcha getting him?"

I explained my gift, and let Teal'c tell the Colonel about his.

"I think we should go out too." The Colonel continued. "All of us."

"Sir, is that going to be possible? Teal'c is still, well, he's not allowed, er" Way to go with the literate conversation Sam!

"I believe Major Carter is trying to say that I am restricted to base O'Neill"

"No longer my friend!" the Colonel looked like the cat that got the cream. Or in his case, the beer and a full season of the Simpsons.

"Really sir? What's happened?"

"Indeed O'Neill I do not understand."

"Guys, relax. I just pointed out to General Hammond that perhaps it would be good for Teal'c to see a bit more of the outside world than razor wire and armed guards. I used my not inconsiderable charm – Carter!" He stopped, as I couldn't help myself giggling.

"I used my not inconsiderable charm – and the General cleared it. Seems he thinks it'll be fine if we keep it low key."

"That's great sir! Teal'c" I turned to my friend, "this is quite a occasion!"

Teal'c remained impassive.

"How so Major Carter?"

"T – for crying out loud! You finally get to breathe some non-recycled air! Get to meet other people! Drink beer! Eat proper food!" The Colonel was all but incensed at the Jaf'fa not realising the full gamut of the experience ahead of him.

"O'Neill, as you are aware, I do not consume alcoholic beverages. However, I am willing to try what you term as proper food. Why has this been arranged though?"

"Carter – haven't you explained about Danny's birthday?"

"Yes sir. Teal'c, you remember I said about giving the person cards and presents?"

"I do Major Carter"

"Well, it's also a custom to share a meal with family and friends to celebrate as well. And, as we're Daniel's friends, and the closest thing to family he has, we'll go out together."

"I see. Do we not already share meals with Daniel Jackson?"

"Yes, we do, but this is special. Sir, I take it we're going into town?"

"Yeahsureyabetcha! O'Malley's is booked! Table for four, 7 O'Clock on Friday night."

"Sir, I thought the General asked for it to be low key? Friday nights are the busiest nights out!"

"Carter, relax. It's a table in the back, and they'll screen us off – private party – see?"

"I guess, but sir, Teal'c, I'm sorry to point this out, but Teal'c's, er, tattoo? Won't that be rather noticeable?"

"Right…. Ah! Hat! That'll cover it!"

"And what's he going to wear?"

"Major Carter, I have adequate clothing already."

I laid a hand on Teal'c's arm.

"Teal'c, you can't go out in your BDUs! And you can't borrow any of the Colonel's or Daniel's clothes either. They're the wrong shape…" I tailed off as I started to think, and mentally measure the man in front of me.

"The wrong shape? Gee, thanks Carter!"

"Not like that sir. You have a very nice shape, er, what I mean is, um.." and the armies of embarrassment started a spirited movement across my face again.

The Colonel mock bowed at me – and then winked which completely finished me off.

"Teal'c, you need clothes. If we are going out – out of base for Daniel's birthday, you need to blend in, in a good way."

"I understand Major Carter."

"So I need your uniform."

Teal'c calmly started to unbutton his shirt, which was then I realised he took everything anyone told him literally.

"Woah! Woah! Not that one! Haven't you got as spare?"

"Indeed."

"Then, er, it might be easier if I borrowed that for a couple of minutes?"

"I will fetch it." Teal'c bowed at the Colonel and me and exited the room.

"Way to go Carter, you nearly had the first Jaf'fa strip show right here in your lab!"

I slumped on one of the tall lab seats.

"Please sir – don't even joke about it! Much as I'm fond of Teal'c, you can know too much about your friends! I really didn't want to see his scars up close and personal!"

The Colonel moved closer to me, in fact so close I could see his t-shirt move as he breathed. In and out, in and out, woah Sam! Calm girl!

"I don't think he has any. Junior sorts that all out." He paused and lowered his voice, "But if you want to see mine, just give me fair warning?"

The man just knows how to push my buttons – I swear! Jeez, I haven't been flirted like this since? Well, it's been a while, and lets just leave it at that shall we? Even though I'm a little thrown by this, and from my Boss no less, I summon up just enough courage to retort,

"And if you show me yours, will you want to see mine?"

His eyebrows wiggled in that damnedly gorgeous way that he has, and he looked me up and down.

"Anywhere in particular?"

So, it was just as well Teal'c came back with his spare clothes.

"Major Carter, I believe these may assist you?"

"Teal'c, great." I spun round and took the clothes from him, scrabbling for a pencil and paper pad to write down the sizes from the labels inside. God Bless military labelling!

"Thanks Teal'c. Leave it with me and I'll get you something – give me a couple of days?"

"How would I do that?"

"I mean, it'll take me a couple of days to get to the stores to find you suitable clothes, but I should have something for you by, Saturday?" There, I could take Cassie with me, Janet had asked me to take her out.

"For crying out loud Carter, don't you have anything planned for the weekend?"

"Cassie and I have impeccable taste sir! You doubt the shopping abilities of two women to dress a man?" and welcome to 'Flirt 101' again!

"Oh, I don't doubt that! Well, keep me posted on the fashion parade. For now all I can think of is food – care to join me?"

"I too feel the need for sustenance O'Neill"

"Yeah, I could eat sir"

So, that's why I'm here, working late again.

Okay, so maybe not working late, just dancing round my lab like a mad woman to some damn fine tunes.

I've got a half-hour before I need to go and get ready. There was no point going home because by the time I've wrapped up here and got home, it would leave me precisely no time to shower and change.

Besides I might give me the time to change my mind about what I have decided to wear, so by only bringing that outfit with me and staying here the situation forces me to go through with it.

I'm blaming some higher power that nudged me into this new boutique in town last weekend, because I can't believe I bought this top. It's not my usual taste or style at all – and I have witnesses to that.

See I was just stopping off in town to pick up some computer software I'd ordered. I rarely have time to just wander round the stores in town, so I took the opportunity to drop in to the best deli I've ever been to, and get some groceries. Just as I was heading out of the main strip, bound for an exciting dash round the grocery store, I noticed this flash of colour on my right side. I pulled over to see what had caught my eye, and there it was. There was this bookstore that had been there forever, I'd only been in there a couple of times, I do most of my book shopping on line, but now it had gone. And its space had been filled with a clothes shop. Which is good, because, frankly, Colorado Springs could do with more of this kind of store.

As I sat there, looking at the riot of colour in the front window display, I saw a figure waving at me. It was Cassie, with Janet behind her. I waved back and got out the car.

"Sam!"

Cassie enveloped me in a hug you can only give if you're a teenager.

"Hey Cass, Janet"

"Sam – help me out here!" Janet pleaded, "I can't look at another clothes store and retain my sanity!"

"Yes! Oh, please come in with me Sam!"

"What are you looking for?" I asked Cassie.

"She has a date – which obviously requires a new outfit" sighed Janet.

"It's not a date!" argued Cassie, "It's a, it's a, well, its just two friends meeting for coffee"

"Uh-huh." Janet replied, winking at me, "So, why do you need a new outfit then?"

"Whose the lucky guy?" I asked Cassie, who was going red.

"I'll tell you – in there" Cassie mumbled as she dragged me towards the store.

"Please Sam, if you could – I've got errands to run myself" Janet waved a list at us.

"Sure, why not?"

"Great! See you later Mom" Cassie practically ran into the store door.

"Good Luck – don't let her spend too much!" Janet called as I followed Cassie.

Inside the store was as promising as the window display had promised. Cassie whirled round, grabbing all manner of clothing from the hanging rails, then headed of the changing room.

I lingered outside, trying to elicit more information about this "non-date" she was shopping for.

"So, who is he then?"

"You don't know him" came the muffled reply behind the curtains.

"How do you?"

"He's new to my class. He's just transferred in from somewhere in England"

"Really?"

"Uh-huh. What do you think?" Cassie pushed the curtain back from her changing booth and spun round to show me the dress she had found.

"Very nice Cass"

"Just very nice! Hmph!" She immediately went back behind the curtain.

"So, how come this English guy is in your class then?"

"His dad is working on base, some sort of job swap I think. Joel said,"

"Oh, his name is Joel?"

"Yes, his name is Joel. He's so polite, and he has this cool way of talking. He has this really cute accent, and the most gorgeous eyes" I listened as Cassie waxed lyrical about the new object of her affections.

As she described him, my mind wandered to the object of my affections.

Not that he knows, obviously.

Cassie stood in front of me.

"So, what do you think to this then?"

"Nice top Cass. No, more than nice – just what you should wear to meet a new friend for coffee." I teased her.

"Mom will be pleased – she thought I was going to buy half the store. Now, what about you?"

"Me? Why do I need anything new?"

"Jack says you are going out for Daniel's birthday next Friday, so you need a new top at least." Cassie nodded at me.

"The Colonel tells you too much!" I replied, but I had to admit, the idea had its merits.

Cassie grinned at me and disappeared off to a nearby rail.

"Try this!"

'This' was a blue silky top with a mandarin type collar and those knotted buttons I can never work out.

"Cassie, its not really me."

"Yes it is! You can wear it with your jeans or that long linen skirt you've got and never wear!"

She hustled me into the changing room.

"Okay, okay, but if its doesn't fit, we're paying for yours and leaving okay?"

"Deal."

Sometimes I almost hate that girl.

The top was perfect.

Cass cheered when I emerged from the changing room.

"Its great – I'm so cool! Jack will love you in that!" she clapped excitedly.

"Cassie!"

"Ah, c'mon Sam, it's obvious! He really likes you, y'know?" Cassie told me.

"Cass, this really isn't the place to discuss this" there wasn't anywhere on Earth – or any other planet I hastily added – that was going to the right place either I thought.

Cassie pouted at me, but I jollied her to the checkout and we paid for our purchases.

As we exited the store, Cassie grabbed my arm and waved at someone the other side of the street. I assumed it would be Janet.

"Jack!" Cassie cried excitedly, and kept waving.

My stomach dropped, and I could feel myself blushing already. What the heck was I going to say to him?

The Colonel crossed the street at a jog and picked Cassie up, spinning her round in a bear hug.

She shrieked with joy. I know she loves the Colonel, and he is really good with her. He has this affinity with children I've noticed, which is another conflicting facet of this man.

"Hey Cass – spent your allowance in one foul swoop again?" he teased her.

"No! Look!" She dug in her bag and produced the new top to show him.

The Colonel made the right noises, asking what the occasion was, and teasing her about not driving the new guy mad with flirtation.

Cassie giggled and teased him back. Then she remembered me.

"Sam bought something new as well y'know"

"Carter – really? Do I get a show and tell from you too?" he waggled his eyebrows at me and tried to peer in my bag.

"She bought it for Friday night – you'll have to wait" Cassie nudged him.

"Cassie!" How embarrassing was this going to get? I could feel myself start to blush again. "The Colonel does not need to know the contents of my wardrobe!"

"Oh, I don't know…." And he winked at me.

I hate that man.

Cassie stood beaming at me during this exchange.

"So, I'll just have to wait for Friday then Carter?"

"You will sir. Patience is a virtue." I smiled at him, unable to maintain my composure any longer.

"Well, ladies, I must leave you – see you soon Cass – behave yourself?" he said, ruffling her hair, a gesture she hates.

"Jack!"

"Okay, okay – no harm, no foul. Look here's the Doc to come rescue you."

Janet was coming towards us, laden with bags. Cassie ran to her, waving her bag at her mother.

"Carter?"

"Sir?"

"I look forward to seeing you on Monday."

"Oh, I'll, er, I'll be there sir."

He leaned closer to me and said, even more quietly,

"I look forward to seeing that new top on Friday night more though…" and he was gone.

Leaving me standing on the sidewalk like an idiot, not quite believing what I'd just heard.

Janet and Cassie came up to me so say 'goodbye'.

"Thanks Sam, that was a real help." Janet was saying to me, but I was only half listening.

"Sam?" she repeated, jolting me out of the reverie I was in.

"Hmm? Oh! Yes, right, no problem Janet."

"Sam, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine, just zoned out there for a moment. I'm back now!"

"Well, if you're sure?"

"I am. Listen, are we still on for dinner tomorrow night?"

"We are – see you about six-ish?"

"I'll be there!"

"Right, we'll be off home then – see you tomorrow" and they headed off for their car.

So that's how I got this outfit.

I'm standing in the locker room now, showered and changed, nervously applying mascara. The guys are already waiting for me in the commissary.

That's the problem, only having one changing room. Showering in shifts. The rest of the team are quite good really, they mostly let me go first when they can see I need to, particularly when it's been a messy mission.

I got the call from the Colonel to let me know they were done, hassling me to go get ready, and to meet them in the commissary, then I headed over to the locker room. I've no idea what they've decided is the dress code tonight, but I hope I pass muster.

Finding the note attached to my locker door didn't help my nerves either. I guess the Colonel was last out, unless he wanted Daniel and Teal'c to see this.

"Carter – Looked forward to this all week. Hope you've got the new shirt on? O'N"

'Shirt'? Only a man could call it that!

Still, he doesn't know it's a step away from what I usually wear.

A final look in the mirror decides me. I'm done. Jeans and the blue top with my boots. Its says "I've made an effort, but not too much". A spritz of my favourite perfume and I'm out of the locker room, heading for the commissary.

As I get closer I start to get nervous. Then I remember Teal'c – this is his first time out of base!

How could I be so self centred? I hope the stuff I got him fits all right.

As I walk through the doors I see the three guys sitting nursing coffee mugs.

"Daniel! Happy Birthday!" I cry as he turns.

"Sam! Wow! You look great!" Daniel gets up and meets me halfway across the room.

I give him a kiss on the cheek, and he hugs me.

"You still like your present?"

"I love it – first use is tomorrow morning – will you join me?"

"You bet! I'm glad you like it."

I turn to Teal'c who has joined us.

"Teal'c – are you excited?"

"I am apprehensive Major Carter. However, now I am dressed appropriately, I am confident I will camouflage with the populace"

"I'm pleased everything fits so well Teal'c"

"May I add to Daniel Jackson's appreciation. You look pleasantly different tonight."

I smile at this man before me.

"I'll take that as a compliment Teal'c"

"It was intended as such Major Carter."

I feel a tap on my right shoulder, so I turn and find myself looking at the Colonel.

"Sir!"

"Carter."

"Jack! We're off duty now! Sam does have first name!" Daniel upbraids him.

Why does the Colonel look so nervous?

"I know Daniel. So, er, Sam," he pauses, "nice outfit."

"Thank you si – " out of the corner of my eye I see Daniel's mouth open, "Jack."

"So, good job with Teal'c off duty wardrobe too."

"I'm pleased you all approve!"

"Guys? Birthday? Meal?" Daniel is practically hopping from foot to foot in anticipation.

"Yes – let's move out kids. Teal'c, Danny – you want to lead the way?" The Colonel stretches his hand out to open the commissary door.

Daniel grabs his coat and walks off with Teal'c, although he has to almost jog to keep up with the Jaf'fa's huge strides.

"Carter?"

"Sir?" We both feel more comfortable with this form of address obviously, and it's not a problem, really. Though I do really like it when he calls me by my name, but maybe he'll do that again tonight.

"Shall we follow?"

"Lead on sir"

We walk down the corridor, and just before we catch up with our team-mates at the elevator, he leans over to me and says casually,

"Did you get my post it?"

"I did."

"You, er, didn't leave it there did you?"

"Please sir, it might get you in trouble – no, its in my pocket. Thanks."

"For what?"

"For organising this. Its made this week seem a little less difficult, given me something to look forward to."

"Me too."

"C'mon you two!" Daniel is holding the elevator doors.

We emerge topsides and head towards the Colonel's truck.

On the drive into town, Daniel turns on the radio and surfs the dial for a song he likes.

"Danny – quit it!" Jack knocks his hand from the controls.

"Jack! We don't all like country music! And it is my birthday…."

"Oh, go ahead then Birthday Boy"

Daniel keeps surfing until he cries out in surprise and starts singing – badly.

"Daniel Jackson, are you in pain?" Teal'c is confused by this outburst from our friend.

"Teal'c, its called music!"

Teal'c is not convinced.

"Danny – try that CD" Jack points to the case by the gearshift.

As Daniel removes the silver disk from its case, I suddenly realise that it's mine!

"Colonel – where did you get that?" I ask, trying not to sound too freaked out.

Daniel inserts the disk and Annie Lennox starts to sing "Cold" – it is my CD! The man has been rifling through my lab!

He doesn't even have the grace to blush! He just steers on, grinning at me in the rear view mirror.

"Sir?" I use the tone that will brook no argument, "Have you been in my lab?"

"Okay, I admit it Carter, yes, I have."

"When? Oh, don't tell me. Right after you called me you knew I would head for the shower?"

"I wondered where you went" Daniel says to him, then turns in his seat and looks at me.

"Sam, this is good," he says, waving the box at me, "You work out to this?"

"Nah, she sings along to it…"

This comment can only mean one thing – Colonel Jack O'Neill has been keeping tabs on my out of work activities!

"It's a stress release thing Daniel" I explain.

Somehow I've got away with this potentially embarrassing situation, at least for now. I still can't believe the Colonel would swipe something of mine without asking though.

We arrive at O'Malley's to find it it's usual packed self. Friday and Saturday nights are always busy here; it's like the Base Bar, in a very unofficial way.

As we fight our way to the bar, several people hail us from the crowd.

"Hey Sam!"

"Daniel!"

"Jack!"

I stick by Teal'c, who wades through the masses of people as though they weren't there. I can see he's checking the place over, not for a familiar face, but in case of sudden attack.

We reach the bar, and Jack orders the drinks.

"Danny, a Guinness for your birthday, Sam watcha want?"

"Long Island Tea please"

"T?"

"I do not consume alcohol O'Neill."

"Ah, right. Coke for you then."

I turn to Teal'c.

"So, what do you think?"

The raised eyebrow again.

"I can detect no sign of immediate danger."

"T!" For the sake of not alerting half of the town to his not-quite-human status, we've agreed to adopt the Colonel's name for him, "This is where you come to have a drink, meet with your friends, eat and dance. Don't you have this kinda place at, er, home?"

"Rarely. We were not encouraged to gather in large groups such as this other than for battle or training. Is everyone here to celebrate Daniel Jackson's birth?"

"No, though I don't think he'll be short for a drink all night!"

"I see."

"Kids – your drinks!"

"Thanks sir, sorry, Jack"

"I am grateful O'Neill"

"Our table is gonna be ready in a few. You wanna hang out here?" The Colonel has to shout above the sound of the music.

"Sam – wanna dance?" Daniel puts his drink down.

"Why not. T – will you keep an eye on my drink?"

We head for the dance floor and join in with the mass of people moving to the music. I'm passably good as a dancer, Daniel has a few comedy moves, but manages to hold his own.

We dance a couple of songs through then I feel a tap on my shoulder, it's the Colonel.

"C'mon Ginger and Fred, the table's ready!"

Daniel takes my hand and we walk to the table in a loose embrace.

"Danny, then T, then Sam, then me" Jack sits us down round the table, holding out my chair. I nod my thanks and we dive into the menu, pointing out what's good to Teal'c and explaining what it all means.

The food is ordered, arrives and we eat.

Afterwards, Daniel is asked to dance by one of the female technicians from the base who shyly approaches the table. He agrees and heads to the floor.

"So, T – wanna dance?" I offer.

"I am unfamiliar with this custom Major Carter"

"It's easy. C'mon, sir, you too."

"Carter, my dancing days are over, my knee won't let me! You guys go cut a rug and I'll watch the table."

Teal'c follows me to the floor and stands stock-still.

A new track starts to play, its an eighties classic, one that is on my CD, the one the Colonel has filched for this team outing.

As the sound of Duran Duran's "Reflex" starts to reverberate around us, I can see Teal'c is taking in the moving bodies around him. I dance around him, and finally he starts to move with the music. At first it seems a bit weird, but his moves are kinda slick, fitting the beat perfectly.

"Woah, I'm impressed T" I say as we head back to the table, "Where did you learn to dance like that?"

"The rhythm of this music is very much the same as a training exercise Bra'tac and I used when I was younger. I simply moderated the amount of movement Major Carter."

"Wow. Well, it certainly worked! Did you enjoy that?" I ask.

"It was a strange sensation. This is a Tau'ri custom?"

"I guess so, yes."

"I would be interested to learn more."

"Hey, T, you're keeping your light under a bushel there" the Colonel raises his drink to us, "You too Carter, I didn't know you were such a good dancer!"

"It looks like Daniel is in demand" I nod towards our Birthday boy who is still dancing with the woman who came over.

The music changes again and Paul Davis appears. I'd seen him earlier, in fact, he'd hailed us as we came in, but hadn't got over to talk to him.

"Sir, Sam, and er," he falters, not sure what to call Teal'c.

"Its 'T' for tonight" I help him out.

"Well, good to see you all. I see Dr Jackson is popular?"

"Its his birthday, team night out in celebration" I explain.

"So, Sam, would you like to dance?" Paul asks me.

"Oh, okay, yes," I'm a bit surprised, but why not?

"Great!"

Major Paul Davis is a bit of a dark horse too, because it turns out he can dance quite well too. He spins me round to Santana's "Smooth" and Kirsty MacColl's "In These Shoes?" and I'm almost breathless by the time the tracks end.

"Woah Paul!"

"Oh, sorry!"

"No, no problem! I had no idea you could move like this!"

He has the grace to colour slightly.

"My, er, last girlfriend was into salsa and stuff, I guess I remember more than I thought."

"I need a drink, do you mind? I think I ought to get back to the guys?"

"Thanks for the dance Sam."

"Thank you!" I head back to our table where the Colonel is sitting alone, picking at the label on his bottle.

"Hey sir,"

"You need a sit down after Paul Davis, Carter?"

"Yeah – he's quite a dancer! Hey, where's Teal'c?"

The Colonel points at the dance floor with his bottle.

Teal'c is dancing with nurses from base!

"Wow! Looks like I've lost another dance partner!" I smile and take a deep drink from my water.

I'm pleased Teal'c is enjoying himself, and Daniel is obviously having a great time, his partner has her arms round his neck and he doesn't seem to mind at all.

I'm watching the dance floor, half hoping the Colonel will want to keep talking, but he's noticeably silent behind me.

Finally I turn to find him watching me.

"Sir?"

"Are you having a good time tonight Sam?" he asks me.

"Sure. I don't get out enough, but you know that. What about you?"

"I feel I'm kinda holding you guys back…"

"Sir, you're not at all! Hey, its Daniel's Birthday and he's having a great time, Teal'c's first time out in the real world and look at him!"

"Yes, I am…"

"So, sir, I think you owe me an apology?"

"Carter?"

"Raiding my lab?"

"Ah. Yes."

I raise an eyebrow at him – still waiting for the word 'sorry' to be said.

Instead he takes another pull at his drink, and looks at our friends dancing.

"I have to say I just wanted to know what you were dancing about to the other night."

"You saw me?"

"I was just dropping off a report at Daniel's lab" he pauses as I look, incredulous, at him. When did the Colonel ever read Daniel's reports, let alone return them?

"Okay, I hold my hands up, I was snaffling his coffee supply! Anyway, I saw your lab lights were on and so I thought I'd swing by to see what you were up to."

"Uh-huh. And?"

"You were fairly oblivious there."

"I was?"

"Carter, when you're dancing to music on your Walkman, remember people might be trying to catch your attention?" and he winks at me, "So, I figured I'd like to know, as your commanding officer, what makes you move like that?"

"And now you know?"

"And now I know."

In the background I can hear a familiar song, but even though I like this one, I'm not really listening.

"So, Carter?"

"Yes? Sir?"

"Drop the 'sir' Carter, we're in downtime remember?"

"Okay.."

"So, wanna dance?"

"Oh! I, er, what about your knee?"

"Carter, I think I can manage this." He stands up and comes and stands in front of me. "You wanna take a spin with a man whose knees are older than this track?"

"Sure." I stand up and we make it to the dance floor just in time to start dancing to a song I haven't heard for a long time.

"You know this song?" the Colonel asks me as I start to sing along.

"I love this song, haven't heard it for ages!" I say.

"I think I've got the album!" he shouts at me above the music.

We both dance, a bit awkwardly, but no one else seems to be that bothered. Then I start to hear the Colonel say something, so I say "Sorry?" and realise he's singing along with the track.

"No matter what you do
I will always be around
Won't you tell me what you found, girl
Uh girl, want you

Knock down the old, grey wall
Be a part of it all
Nothing to say, nothing to see, nothing to do
If you would give me all
As I would give it to you
Nothing would be, nothing would be, nothing would be

No matter where you go
There would always be a place
Can't you see it in my face, girl
Oh girl, want you"

The track ends and we both try to leave the dance floor, but its packed and we're hemmed in the middle.

"Looks like we're stuck!" I say as we both realise the fact that we're not going anywhere.

"Sam!" I feel a tap on my shoulder and its Daniel.

"Hey Danny!" the Colonel reaches over and ruffles our friend's hair.

"Jack! Hey, this is great, it's a great birthday!" Daniel hugs me and kisses me on the cheek.

I hug him back, "I'm pleased you're having a good time!"

"Its great!" he repeats grinning at us.

"O'Neill" Teal'c appears through the crowd.

"Hey T" the Colonel cries over the music, "How ya doin?"

"I am well O'Neill. When must we leave this place?"

"Whenever the birthday boy is ready I guess." Jack tells him.

"I never want tonight to end!" cries Daniel.

"Oh boy, Danny? You've had enough I think." Jack pats him on the shoulder and I can see that's true.

Much as I love Daniel he really can't take his drink. Still it is his birthday, but he's not so drunk he won't remember anything about tonight, at least I don't think so.

Teal'c takes his lead from the Colonel and helps us push a path off the dance floor.

"Daniel!" a voice cries out.

We turn and the girl Daniel has been dancing with runs towards him.

"Hi!" he starts to say, but she reaches him, throws her arms around him and proceeds to lay the biggest kiss on him I have seen for an awfully long time.

"So, we, should, er go?" the Colonel is saying, trying to give Daniel some space.

"Yes, we should, look at the time!" I say, staring at my watch.

"Indeed" even Teal'c has caught on.

I notice Daniel and his "friend" have separated.

"Happy Birthday – see you later!" she says, kisses him again and disappears back into the crowd, waving at him.

"Danny boy, you dark horse!" the Colonel teases Daniel mercilessly.

Daniel is obviously a bit stunned by all of this.

"Woah-kay. I think I'm done here…" he says uncertainly.

I can't help it, I giggle at this, and help him find his jacket, which was left draped over the chair at our table.

We meet the Colonel and Teal'c at the door and end up helping Daniel back to his apartment, where he insists we all stop for coffee.

"I will stay with Daniel Jackson" Teal'c volunteers as we watch our host sway in the kitchen.

"I think that would be a good idea. Danny!" The Colonel calls, "Carter and I gotta go now!"

Daniel appears at the door.

"Oh – so soon? It's my birthday, stay a bit longer?"

"Daniel, its 2 in the morning!" I tell him gently.

"Really? Oh, okay, well, drive safely then Jack.." He sits down on the sofa and falls instantly asleep.

"Daniel, Daniel, Daniel" I say, but find a blanket and cover him, taking his glasses off and leaving them on the low table by the sofa. He looks so sweet asleep; I can't help kissing his forehead. "Night Danny"

Teal'c shows us to the door and we make our way back to the Colonel's truck.

The ride back to my house is accompanied by us chatting about the evening and what sort of state Daniel will be in tomorrow.

We draw up at my house.

"Thanks sir, I really appreciate this."

"No problem Carter."

There is an awkward silence while I search for my door key. As I reach for the vehicle door, the Colonel taps me on the shoulder.

"Sir?"

"Carter, your CD. I'm sorry I borrowed it without asking first."

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah, I do. Not my usual thing, but yes, I do."

"Then you keep it sir, I can burn another."

"You sure?"

"Sure. Oh, and sir?"

"Yes?"

"That track we danced to? Well, it's on the half of the CD you haven't heard yet."

"Sweet! I'll, er, watch you get in safe Carter."

"Thanks."

I open the door and slide to the pavement.

"Well, night sir." I say quietly.

"Yeah, night Carter" he replies.

As I close the door the window slides down.

"Sir?"

"Carter?"

"Yes sir?"

He hesitates.

"You look great tonight Sam" he says and smiles at me.

"Thanks you. Jack." I smile back and wave goodnight.

I walk up the path and open my door, switching on the hall light.

I turn round and see him wave and move off from the pavement as I close the door.

The perfect evening?

Maybe.

And its not even my birthday!