Story: Break
Author: Burning Axel
Summary: Love doesn't last forever. Never throw yourself into a relationship expecting not to be hurt. AkuRoku & implied AkuDemy.
Rating: T
Warnings:Suicide, self-harm
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Got it memorized?
Authors Note: Hopefully writing this will stop me from hurting myself. I might continue if anybody seems interested. Oh, and would anybody be interested in recommending me some depressing songs?

Break

The time it took to get the two of us together, the plans our friends constructed, the thought that went into it all... Axel and I were finally a couple. Notice the were. It was only a short time- a year is nothing compared to a lifetime- but the plans we made all revolved around a lifetime together. Of course, there was always that slight sense that I was never good enough for Axel; it seemed hollow when he told me he loved me, and he merely nodded if I said I missed him. Towards the end it seemed like he was making excuses not to see me and just couldn't be bothered spending any time together. He was more interested in Demyx. Demyx, an ex who he spent so much time with and had so many in-jokes that I didn't know about. I told myself it was nothing though and that it was just a close friendship, although I always wondered why Demyx had rejected Zexion halfway through the school year. I found out in the end.

It happened one Friday evening just before the end of summer vacation. Sora and I had spent the whole night before playing video games, and I slept through the entire day. My phone sat underneath my pillow, and it took three rings for me to answer it. "The River" rang through my head, and I immediately knew who it was."Roxas..."
"Huh, Axel? What's wrong?" I answered my cellphone, still drowsy.
"...nothing..." he muttered.
"There's something wrong with you."
"No, it's nothing Roxy. I'll let you go back to sleep."
"No. Tell me now." I was getting angry, and I wasn't willing to let it slide.
"Well... it's just... I think we should see less of each other from now on. I mean, some people are saying... I've gotta go."
There was a click and I realized he had hung up. What the fuck was that about? See less of each other? It was out of the blue; I hadn't seen this one coming. I yelled and threw the phone against the opposite wall, where it hit against one of my poster-covered walls and fell onto a cushion. Angry tears welling up in my eyes, I curled up under my blankets and hid my head underneath my pillows- just like I used to do when my parents fought. I scratched at my left arm, already scarred from the years I had spent cutting- something I hadn't done in a long time. The urge was there, I badly wanted to break open a razor for the blades. Instead I continued scratching and trying to sleep but with no luck. My phone started to ring again half an hour later.
"Roxas."
"What do you want Axel?"
"Look... I'm sorry about earlier. I think you deserve the truth." My stomach sunk. "I've... I've been with Demyx... I'm sorry. I... cheated. And I think we should just end it, it's not working out."
As he continued with some clichéd line about how much I deserved better, I stopped listening.
"I have to go".
My cellphone clicked and once again I threw it at the wall, except with enough force for the back to clip off and the battery to fall out. I reached under my bed and felt around for a small box. A small box I hadn't opened in a year. Tonight was a nice night for destruction.

The next day was like living in a hazy dream. I know I must have managed to get up and get changed, as well as make my way to my mothers car. It's always been tradition in our family to spend the day before school starts together, but this year I couldn't find any sort of way to enjoy myself. I spent the whole day in a world of my own, picking at the wristband on my left wrist and hoping it covered the new cuts that crossed each other beneath, as well as the old scars which had faded to become lines and ridges in my skin. I don't remember much of what we did that day, other than Cloud giving me a sea-salt ice-cream for me while I sat on the grass at a service station, my arms hugging my legs which I had brought up to my chest. My older brother sat next to me as we ate in silence. I felt miserable. So miserable I didn't see a point in continuing to the next day. What's the point? Why do we keep living if all we're bound to experience is hurt and deception? I threw the wooden stick as far across the ground as I could and ran back to the car, tears flowing from my eyes. I felt my twin, Sora, wrap his arms around me and I sobbed angrily into his chest.

I had my plan. I had my razor blades hidden under a towel, and I could just sit in the bathtub and end it. End how miserable I felt once again; finish what I had planned before Axel had appeared and I managed to convince myself everything would be okay. Part of my life had been on hold for a year, and now I could finally get it back on track.
"I'm off for a bath, okay?" I looked at my twin as he played some video game.
"When will you be out?" Sora looked worried. I never bother with baths; just showers.
"I don't know."
I locked the door, climbed in and dug the fresh blade into my left wrist.

I'm getting dizzy now. The bathwater is stained red, and the gashes down my forearms make the scars they cut through seem like accidents in comparison. I close my eyes as I sink below the water and my twin pounds his fists against the door. I'm loosing consciousness as he shouts for Cloud and our parents to get the door open, and telling me to hang on until they all get there. I won't. I'm finished.

Don't wish for happiness. You won't get it.