This is another version of You Know What, Potter? I Love You. This one has an extra part in it later and James gets a bit Out Of Character. :-( Unavoidable. There are two spots in here where they send numerous letters in a row without the other person responding, it might get confusing, but it doesn't last long. :-)
Once again,
Lily
James
Enjoy!
Please Read! I don't know anything about Mongolia, so I apologize if I offend anyone. :-(
Potter,
I BLAME YOU FOR THIS NONSENCE! IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU SETTING MCGONAGALL'S WIG ON FIRE, SHE WOULD HAVE IGNORED THE FACT THAT HER ROBES HAD TURNED FLORECENT PINK! SO IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT WE'RE STUCK IN OUR DORMATORIES!
Evans, Will you go out with me?
When HELL freezes over, Potter!
Is that a yes or a no?
It's a heck no, Potter! And you had better learn some manners!
I do have manners; I just choose not to use them.
Yeah, right.
I do. When I met the Prime Minister last summer, I was very polite and cordial.
YOU MET THE PRIME MINISTER AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME?
Why would I tell you anything?
I'm not going to dignify that with a response.
Because you don't have one.
Obviously! So when did you meet the Prime Minister?
Last summer, my dad took me to the Ministry, when they told him to go take something to the Prime Minister's office. He decided just to take me too.
Oh. So…do you do a lot of stuff with your dad?
Not much, he's an Auror.
Oh.
You're saying 'Oh' a lot.
I just realized how little I know about you.
What's to know? I was born in a little village in Mongolia, my family moved to England when Dad got a job at the Ministry, I've been raised in London since I was four, I've known about magic all my life. When I was 11 I got my letter, I saw you, instantly fell in love with you, was scorned by you, and set McGonagall wig on fire, ending up right here, right now, writing you a letter while we're locked in our towers. What about you?
You're life is a lot more exciting than mine. I was born in Liverpool, I was raised in Liverpool, never knew about magic, grew up in a muggle family, got teased by all of the muggle kids because I always got all of the questions right in class, got called teacher's pet more than once, shocked my family when I got my letter at age 11, saw you, had a crush on you for about thirty seconds—right up until the moment you used the Sorting Hat for a Frisbee—and I've hated you every since. Unfortunately, I decided to play my 'Senior Prank' on Professor McGonagall the same time you decided to play yours, resulting in the both of us getting locked in our towers.
You had a crush on me?
For thirty seconds!
I remember when I threw the Sorting Hat across the Great Hall! Good times, good times.
(Purses lips in a disciplinary fashion)
Nice. So…your family is all muggles?
Every single one. I thought you would know, seeing as you're always 'rescuing' me from Snape who always calls me a…well, you know.
Ah, yes, I hate that—that—that thing!
James Timothy Potter!
(Pales) How did you find out about my middle name?
Sirius told me…in exchange for something.
What?
A date with one of his friends, so far he hasn't collected.
That's what it was!
What was?
Sirius said that he had 'come across a new way for you to hook up with Evans'. I thought he had meant something he read in one of those muggle magazines. Now I see it was through the deal you had with him.
Sirius reads muggle magazines?
You don't want to see them, trust me. He showed them to me once. There is one page that has tips on how to get a girl. The other twenty-odd pages are full of photos of women who 'aren't wearing much', if you catch my drift.
Drift caught.
Good.
I was just rereading the notes you sent and I realized some things. (A) Neither of us signs our names nor addresses our notes so they may be called letters. (B) YOU WERE BORN IN MONGOLIA!
So?
Mongolia is a mountainous country full of poverty that is halfway around the world from us!
No, halfway around the world is New Zealand. Mongolia is more like a quarter of the way around the world.
Now who's being the smarty-pants?
I'm not being a smarty-pants. It's just that my parents got me a globe for Christmas and I haven't been able to find a use for it except as a Quaffle. Unfortunately, it falls faster than a Quaffle. :-(
That's because Quaffles are charmed to fall slower, dummy. : p
I am not a dummy, Lillian!
That's not my name.
Oh.
Now who's saying 'Oh' a lot?
Me.
Correct! Give that boy a gold star!
Are you being sarcastic? I never can tell when people are writing letters notes.
Dear James Potter,
I think we should start writing letters, what do you think?
Lily
To The Most Beautiful Lily Of Them All,
Sure! It gives me the opportunity to practice my flattery.
James
To The Most Arrogant, Pigheaded Jerk I've Ever Known,
Your flattery's just fine. No go find someone who will reciprocate your feelings.
Annoyed,
Lily
To The Fairest Flower In A Flower Garden,
The only one I want to reciprocate my feelings is you!
James
P.S. I don't have feelings for any of the other girls to reciprocate!
P.P.S. Will you go out with me?
P.P.P.S. If the answer to the above question is no, please enclose a long and detailed list of why not.
To The Most Annoying Boy On Planet Earth,
Two words. To. Bad.
Lily
P.S. Sure.
To The Most Stubborn Girl I've Ever Met,
I didn't see a detailed list!
James
To The Most Overlooking Boy I've Ever Come In Contact With,
I suggest you reread the post-script on my last letter.
Amused,
Lily
To The Girl Who Hurts My Pride More Than A Stampede Of Elephants Could Hurt My Body,
Sorry.
Ashamed,
James
To The Most Bemusing Boy On The Earth Who I'm Going To Be Going Out With Sometime After We're Let Out Of Our Towers,
You have got to read the letters better!
Finished Admonishing,
Lily
To Lily, The Most Beautiful Flower In The Milky Way,
I know, I know.
James
P.S. Do you really think I'm an arrogant, pigheaded jerk?
P.P.S. Are you ever finished admonishing me for something?
To Potter, Who Couldn't Make A Pot To Save His Life,
Do you really know?
Lily
P.S. No.
P.P.S. No.
P.P.P.S. What do you think of my greeting?
P.P.P.P.S. I really liked your greeting about a stampede of elephants.
To Lily, Who Stole My Heart The First Time Our Eyes Met,
We really need to get the conversation moving a bit more.
James
P.S. That's good.
P.P.S. No comment.
P.P.P.S. Very original.
P.P.P.P.S. I liked that one, too.
To James, Who Set McGonagall's Wig On Fire,
Why don't we discuss the nicknames of you and your friends?
Moony Remus Lupin
Wormtail Peter Pettigrew
Padfoot Sirius Black
Prongs James Potter
The Marauders Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs Remus, Peter, Sirius, James
Bemused,
Lily
P.S. Hurt That's all you are going to say about my greeting?
To The Woman Who Leaves Me Shaking My Head In Disbelief,
I can explain!
James
P.S. What if I say I loved it?
To The Man Who Says He Can Explain, But Then Won't,
Then explain it!
Lily
P.S. Do you love it more or less than you love me? (Shocked at her own daring)
To The Woman Who Doesn't Trust Me To Have A Good Explanation,
Sirius came up with them!
James
P.S. Less then you of course, I love you a lot more than a simple greeting! (Shocked and pleased at Lily's daring)
To The Man Who Thinks A Good Explanation Involves Blaming His Friend,
That doesn't explain where he came up with them! Even Sirius can't just spontaneously come up with nicknames! He needs material to work with. Now, where did he get that material? (Pointed look)
Lily
P.S. I'm glad. I would hate to be out-loved by my greeting! (Smug smile)
To The Woman Who Leaves Me Sweating To Come Up With An Excuse That Will Leave Me Free To Not Betray My Friends' Trust,
See above greeting.
Sweating,
James
P.S. I'm glad that you're glad. You being glad makes me glad.
To The Exasperating Man Who Tries Not To Answer A Question That Was Accompanied By A Pointed Look,
Stop sweating and just tell me, or I will hex you so bad, you won't be able to have posterity! (Waves wand threateningly)
Lily
P.S. I'm glad my being glad can bring such joy to you.
To The Woman Who Threatens My Reproductive System,
(Gulps nervously while glancing around) If I tell you, you have got to promise not to tell anyone, or even tell anyone that you know.
Worried,
James
P.S. :-)
To The Man Whose Actions Force Me To Threaten His Reproductive System,
I promise.
Lily
P.S. :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) I can smile more than you!
To The Woman Who Wants Me To Break A Marauders' Vow,
Do you swear on the lives of your future grandchildren?
Really Worried,
James
To The Man Who Exasperates Me To No End,
YES, I, Lily Evans, swear upon the lives of my future grandchildren, that what will be now disclosed to me will never be repeated, save permission by three of the four Marauders.
Lily
To The Woman Who Astonishes Me By Knowing Exactly What To Say To Take A Marauders' Vow,
All right. Remus is a werewolf.
Wincing,
James
To The Man Who Has Interesting Friends,
Is that all? You made me take a Marauders' Vow for that?
Lily
To The Woman Who Seems To Know Everything,
What do you mean, 'is that all'?
Bemused,
James
To The Man Who Sorely Underestimates The Intelligence Of Man As A Species,
I've known that for ages! Now, that explains Moony, but what about Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs? They sound like names you would use for your rat, dog, and stag. But you wouldn't happen to be illegal animagi, would you? Of course not, what am I saying, you wouldn't do that, would you, Jamisy-Wamisy?
Lily
To The Woman Who Makes Me Uncomfortable With Her Constant Questions,
Well, about that… Lily, we are. I can turn into a stag, Sirius into a dog, and Peter into a rat.
Bracing for the outburst about rule-breaking to follow his pronouncement,
James
Again, To The Man Who Sorely Underestimates The Intelligence Of Man As A Species,
Again, I've known that for ages! In fact, I think half of Gryffindor Tower knows about Remus!
Lily
To The Woman Who Seems To Have All Of The Information That I Don't,
What was that about Remus?
James
To The Man Who Knows Nothing Outside Of Quidditch,
Half of Gryffindor Tower knows about Remus.
Becoming Impatient With The Repetition,
Lily
To The Woman Who Enjoys Deflating My Head,
Sorry, I just couldn't believe it; it took two times for it to sink in.
James
To The Man Who Needs To Get His Head Deflated On A Regular Basis,
Do you know what, Potter; sometimes your actions are a little endearing. I remember when you left those flowers on my bed. Their pollen made me sneeze for a week, but it was very thoughtful.
Lily
To The Woman Who Thinks All Good Things Were Done By Me,
It wasn't me, it was Sirius. He enchanted those flowers to make you sneeze.
James
To The Man Whose Friend Made Me Sneeze On Arthur Weasley,
It was Sirius? When McGonagall lets me out, Black's head will roll. I really liked Arthur too!
Being An Angry Redhead,
Lily
To The Woman Who Exsasperates Me By Finding Me Endearing, Yet Being Angry When My Friend Made Her Brake Up With Another Guy,
See above greeting.
Exasperated,
James
To The Man Who Is Cuter Than His Last Name,
I'm sorry, it's just, Arthur was my first crush that lasted more than thirty seconds and I really liked him, and it seemed like he understood me more than anyone else.
Lily
To The Woman Whose Greeting Made No Sense At All,
Lily, (gently) I understand you too. I know what it's like to be ridiculed as 'teacher's pet'—how do you think I get such easy detentions? I really like you, Lils. I think I may even love you. (Briskly) Besides, isn't Weasley dating Molly Prewitt?
James
To The Man Who…Um…To James Potter,
You are so confusing! I can't tell whether you are gently and caring, or proud and cocky. You sound so much like the former, but from six and a half years of expirence, you are the latter.
Confused,
Lily
To Lily Evans,
I'd like to think I was the former, but I'm probably more of the latter.
Ashamed,
James Potter
James,
Well, in your opinion, which half of your personality is the dominant part?
Lily
To Lily Evans,
I believe that I may be more cocky than anything.
James Potter
James,
I don't think you're that cocky, just more high strung and used to attention.
Lily
P.S. Don't you feel sorry for this owl?
To Evans,
I don't think you're correct, I think that I am unfixable and I am just cocky and proud and I'm staying that way. Don't contact me again. You don't have to go on a date with me.
Potter
P.S. The owl's going to feel better now, isn't he?
James,
What has gotten into you? I demand an answer! You are fixable, James. Everyone is redeemable. You're not that cocky and proud. I like you just the way you are. I am not going to just stop talking to you because you said so. I am going to go on that date with you!
Lily
James Potter! Where are you?
Lily
James Timothy Potter,
You are going to pick up your quill right now and answer me before I do something like throw myself out of this window. You should probably be able to see my mangled remains from your window. That will cheer you up, won't it?
Lily Evans
Jumping in three.
Jumping in two.
Jumping in one.
Jumping in now. Good bye, Potter.
Lily?
Lily? Are you there?
Lily? Did you actually jump? I thought you were just joking.
Lily? Answer me!
Lily Marie Evans,
If you do not answer right now, I am going to jump onto my Comet 360 and go see you. I know you are there because I haven't seen your mangled remains from my window.
James Potter
Jeeze James! It was just a joke after you didn't answer me for so long. I wasn't ever going to jump. I would never jump. You are too misunderstood for me to jump and leave you alone in this cold, cruel world. 8-) By the way, I think you're totally redeemable and fixable. You aren't that bad. Tolerable even. In fact…Do you know what, Potter, I think I love you.
Shocked At The Fact That She Actually Does Love James 'Bigheaded Git' Potter,
Lily
To The Woman Who Rocks Me To The Core With Her Proclamations,
I didn't know that, but I think I just found a woman who actually thinks me redeemable. I love you, Lily.
James
To The Man I Love,
I love you. I, Lily Marie Evans, loves James Timothy Potter.
Lily
To The Woman Who Steals My Breath As She Stole My Heart,
I can't believe that after x number of years of hating me, you are actually in love with me!
James
This Letter Is For The Love Of My Life,
(Reels back and punches the receiver of this letter in the nose, effectively breaking it) That's for siding with Sirius Black after he made me sneeze on Arthur Weasley!
Lily
To The Woman Who Loves Me As I Love Her,
(Looks at Lily with a sad and stricken expression as he clutches his bleeding nose) I'm sorry, Lily. I didn't know Sirius had done that until you came out of the girl's dormitory sneezing and Sirius burst into laughter. (Looks ashamed) My friends are as unredeemable as I am.
Wallowing In Self-Pity,
James
James,
You are redeemable! How many times do I have to tell you that? (Heaves a deep sigh) If it means saying Sirius Black is redeemable too, I guess he might be fixable.
Lily
Lils,
I must say, I am not worthy of you.
Bemused About How He Snagged The Most Perfect Woman On Earth,
James
Jamie,
You are most worthy of me and I must say, I am wondering that too. But, I guess you 'snagged' me by forcing me to fall in love with you.
Lily
Lils,
When did you get forced into anything?
James
Jamisy-Wamisy,
I was forced into falling for you when you cast a spell on me.
Lily
Lils,
What spell?
James
Jamie,
(In shock that James hasn't realized it yet and she's going to say something very cliche) The spell of your love of course!
Lily
Lil,
I love you.
Beamused,
James
James,
Why are you so bemusead all the time?
Lily
Lil,
'Cause after McGonagall locked us in here, you blamed it all on me and now I'm actually glad to accept the blame.
James
James,
I love you.
Lily
Lil,
I love you.
James
Jamie,
I love you.
Lily
Lils,
I love you.
James
To The Man Who I Love, And Who Loves Me,
Is that all we can say to each other?
Lily
To The Woman I Love More Than Life,
No, I can say one other thing. Will you marry me?
James
To My Fiancée,
Yes.
Lily