hey :) so this is my second story on FF. I'm still doing the other, but this stucked in my head and I needed to write it down... so here we are now :p let me know what ur think x (Sonny's P.O.V.)
It's 9pm and I'm getting ready to go to bed, but I can't find my diary! I didn't even take it out of my room—fuck! I remember now. I must have left my diary with all my other So Random! books.
I start pacing around my room. There are so many things in that diary, and I don't know what I would do if someone read all of that stuff.
I should probably tell you that my life isn't as sunny as I act. Yep, I act happy. My life is just one big hell! Do you know why I laugh? I laugh to keep from breaking down. Do you know why I smile? I smile to keep from frowning. And the last thing I want is for my diary to be founded. If someone would read my diary they wouldn't treat me the same, and the last thing I need right now is people feeling sorry for me. When I came here—to So Random!—I finally escaped the fear of my regular life.
I finally lie down, my eyelids getting heavier and gathering into my thoughts.
(Chad's P.O.V.)
A few hours ago I stole some So Random! stuff from Sonny. But, it's no big deal they're just some stupid sketches and stuff. I begin looking through the books and I come across one that says, "Alison Munroe: READ AND DIE!" I knew it was Sonny because I used to call her by her last name. I open to the first page to see if I can find anything that I can hold against her.
I start reading it out loud. I whisper it, though, "I finally escaped the fear of my regular life. I laugh to keep from crying. I smile to keep from frowning. I hate to keep from loving. I hide and the last thing I want is to be found."
I have no idea what she means but I intend on finding out so I continue reading. The next page was from when she was still in Wisconsin.
December 3, 2008
My father got home before I did today. He was absolutely pissed off when I came home three minutes later than my curfew. I hate the fact that my mom is no longer with us. This stupid Connie person is really getting on my nerves.I didn't expect him to get home early. Mostly he spends his time at the bar with some friends, drinking non-stop! So, I was at Lucy's house for a while . . . . When I got home he did it again, he grabbed my hair and through me against the wall.
I'll never forget the words he said, "You lousy slut! I'm going to do the same thing to you that I did to your mother if you keep this up. I will hunt you down if I have to, and no matter how much you want to forget me you won't be able to. Now get your coat off and go outside. Your punishment is two hours. Now, go!"
Yeah, that's right. That was my punishment when I came home late: lying in the snow for a few hours with shorts and a tank top.
I don't know how no one ever notices, but I'm sick of it. The next time I get a chance to leave my so-called father, I'm taking it within a second, without a doubt.
I have little hope left,
Alison 'Sonny' Munroe
I was completely shocked. Someone used to abuse Sonny? How could someone hurt a sweet and kind person like that? I guess I should look at a more recent date and see what's going on now.
March 17, 2011
I ran into Chad again today. He can be so annoying . . . sometimes.
He also found me today, not Chad but him, my dad. He found me in my dressing room during my lunch break. It's Saturday, so no one was here to hear me screaming. He was furious and told me that it was my fault that his life was falling apart. He told me I was useless, that if I died no one would care, and for the first time in my life, I think he's right.
He found me at 6am. I came here because I needed to make a new sketch for So Random!. He started beating me. I felt like dying right then.
I already called Tawni afterwards and told her that my bookshelf fell on me. I wanted to use the old book trick: that I fell trying to reach something from the top. But, I don't even have a bookshelf, and she really isn't that dumb . . . I think. Well, anyway, that's what I'm going to tell everyone.
Now, it's 8pm, and I haven't moved. I'm afraid to go home. He might already be there. I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy.
I hope Tawni and Marshall don't mind the blood stains on our dressing room carpet, but no one should notice since I moved my desk over it.
But, why me? Why am I the one who has to be tortured by this mother fucking monster?
A few minutes ago, I did something stupid. I took the nearest knife. I felt like I had too. I've been cutting myself for months now, so I've learned a few things: the deeper you cut the more it hurts and bleeds, when you cut healed cuts it bleeds twice as much, and when you recut infected cuts it bleeds four times as much.
I'm running out of room on my arms, and if I completely run out of room on my arms, I will start on my legs. It feels good. I like the feeling of the blood running down my skin. I guess it's just because I'm used to it. I can't wear short sleeves anymore.
Wel,l that's it of my day today.
Till tomorrow (I hope),
Alison 'Sonny' Munroe
I can't fucking believe that Sonny would hide all of this from me! I'm going to see if I can find an entry from this week. I need to know if he is still abusing her. Oh, here is the one from yesterday!
I would have dated this entry, but I don't know the date anymore. I know it sounds cheesy, but I'm lost in this world of sorrow. No one really likes me in this world. Tawni hates me, Nico and Grady are just trying to be nice to me, Zora doesn't give a crap about me, and Marshall just wants the viewers I bring. Chad? I can't even put his ego into nice words. He is probably the one that hates me the most.
My so-called father has a schedule to beat me, what he does on what days and what my punishment is for certain things. It's only gotten worse from last week. He started raping me every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Its official my life sucks. He grabs me so hard that I now have bruises on my arms and legs.
I stopped cutting myself three days ago. I'm kind of proud of that, but I still have the scars. I can't wear my brand new dress to Tawni's party because it will show my scars and my father watches me to make sure I don't show bruises. If I do, he ties me up, rapes me, and beats me twice as hard as ever.
I can't take this anymore. They say everything happens for a reason but what possible reason could life have for me to suffer? What did I do to deserve this? See, I used to believe in God, but if there was a God, wouldn't He have stopped my so-called father when he started all of this on my 7th birthday? I mean, I've been dealing with him for 9 years. I can't take it anymore. I'll be surprised if I don't slit my throat by tomorrow.
I sit in my dressing room every night, crying my eyes out for hour, just staring at the knife on my dresser, trying to decide whether to cut myself again or not, whether tonight is the night I should die or if I can handle another day with my father. I hope I can stop myself from doing something stupid.
Life sucks then you die,
Alison 'Sonny' Munroe
Once I read that entry, I didn't know what to do, so I did the first thing that came to mind. I started sprinting to Sonny's and Tawni's dressing room. I could hear someone crying loudly. I knew it had to be Sonny.
I saw her sitting against the wall with one arm around her legs and her other hand holding a large knife, staring at it and crying. I ran over to her and took the knife out of her reach and just hugged her, but she pushed me away.
(End of P.O.V.)
"Sonny, I am so sor-" Chad tried to apologize.
"Cut the fucking crap, Chad!" Sonny yelled, with her tears flying everywhere. "I know you found my diary, and knowing you, you read it!"
"Well, yeah, I did, and I'm happy I did or you would probably be killing yourself. Sorry, I forgot tomorrow is Wednesday. That's probably what you're upset about," he said with the most caring look.
"I can't even believe that you would bring that up!" Sonny yelled, hitting him lightly on his chest. "You don't know what it's like to be me! You couldn't last a day living my life!" she said, looking him straight in the eyes now.
"Well, my life isn't all butterflies and pixie dust either, Sonny!" Chad said yelling also.
"I can't take this anymore! I-I hate you," She struggled with the hateful words she had just said to the confused young man that was now sitting on the floor. She ran . . . .
"You h-hate me?" he whispered to himself.
Chad left soon afterwards, sad at the hurtful words of Miss Sonshine.
When they both woke up in the morning, they found a big surprise waiting for them.
so... what did you guys think? wasn't THAT bad, was it?
tell me what you think :) Review for the next chappi...