What do you get when you combine Jenova Cells, a 20-week-old fetus, lots of Mako and crazy Shinra scientists?

Me.

I bet most of you were planning on saying Sephiroth right? Well, unfortunately you're wrong! He's not the only genetically modified semi-Ancient person with super-human abilities. No...there's a new kid on the block! I have all the same abilities he does, I am just as stong, I'm twice as cool and I'm not the tiniest bit afraid of him! He's been floating around on his high horse just a bit too long, and I'm here to show him a little taste of reality.

Prepare yourself, Sephiroth. There's competition in the mix.

Game On.

***

Lazard...Lazard, Lazard...where is that office? Maybe I'm on the wrong-ah! Here we go!

I stopped dead in my tracks, seeing the frosted glass door with lettering on it.

Shinra SOLDIER Director.

Lazard Deusericus

I read the words several times, slowly, so that I knew I was in the right place. I was...nervous. I mean, when you're requested to be the first female candidate for SOLDIER, it's a pretty big deal...especially when I will get to go on missions with the "greatest" 1st Class SOLDIER ever...note the sarcasm. Yeah, yeah I know what you're gonna say! Sephiroth is a hero, he saves lives, fights for the good of the Planet, against evil or some shit...Blah, blah blabbity blah! I tell you what else Sephiroth does. He insults people, he snobs them off, he kills innocent people when Shinra clicks its fingers, he acts like he's sooo much better than people who admire him, he-actually...I'm gonna cut myself off right there because I could go on all day and then some! Right now, I am standing in the corridor with my hand on the door knob, insulting Sephiroth in my head...

Snapping out of my daze, I opened the door.

"Uh...Director Deusericus?" I called, looking around the large, conferance style room.

"Miss Albright! Welcome!" Lazard called, raising his head from a stack of papers. He stood to greet me, shaking my hand with a smile. "Nice to see you arrived safely."

I nodded. "Yeah...pretty rough trip though. Gongaga isn't exactly close. Here are my papers, Director. I filled them out as required."

The blonde man nodded and gave a quick chuckle.

"Please, Miss Albright. Just call me Lazard."

I nodded again, smiling politely. I handed him the small stack of paperwork that contained all my information. My parents, my birthplace, experiments performed on me, and there was even a journal with detailed records of my progress as a fetus and child.

The latter of which I had sworn Lazard to keep under lock and key at all times unless directed so by me.

Once all the official work was completed, Lazard handed me a folded black uniform. SOLDIER attire...

"Now, Miss Albright. We had the uniform tailored to fit you a little bit better. Men's attire wouldn't be very comfortable for you I suppose." he smiled, "There is a room over there you can change in."

I thanked him and went into the small room, changing into the new outift. Unfortunately this meant I had to remove my favourite black cargos and my beloved blue turtleneck. These were replaced with black, loose fitting heavy cotton pants, a high necked, fine knitwear tank top in the same colour, steel shoulder plates and the trademark Shinra SOLDIER belt and shoulder strap.

I stuffed my other clothes into the travel bag I carried, and exited the room. I saluted Lazard and thanked him. Then I turned to leave.

"Oh, and Miss Albright!" he called suddenly.

I turned, halfway out the door. "Yeah?"

"Welcome to Shinra SOLDIER 1st Class."

***

Let me tell you something...finding the Briefing Room was just a teensy bit harder than I had expected. See, I'm not good with directions. I can't tell left and right without looking at my hands first, and I don't remember names of places very well.

On a positive note, I found the cafeteria with apparent ease. Trust my stomach to find food. Hehe...

It took me half an hour to finally locate the elusive Briefing Room, and when I did, my feet were aching. I still hadn't properly broken in the SOLDIER boots, though they were otherwise pretty comfortable.

I made my way through the door, dumped my bag onto the floor of the little room and headed towards the next door. It slid open easily and revealed a small conference room. Sitting in the seats were Tseng of the Turks (I was familiar with him), 1st Class General Angeal, a young man about my age with spiky black locks...and him.

The smug, silver haired 1st Class "Legend" whom I had never met, and had hoped to keep it that way.

All four of them were staring at me.

"Uh...hi?" I muttered, giving them a quick two finger salute. Tseng stood up to introduce me.

"Gentlemen, meet Alexis Albright. The first woman to be accepted to SOLDIER as a 1st Class candidate. Miss Albright, a little information about yourself if you please." The dot on his head was annoying me already. I really wanted to poke it...but resisted the urge.

"Thanks Tseng. Hey there everyone. Um...Let's see...uh-I'm 21 this October, I really like spicy food, all my friends call me Lex..." I paused and put a finger on my chin, trying to think of some other facts about myself, "...I was born in Nibelheim, but I moved to Gongaga when I was 15-"

"Hey! You're from Gongaga?! Me too!" The guy with the spiky black hair stood from his seat with a grin. "So you're a country girl huh?"

I gave a laughed and headed to my seat, next to him. "Yeah, I guess I am. What's your name?"

"Zack Fair! Best 1st Class SOLDIER there ever was!" he exclaimed smugly.

"Hardly." Sephiroth muttered snidely. At this comment, I turned and glared at him.

"That's rich, coming the man with the long girly hair." I snapped.

I noticed Tseng, Angeal and Zack's eyes all widen a little at my comment.

The silver haired man narrowed a glare at me, causing me to snort.

"You're gonna have to glare at me a lot harder to scare me, Kiddo." I laughed. Then I turned my attention to Tseng. "So, Turk! What's my first assignment!"

"Kiddo?" I heard Sephiroth mutter under his breathe. His jade eyes never stopped burning at me through the whole Briefing.

I turned my attention away from the up-himself snob, and focused on Tseng's information.

"There have been Wutai Spies located in the Slums. The company feels that they may be preparing to round up recruits for an Anti-Shinra movement. You must eliminate them. Angeal. You and Zack are assigned to start from the Sector 1 Slums." After a slight pause, he turned in Sephiroth' direction, and then mine. "Sephiroth and Alexis will start from Sector 8. Zack and Angeal with move upwards in the Sectors, while Sephiroth and Alexis move down in number. This way, if any Wutai Spies attempt to change Sectors, you can trap them between you."

Suddenly, I grasped what had been said. "Wait a second! Does that mean I have to work with Silverlocks?!"

I heard Zack snort at my remark, earning him a glare from Sephiroth.

"Yes, Alexis. You have to work with Sephiroth."

I pouted childishly. "And what did I do to deserve a sentence like that?"

Angeal chuckled. "Let's go. The sooner we eliminate the Wutai Spies, the sooner you can part ways with...Silverlocks."

At this, Zack couldn't hold in his laughter. he burst out into fits of childish giggles, making me laugh as well. We did this for several moments until we left the Briefing Room, then we managed to regain composure.

"Okay!" I exclaimed, breathing deeply. I turned my gaze onto Sephiroth, who was glaring at me again. "On to the Sector 8 Slums! Mush on Silver Husky!"

I laughed as I jogged lazily towards the elevator, the tall man ignoring me completely.

Sephiroth's P.O.V

Silver Husky? Silverlocks? Kiddo?! Who on the Planet did this girl think she was? Here I am, a 1st Class SOLDIER, a hero, a legend, and this girl thinks she has the right to insult me?

I don't think so.

Turning my gaze lazily to her, I saw her knee bouncing furiously. She was tapping her fingers on the seat of the train, whistling a tune. She looked around the train with widened eyes, observing every detail. Her hair was black, contrasting with the icey jade colour of her eyes. The vibrancy of those annoying orbs was similar to Zack Fair's, only the colour was much different. I noticed when the lights on the train caught her gaze just right, her irises were almost transparent.

I couldn't help but glare down at her.

That bouncing knee was irritating me no end. In a flash, I snapped my hand down and onto her kneecap, making her gasp. I kept my hand firmly on her knee, stopping the irritating motion.

"What the hell-"

"Stop. Bouncing." I growled, glaring at her.

"Let go, moron." she snapped, slapping my hand roughly.

"Not until you stop that ridiculous notion." I hissed in retort.

Suddenly, she grinned...rather sadistically.

"Let go now, or I'll scream rape."

"What-?!"

"Let. Go. Mor-on!" she growled, pushing my clenching hand off.

I uttered a huff and crossed my arms. The train was silent again for a few minutes.

Then she started bouncing her knee again.

Lex's P.O.V

Oh boy! Annoying him is just THAT much fun! I gotta tell ya, seeing his face narrow as I bounced my knee again just made me want to annoy him all over again! I swear to God, his right eye twitched.

Stupid moron. He thinks he's so tough! Well I'm tougher! Adjusting the Materia on my belt, I checked over it to see how much I had.

Mastered Thundara, Level 2 Blizzara, Level 4 Cura, HP Up, Mastered Vit Up and a Level 3 Bio Materia. A fairly nice assortment, if I do say so myself. My personal favourite is the Bio Materia. Makes people go green. I also had a couple of Summons stashed in my pocket...just incase. Being a woman, I was entitled to more accesories. I wore a Pearl Necklace, Iron Bangle, a Fire Ring and a Frost Armlet. So I'm protected from Poison, Silence and Ice...plus I can make flames go around my weapons...just clever aren't I?

Sephiroth's Materia was all Mastered, of course. What else can he do with his spare time? It's not like he has friends he can drink his time away with. Which reminds me...

"Hey Silverlocks!" I exclaimed, turning to him with a snide grin. "How much grog can you handle before you pass out?"

He gave me the laziest glare I've ever seen. Pfft! My sister could glare meaner than that! Loser.

"What are you babbling on about?" he drawled, resting his hand on his forehead.

"I said, how much grog can you handle? Y'know, like booze! Fire-whiskey, beer, tequila, Yagermeister, mixers. That stuff! I bet I could totally outdrink you!"

He sighed angrily at me. I was annoying him again.

"Go ahead and try...perhaps you'll get alcohol poisoning." he muttered.

I snickered at him, none too quietly either. "Pussy. No wonder you have no real friends."

"Excuse me?" he snapped, his jade eyes burned a hole in my forehead...metophorically speaking obviously.

"You heard me. How can anyone have friends if they can't even handle a simple booze challenge? I bet even my Grandmother could drink better!"

I had a sudden, disturbing image of my Gran sitting on a barstool with a mile-high pint in her hand, shouting profanities at Sephiroth. This made me snicker again. Good old Gran...she's so awesome!

"Your...Grandmother?" he mused.

Before I could further poke fun at him, the train pulled to an abrupt halt. We had finally reached the Sector 8 Slums. I jumped up from my seat and headed to the doors of the train. They slid open and I practically jumped onto the platform.

"Alright! Watch out, bad guys! Lex Albright is on the case!" I exclaimed, pumping my gloved fists into the air.

I heard Sephiroth growl in an annoyed tone. "Would you stop already?!" he snapped, walking ahead of me towards the stairs, "You're making a fool of yourself."

Honestly, I couldn't help but laugh at him. Not with him, AT him. His arrogance was truly astounding.

"Better to be a witty fool, than a foolish wit. Shakespeare's words, I believe." I retorted, running up the stairs past him. Upon reaching the landing I could see the Slums...They were huge! How did Tseng expect us to find the Wutai Spies in all this bustle?

I felt a finger slide under my chin and jerk my mouth closed. Sephiroth smirked as he shut my jaw before continuing on.

"Hey! What was that fo-?!"

"If you left your mouth open any longer, people would think I'd petrified you." he stated dully.

"Oh yeah right! Like you'd ever get the chance." I snorted, adjusting my Materia.

Suddenly, there was a rush of movement and Sephiroth was behind me. He twisted my right arm up behind my back and held his longsword (Masamune if I recall rightly) at my throat.

"I could petrify you...Right. Now." he hissed in my ear.

I snorted at this. "No chance. Nipple Cripple!!" I cried.

Using the hand he had forced behind my back, I dug my fingers into the skin he TOTALLY should have worn a shirt over, and pinched him hard.

I heard an audible yell and he backed up completely. I was thrown to the ground in the process. While the show-pony recovered from the Titty-Twister, I stood up and dusted myself down in between rolls of laughter.

"I told you so! They didn't invite me to 1st Class for nothing, genius!" I choked between hysterics.

Uttering an audible "humph" as he walked past me, Sephiroth continued down the street. Much to my annoyance, I had little choice but to follow. This little "stroll" went on for about half an hour before Sephiroth pulled up a citizen. He had dark hair, baggy jeans, a black t-shirt and an oversized khaki jacket..everyday attire for citizens in the Slums, but something in his face was off. He was just a little bit too nervous.

"Hey! Sephiroth!" I exclaimed, turning my attention away from the man. "You think-?"

"Yes." he stated shortly, his eyes narrowing at the man.

He was a Wutai Spy!

It didn't take long for Sephiroth to squeeze out some information from the cowardly Wutai Troop. Disguising himself as a citizen had done him absolutely no good. Both Sephiroth and myself are very good as discerning liars from truth-tellers. I know I can, because I've been doing it for years...but Sephiroth, I read that his level of Lie-Detector is a little more advanced than mine. Still...he'd be no match for me in battle!

After knocking the man unconcious and binding him heavily with rope that I convieniently had in my bag, Sephiroth turned to address me.

"He said there was a bar near here where the troops are trying to round up Anti-Shinra citizens. They are recruiting from the bar. We have to-" Suddenly, Sephiroth's mobile beeped annoyingly at him. He pulled it out and flipped it open.

"Sephiroth here." Pause, "Yes, we found one. Sector 8." Another pause. "Yes. A bar in the Slums." I could hear Angeal's deep voice on the other end. "Of course. Get here as soon as you can. Miss Albright and I will investigate in the meantime. It's called The Mako Glass bar. Alright. Goodbye."

"So, we gonna sneak in?" I asked, watching him put his phone away.

"Yes. I will borrow some attire from this gentleman," he poked the unconcious Wutai Troop with the toe of his boot, "but you..."

Suddenly, I remembered what was in my bag. "I have some stuff I can change into! Here, look!" I reached into my rugsack and pulled out my favourite black cargos and my baby blue turtleneck.

"Nobody will even recognize us!" I exclaimed with a grin. Suddenly I had a thought. "Hey! Your hair! Everyone will know it's you! I have an idea!"

Reaching into my bag, I pulled out a black and silver truckers cap. Written on the front was Gongaga Mages. The look on his face as he read it made me flush red with embarrasment.

"Hey! I was in a Materia Study club okay? I've had that cap since I was 14! And tie your hair up too! You look like a vampire or something!"

I tossed him a black hair tie from my wrist and laughed as he fumbled to catch it. He tied his hair back in a loose ponytail and turned to me.

"You need to locate the area of the bar. I will dump this miscreit somewhere unnoticable and take his garments." Sephiroth started dragging the unconcious man into an alley full of crates and scrap metal.

I gave him a 2-finger salute. "Aye captain!" I scurged, turning tail and jogging off.

The Mako Glass bar was only a several minute walk onto another street of the Sector 8 Slums. By the time I returned, Sephiroth had changed into the Wutai Spy's outfit and I gotta say...he didn't look half bad. If I hadn't known any better, I could have easily mistaken him for a normal person.

I grinned at him as he dusted down the new outfit. "You scrub up well! Here, put this on." I tossed him my Gongaga Mages cap and watched him tuck away the silver hair at the sides.

"Tuck the ponytail in at the back too." I stated, pointing to the trail of silver hair resting down his back, "Into the shirt."

He did so then stood straight and turned away, walking to the edge of the alley.

"Your turn." he stated, watching the street.

I ducked behind a tall pile of big crates, I pulled off my SOLDIER uniform and changed into the turtleneck and cargos. I rolled my uniform up neatly and tucked it into the large bag. Finally I stepped out from the alley and tapped Sephiroth on the shoulder. "Where's your uniform?" I asked.

He showed me a rolled up pile of clothes with the shoulder plates rested on top.

I sighed. "Tell you what, it's a good thing my bag is as big as it is. Put your stuff in here!"

I held my bag open and he carelessly stuffed his SOLDIER clothing in the bag. It was quite a bit heavier now, carrying 2 SOLDIER uniforms, but hey! Girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

"Okay...we ready?" I asked, pulling my hair into a high ponytail, letting the breeze blow it behind my shoulder.

Sephiroth nodded and rounded the corner, leaving me to follow.