It was the beginning of my fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I had good friends, dangerous enemies, and fun adventures… everything a fifteen-year-old boy could want. Except a girlfriend. However, this didn't really bother me seeing as how I had figured out in the middle of last year that I didn't have any kind of interest in girls. No, rather, my interest fell on males. One male in particular, I must add. However, no one knew about this… yet.
"Moony!" a voice called, stirring me from my half-sleep against the seat and window of out compartment on the Hogwart's Express. I looked over to my side. A very good friend of mine was sitting there. He had slightly long black hair that hung limply around his face, parts of it a bit wavy with summer humidity being what it was. His coal eyes were flickering a bit, silent laughter I had grown to know so well within them.
"What is it, Padfoot?" I muttered quietly, looking over at him with a yawn. I was tried, and I knew that he and my other friend James Potter would not be allowing me any down time once term began.
"You seem out of it today. What's on your mind?"
"Nothing, Sirius."
Damn it. He'd noticed. I had been hoping neither of my friends would be aware of my mood change. Really, I had been praying they'd think it was because of the slowly waning full moon from two nights ago. Well, I'd been questioned, now it was time to delve into denial.
"Something's wrong, and we know it," came another voice, this one belonging to James. "Now, tell us." His amber eyes bore into mine through his glasses, his messy black hair going every which way. I couldn't look him in the eyes very long, looking, instead, out the window quietly, my shoulders giving a shudder as I repeated my answer, "Nothing."
For about half an hour, I listened to them trying to guess what was wrong, and they knew when they struck gold. They mentioned that I might have a crush, and I know my cheeks went a bit pink.
"Who is it?!" they chorused in unison, both popping up in their seats to stare at me. They began listing off girls. Lisa Growth- a Hufflepuff who I had Herbology with and was always begging to be my partner. Samantha Dowe- a Ravenclaw who had basically been stalking me since her second year and my third. Diane Lie- a fellow Gryffindor who I had once accompanied to the Yule Ball. I shook my head to all three. They continued at it, on and on. Finally, I got fed up with them and let something slip that I had never, ever meant to.
"Who says my crush is female?"
Both of them just stared at me. I couldn't believe it myself. I had not wanted them to find that out about me, but oh well; it was out in the open now. It seemed to take them awhile to even regain the ability to speak.
"Okay…" James said slowly, looking none too happy or thrilled about this, but he and Sirius didn't really comment. "Then who is he?" However, I was silent again. They would –kill- me if they knew whom it was. No matter how good of friends we were, they would still strangle me after viciously beating me. Again guesses were made, and soon they seemed to run out of ideas.
"Moony… is it… one of… us?" Sirius said slowly, looking beyond relieved when I shook my head. "But there's no one left except for Malfoy and Snape, and not even you--" He stopped dead in his sentence at seeing my cheeks go a bit red again at this last name, and, before I knew what was happening, he'd kicked me, hard, in the knee.
"What the hell was that for?" I half shouted, one hand going to my knee, which was now throbbing in pain.
"You had better be kidding us!" He said, just staring at me like I'd grown an extra head. A kick in the knee was better than any reaction I'd expected. I had my reasons for this, of course.
Severus Snape was the worst enemy of Sirius, James, Peter, and I. Well, at least the first three. I put up with the others' childish pranks, but I rarely participated fully myself. One of my main purposes was to just turn a blind eye to whatever they did to any of the Slytherins, really.
"I'm not," I whispered under my breath, and I felt James' hand come across my face, his knuckles striking my jaw. I didn't even really flinch. Thankfully it didn't draw blood. I had a feeling more incrimination was going to come, except for the fact that our compartment door slammed open, and there was a collective groan from all three of us at who was standing there.
In the doorway was a tall young man about our age, give or take a few months. He was taller than all of us except for James, and even that was a close call. He had deep onyx eyes that seemed to look through someone rather than at them, and his slightly slicked back raven hair clung a bit to his gaunt, pale face. He was built very leanly, and he was clad in all black robes. Though they were required for students during term, they were also his trademark. I never once can remember seeing him in anything but that in anywhere vaguely public.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't you three," he hissed, narrowing his eyes dangerously. I had no doubt he was looking for the rest of his Slytherin gang and had just wandered upon us by pure accident.
"Keep walking if you want to keep that ability," James snapped, narrowing his eyes at this one.
"Yeah Snape, we don't let your kind keep in our presence. The likes of you make us sick," Sirius interjected, his own eyes narrowing, he and Severus meeting glares with venomous looks. It was hard to tell who hated who more.
"Any comment from –you-, Lupin?" he snarled quietly, watching me with a narrowed eye.
Any comment? Yes, I had a comment to make. I wanted to tell Sirius and James to scram. I wanted to invite him to sit down with me. I wanted to confess to him just what I thought of him, how I could hardly breathe when I looked him in the eyes, how I wanted to feel his hand against my cheek, how I wanted to know what it was like to have his lips against mine.
"Get out," I muttered calmly as I found my voice, not even sparing him a glance. "James is right. Your kind aren't welcome here." He shot me a look of pure contempt, but he knew better than to take all three of us, or at least two since I usually just stayed out of physical or wand fights, at once. As he strode out, and Sirius and James contented themselves to pretending I hadn't confided in them how I felt about him, I smiled inside of myself.
I could always tell him next year.
"Moony!" a voice called, stirring me from my half-sleep against the seat and window of out compartment on the Hogwart's Express. I looked over to my side. A very good friend of mine was sitting there. He had slightly long black hair that hung limply around his face, parts of it a bit wavy with summer humidity being what it was. His coal eyes were flickering a bit, silent laughter I had grown to know so well within them.
"What is it, Padfoot?" I muttered quietly, looking over at him with a yawn. I was tried, and I knew that he and my other friend James Potter would not be allowing me any down time once term began.
"You seem out of it today. What's on your mind?"
"Nothing, Sirius."
Damn it. He'd noticed. I had been hoping neither of my friends would be aware of my mood change. Really, I had been praying they'd think it was because of the slowly waning full moon from two nights ago. Well, I'd been questioned, now it was time to delve into denial.
"Something's wrong, and we know it," came another voice, this one belonging to James. "Now, tell us." His amber eyes bore into mine through his glasses, his messy black hair going every which way. I couldn't look him in the eyes very long, looking, instead, out the window quietly, my shoulders giving a shudder as I repeated my answer, "Nothing."
For about half an hour, I listened to them trying to guess what was wrong, and they knew when they struck gold. They mentioned that I might have a crush, and I know my cheeks went a bit pink.
"Who is it?!" they chorused in unison, both popping up in their seats to stare at me. They began listing off girls. Lisa Growth- a Hufflepuff who I had Herbology with and was always begging to be my partner. Samantha Dowe- a Ravenclaw who had basically been stalking me since her second year and my third. Diane Lie- a fellow Gryffindor who I had once accompanied to the Yule Ball. I shook my head to all three. They continued at it, on and on. Finally, I got fed up with them and let something slip that I had never, ever meant to.
"Who says my crush is female?"
Both of them just stared at me. I couldn't believe it myself. I had not wanted them to find that out about me, but oh well; it was out in the open now. It seemed to take them awhile to even regain the ability to speak.
"Okay…" James said slowly, looking none too happy or thrilled about this, but he and Sirius didn't really comment. "Then who is he?" However, I was silent again. They would –kill- me if they knew whom it was. No matter how good of friends we were, they would still strangle me after viciously beating me. Again guesses were made, and soon they seemed to run out of ideas.
"Moony… is it… one of… us?" Sirius said slowly, looking beyond relieved when I shook my head. "But there's no one left except for Malfoy and Snape, and not even you--" He stopped dead in his sentence at seeing my cheeks go a bit red again at this last name, and, before I knew what was happening, he'd kicked me, hard, in the knee.
"What the hell was that for?" I half shouted, one hand going to my knee, which was now throbbing in pain.
"You had better be kidding us!" He said, just staring at me like I'd grown an extra head. A kick in the knee was better than any reaction I'd expected. I had my reasons for this, of course.
Severus Snape was the worst enemy of Sirius, James, Peter, and I. Well, at least the first three. I put up with the others' childish pranks, but I rarely participated fully myself. One of my main purposes was to just turn a blind eye to whatever they did to any of the Slytherins, really.
"I'm not," I whispered under my breath, and I felt James' hand come across my face, his knuckles striking my jaw. I didn't even really flinch. Thankfully it didn't draw blood. I had a feeling more incrimination was going to come, except for the fact that our compartment door slammed open, and there was a collective groan from all three of us at who was standing there.
In the doorway was a tall young man about our age, give or take a few months. He was taller than all of us except for James, and even that was a close call. He had deep onyx eyes that seemed to look through someone rather than at them, and his slightly slicked back raven hair clung a bit to his gaunt, pale face. He was built very leanly, and he was clad in all black robes. Though they were required for students during term, they were also his trademark. I never once can remember seeing him in anything but that in anywhere vaguely public.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't you three," he hissed, narrowing his eyes dangerously. I had no doubt he was looking for the rest of his Slytherin gang and had just wandered upon us by pure accident.
"Keep walking if you want to keep that ability," James snapped, narrowing his eyes at this one.
"Yeah Snape, we don't let your kind keep in our presence. The likes of you make us sick," Sirius interjected, his own eyes narrowing, he and Severus meeting glares with venomous looks. It was hard to tell who hated who more.
"Any comment from –you-, Lupin?" he snarled quietly, watching me with a narrowed eye.
Any comment? Yes, I had a comment to make. I wanted to tell Sirius and James to scram. I wanted to invite him to sit down with me. I wanted to confess to him just what I thought of him, how I could hardly breathe when I looked him in the eyes, how I wanted to feel his hand against my cheek, how I wanted to know what it was like to have his lips against mine.
"Get out," I muttered calmly as I found my voice, not even sparing him a glance. "James is right. Your kind aren't welcome here." He shot me a look of pure contempt, but he knew better than to take all three of us, or at least two since I usually just stayed out of physical or wand fights, at once. As he strode out, and Sirius and James contented themselves to pretending I hadn't confided in them how I felt about him, I smiled inside of myself.
I could always tell him next year.