I can always pretend.
Pretend that I'm happy.
Pretend that I don't cry myself to sleep every night.
Pretend that he loves me.
But will it ever become reality? No, I can't let myself even think that. Because I'm me and he's so… him.
I'm alone, all alone.
oO0Oo
"Nico! I haven't seen you in years!" an overly perky brunette yelled as she tackled me in a hug. It was Hazel, my half-sister on the godly side. Oh yeah, did I mention? I'm the son of one of the Olympian Gods that mortals call myths. They never died, or faded. They simply moved with western civilization.
"Yeah, I guess it has been awhile," I told her while I scratched the back of my neck.
"Why didn't you visit sooner?" she asked me.
"I've been busy," hiding, my mind silently tacked on. I had been avoiding human contact in hopes of getting rid of the feelings that have plagued my heart. In all honesty, I didn't even mean to come to my sister. I had been walking through an airport and decided to get on a random flight, to see where it would take me. I had lost the ability to think about my actions before doing them. I simply floated through life.
"Well now that you're here I insist you stay and visit with me for a while. Frank won't mind if you stay at our house."
I couldn't avoid the pleading look in her eyes so I sighed resignedly and responded with a nod. "I suppose I could stay for a while."
"Yay! I can hardly wait to hang out with you, and show you the town, and just be with my favoritest brother in the world!" she squealed happily.
"I'm your only brother," I replied sarcastically. I can't believe that I remember how to interact with other people.
She just smiled and proceeded to drag me out of the airport and into her car. "You're lucky that I just finished work for today, or else you would be sitting somewhere while I finished up working," she teased. Hazel works at the airport as an accountant. She organizes the flights and makes sure they leave and come in on time. We got into her car and she put the keys into the slot to start up the car. During the ride Hazel rambled on and on about what had been going on with everyone else from her group of friends, namely, the seven of the prophecy. They had all continued training for a while after the war ended and then proceeded to try living in the mortal world. She talked about all of them, except for two.
"What happened to Percy and Annabeth?" I asked her when curiosity got the better of me.
She was quiet for a couple of seconds, as if contemplating how to answer that. "Well, Percy and Annabeth stayed together after the war for a while. Then they got married." I inhaled sharply at this information. "Then, things took a turn for the worse. Annabeth developed breast cancer and the doctors told her she didn't have long to live. Knowing this, she took Percy aside and told him that she wanted her last days on earth to be truthful. She-she told him that she didn't love him as a husband. That she only loved him as a friend. Annabeth said that she had been young and blind as to what love really was until that point. Percy, of course, took this hard. There was his dying wife in front of him telling him that she never loved him. Percy loved Annabeth so he humored her in her final days, he was there for her as a friend, nothing more. She died two weeks later. Percy was hysterical for the longest time, then he just became solemn. He's… broken." Just like me. By now Hazel was balling her eyes out while I held her and tried to comfort her. I was shocked, and trying to swallow all this information. Percy… broken? I couldn't imagine the son of Poseidon like that at all. In that moment, I decided that I had to see Percy Jackson.
oO0Oo
Three Weeks Later
oO0Oo
I told Hazel and Frank that I had to go back to work and left. They seemed very happy together, and I have to admit that I was a tiny bit jealous. They got to be with the person that they loved with no extra difficulties. I, however, have always been alone. I mean, the girls all seemed to swarm around me, but I just don't swing for that team.
I walked down the street a couple houses and walked into an elm tree, well, actually, an elm tree's shadow, and shadow travelled to California. I heard from Hazel and Frank that Percy lives in a small town in California along the beach. I was there now. I walked around, looking at peoples faces so that I wouldn't have to ask around town to find him. The reason I was doing this is because whenever I was around Percy in the past, I always got this fluttery, heart wrenching feeling that most people would call love. I call it death. Although love is far worse than death, just ask Hazel.
I finally stumbled across a building with a sign over it that read Percy's Palace. This is the place, since I don't know anyone else that would make a name that cheesy. I took a deep breath and opened the door. Inside was just about everything that you could possibly think of. There was surfboards, sea shells, bags of sand, sand castle molds, shovels, sand sifters, bathing suits, sunscreen, and a million other beach themed items. But the best thing in the shop was the man sitting behind the desk. He had dark brown, almost on the verge of black hair, tan skin, a muscled build, and beautiful green eyes that sparkled and changed like the ocean. He was reading a book. Wait, what? Percy Jackson was reading?
When he heard the bell on the doorway signal that someone had walked in, he looked up from his book. He looked confused. "Nico?" I almost melted right there. His voice had become deeper and more… husky.
I cleared my throat and responded, "Yeah. It's me."
He got up out of his chair and ran over to me, crushing me in a hug. "I thought you were dead! I swear to the gods that if you ever scare me like that again I will personally kill you," he growled. I looked at him, shock written all over my face. He cared for… me? He pulled back and help me at arms length, as if to make sure that I was still there. "Why? Why did you disappear?" his eyes showed betrayal as he asked me this simple question.
My throat went dry. I knew that he wouldn't believe the same excuse that I gave to Hazel so I decided to tell him part of the truth. "I was scared of my feelings so I ran away." I told him simply.
He thought about it for a couple of seconds and then he frowned. "She's gone," he said quietly. "Annabeth died."
"Oh gods, not you too! I did not like Annabeth!" I defended myself once I understood what he was getting at.
He looked baffled and responded, "What? Then who did you like?"
"No one…" I said quietly.
He seemed to understand that I didn't want to talk about that anymore and instead he uttered a single sentence, "Do you need somewhere to stay?"
I nodded meekly and responded, "Yes, please."
And so that was the beginning of my long term stay in California.