" If Only For A Little While"
To some the sun is loved, cherished. Tis' invigorating and welcoming, bringing brightness and elatement. The sun and the light it brings is enjoyed by many, I cannot say that the large number includes me. I do not wish for the sunlight, nor do I welcome it. I wish it would not rise where I can see. I pray it will stop trying to find me. It hurts me though it does not understand why or how, not even I understand my reasoning for wanting to be in the darkness, and out of the suns indulgent rays. Though I cannot understand my reasoning, I understand my feelings. Stepping into the bright sun is stepping into an interrogation room, having a bright desk lamp shown on your ashamed face. It is trying to have a peaceful sleep under impossible circumstances, wanting to fall into slumber, but not being able to because of the bright light taunting you just outside of your eye lids. It is laying in the angry beams of light when all your body thirst for is a tint of shade to hide itself in, just for a moment or two..... it is not being able to shield oneself, being spread out for everyone to see, every hint of yourself that you wish to keep buried within you is placed on the surface of your skin. Pressing down on every part of your body, making it hard to breath... I do hope that the sun will hear my pleas, for I do not wish to endure such pain. I would like to lay in the deepest shadow of myself, until all this heart shattering pain is taken away, and is replaced by a cool mist that covers me in a thin, gentle quilt, and lets my heart rest itself, if only for a little while.......