Forever Yours
Bella Swan/Jasper Whitlock
Rating: Teen
Fandom: Twilight
Damaged
It had been two months since Edward Cullen left her alone in the woods. Her depression had consumed her for the past two months, she was just thankful that today was a Saturday, it meant she didn't have to go to school and force a smile on her face all day, she just had to make it through until her father left to go to Billy's to go fishing.
It was five in the morning and she couldn't seem to fall back asleep, her mind felt empty but it wouldn't stop running long enough for her to go back to sleep. She remembered that Renee had gone through a fitness kick and had given Bella most of her DVDs when she chose to move, when Bella in a moment of weakness agreed to take them and her yoga mat and exercise ball. She rummaged through her DVDs that were placed in a drawer in her desk, finding a total body work out DVD that was focused on toning and firming up her body. She then dug into her closet and found the yoga mat, laying it out on her bedroom floor before placing the DVD in her laptop and then changing into a pair of yoga pants and a tank top that looked like it had had better days. When she finished the forty minute workout she felt sore but it felt decent as she hopped into the shower to ease some of the ache of her muscles.
By the time Bella stepped out of the shower her father had already left to go fishing with his best friend, Billy Black. It had been a while since he felt she was safe enough to leave alone but she knew he had every reason to worry about her but she also know that she had started to come out of the dark despair she had allowed herself to sink into.
Truth be told she wasn't doing any better than she had been two months ago. Truth be told the giant hole that was within her heart was still there. Truth be told she wasn't sure she would ever get over the gaping hole that was within her chest but she had gotten better at hiding it.
Her day always started early, she couldn't seem to bring herself to sleep in because of the nightmare. Her day usually started with making a pot of coffee that was required to get her through the first half of her morning. From there she scrubbed the kitchen clean, it didn't matter that she had cleaned it thoroughly the night before after dinner.
From there she would start on making breakfast; glad for an excuse to mess the kitchen up again so she would have another chance to clean and let out some of the built up frustration that she should have been feeling; if she had felt anything at all that day. Since he had left her, it seemed that the hole that was in her heart would never heal; that there was nothing that would take the pain away from her.
As she pulled the eggs from the fridge she cursed herself as they almost slipped from her hands, startling herself when she managed to catch them in the blink of the eye; now that was not usual Bella behavior. Bella thought it was odd but she had noticed it over the past two months; she was sure it had something to do with being bitten by James but she was never one hundreded percent sure. Since then however her clumsiness had almost dissipated, she could hear conversations when she should have been a few steps outside of normal hearing range. She could see her father clearly when he walked up to the house one day through the rain when she knew logically she shouldn't be able to see him.
She shook her head to clear it of such unwanted thoughts before starting to boil the water for the boiled eggs she would eat with her toast for breakfast. When he had first left she could hardly bring herself to eat; know wasn't much better than before but she knew that she had to eat to appease her father. That meant at least four hundred calories a meal; while her breakfast wasn't quiet up the four hundred calorie limit it was close enough that her father would at least be happy that she had attempted to eat.
A glance at her watch told her it was only going on nine am. That meant she had a few hours before Charlie would get home which would give her plenty of time to finish cleaning the house before slipping out the door to head into Port Angeles to check out the two bookstores the town boasted.
Unfortunately Bella overestimated how long it would take her to clean the house and when she finished cleaning the house in right under two hours she shook her head before running up to her room to pull some cash out of a cash-box that she hadn't touched in months. A glance into the cash-box however had her nearly doubling over. The amount in her cash-box had over quadrupled. She knew for a fact she had only put nine hundred dollars in there, now however there was almost close to fifteen thousand dollars sitting in her lock box. Taking a shaking breathe she knew a Cullen had to be involved in this and there was only one suggestion as to who would do such a thing and she couldn't bear to think his name.
When she pulled the tightly bound wad of cash out she saw a note that fell out; with shaking hands she unfolded the tightly folded note, surprised she didn't recognize the handwriting.
There are no strings attached to this. Enjoy yourself
J. Whitlock
She didn't remember knowing anyone by the last name of Whitlock but she had a feeling it was Jasper. Although he was quiet and reserved he noticed more due to being an empathy. She felt extremely guilty that she had cut herself in front of her entire coven of vampires but like Edward had said it was something that was bound to happen.
Thinking of his name made her grimace. It hurt it still hurt a lot but it was getting better with time. Knowing from what little time she had spent around Jasper however, the more he learned he was a strategist. It took close to ten thousand to start a new life; the extra five was probably there as a buffer in case she wasn't able to locate a job if it came down to it.
She pulled out the two hundred she had planned on pulling out before placing the rest back into the lock-box and placing it back underneath. It kind of surprised her that he left her the money for her but there was always the chance the she would need the money.
She had only heard the name Whitlock on one other occasion and it had been something she shouldn't have been able to hear. It was one of the few times that Jasper and Alice had fought and it had been right before they had left her abandoned. It had gone from loud and furious until Bella had made it to the floor that they shared with Edward's room. As she passed their room she had heard her hiss out Jasper Whitlock. From there she had assumed they had left the house to avoid being heard in an argument.
Jasper had to of known that there was a chance they were leaving. He had to have known that there would be a chance that Bella would need the money but was the reason behind this very generous gift?
The rest of the weekend had Bella having less sleep than she had previously had. She woke up screaming several times Saturday night. Sunday had been even worse she managed maybe three hours of sleep all together as she woke up screaming; not being able to remember her dreams that caused her such horrible pain. Her father had long since stopped coming into her room to check on her as she screamed out her soul. He did still come as far as her bedroom door most nights for the first three or four screams but after that he managed to stay in his own bed or on the couch, depending on how bad of a night it was for her screams.
She had learned keeping herself busy was the only way to keep the nightmares at bay. The more work she did during the day the more solidly sleep that night; or the more solidly she slept in longer chunks of time rather.
Most nights she was so mentally and physically exhausted she never felt the wave of lethargy that would coax her to sleep for the first time each night.