Karin: Hey folks. Here's a oneshot/drabble for Harukanaru. If you haven't seen the Harukanaru Maihitoyo movie or know what goes on in the movie, I doubt you'll know what's going on, but then again, there's not really much spoilers so…
Disclaimer: I don't own Harukanaru Toki no Naka De
Title: Death Do You Part
Rating: T
Pairings: Akane/Suefumi, some Hachiyou/Akane
Genres: Angst/Romance
Summary: They were losing you to a dead man and you both knew it. Akane-centric. Post Maihitoyo movie
Death Do You Part
A Harukanaru no Toki Naka De oneshot
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"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal"
-From a headstone in Ireland
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The gentle breeze ruffles your clothes as you walk up the path in silence. You have no trouble getting yourself up the steep path—you've done it before of course. You've done it so many times you could probably walk up here blindfolded if you wanted to, you tell yourself.
Your feet crunching against the dirt ground is the only sound you make. You don't dare make a move to speak until you are at your destination. In your hands are flowers—Fujihime helped you pick them out.
It feels like an eternity before you are at your destination. But you've become used to it. You've been here too many times to count to know it always feels like an eternity.
It's become more barren, you unconsciously think when you see the plants are overgrowing and covering the small temple. The weeds have taken over the patches of flowers and moss has stretched out more on the wood.
You remind yourself to bring supplies next time to clean up the place. It wouldn't be fair to him if you just let the temple rot and be buried in time. Of course you wouldn't allow that to happen for it would be an insult to his memory.
You miss him still, you tell yourself as you step into the small temple. How long was it since the first time you set foot near this place? Weeks? Months? Suddenly you're not so sure anymore.
Nonetheless the date does not matter to you. What matters is the fact that that was the first time you sat here with him. The first time you've actually shared a conversation with him.
The first time someone acknowledged you for you and not as the Ryuujin no Miko.
You then shake your head repulsed at your own thoughts. You sound like you're only visiting this place and mourning for him because of your own selfish desire to be treated as yourself and not the great priestess everyone views you to be.
That's not true though—that you only mourn him because of your own selfishness. Perhaps you are selfish in holding on to his memory a little more than you should, but you actually cared about him. You held him close to your heart maybe above others more than you should've.
The flowers in your hands are placed gently down on the wooden floor where all your other flower offerings are laid. You see the dead petals of some and the wilting petals of others. You hope that these new flowers will lighten the depressing mood somewhat.
You then travel back outside where the porch is and sit there enjoying the nice afternoon. It isn't before long that you begin talking and telling him about what has been going on since he passed on. You laugh in between your story as you remember the hilarity of the situation. He liked it when you laughed you recall.
It's getting late you notice, but you make no move to leave. You feel so comfortable here. It's like he's still here watching over you, you think with a tender smile. The wind blows a soft, warm breeze tenderly whispering in your ears as if agreeing with you.
A part of you protests however. The others will be worried about you, it said. You shouldn't worry them, it told you.
But you can't leave yet, you defend yourself. Just five minutes, you promise yourself. Just five more minutes.
And yet five minutes is never five minutes. It soon turns into ten and then that turns into thirty. It's in the dead of night when you usually decide to leave this place.
This is one cycle you can't break—not that you want to.
Still, you try to break it. You try to leave earlier than you want. For the sake of the people who care about you, you force yourself to push this place to the back of your mind and leave it behind.
Nevertheless you can't leave it behind. You don't want to leave it behind. You're sure they're beginning to notice that too—or possibly they've already known but chose not to acknowledge that fact.
They don't want you to come here, this you know well. You can see it so clearly. Sure they try to hide it, and they do an amazing job at hiding it, but you can just see the truth without hints.
You can see it in Shimon-kun's cheerful smile in activities he persuades you to join when he sees you carrying flowers. You can see it in Yorihisa-san's eyes when he offers to accompany you when you want to leave Fujihime's mansion in order to steer you away from coming here. You can see it in Tenma-kun's stubbornness to not leave you alone claiming under false pretences you can be hurt by simply walking five steps out of Fujihime's compound. You can see it in Tomomasa-san's coy invitation to listen to old stories to keep you distracted. You can see it in Takamichi-san's desire to strike up conversations and ask for your opinions to keep you busy. You can see it in Inori-kun's insistence to take you around town and take you to try your favorite food sweet dumplings refusing to let you waste your time only with him. You can see it in Eisen-san's offerings for you to listen to his flute when you get that faraway look when thinking about him. And you can certainly see it when Yasuaki-san gives you those disapproving stares when you tell him you're going out as if to intimidate you to stay in the mansion under their supervision and away from him.
In fact, you are pretty sure that the only reason you have not been chained inside Fujihime's mansion was because of the princess herself. Fujihime viewed your outings as not interfering with your priestess duties therefore disallowing any restraint on your freedom to commence. To this, you are grateful to the younger girl.
Of course you don't blame them for wanting to keep you away from here. After all, your obsession with him might border on the lines of unhealthy even if it isn't interfering with your duties. However, you just can't let him go. You don't want to let him go.
And they know that. They know that he holds a piece of your heart that they want, but can never have. You wish it were that simple to give that piece to someone else, but it already belongs to him. And there's nothing they nor you can do about it.
It's unfair, but it's true.
You sometimes find yourself wondering if they hate him. Hate him for doing this to you. Hate him for taking you away from them. You protest, saying that they weren't like that, but another part of you can't help but wonder.
And you feel disgusted with yourself soon after.
And yet, it's staring at you right in the face—in theirs too you know. You are positive it's like a smack in the face for both you and them when they see you leaving with flowers in your hands.
They were losing you to a dead man and you both knew it.
Or perhaps they've already lost you to him. Either way, you are not sure. You're scared to find out if you're sure it's already too late—that you'll never be healed or move on from him.
Because you're the only one who got to know him. Because you're the only one who was willing to accept him without a catch.
Because you're the only one who fell in love with him.
Him—Oono Suefumi.
And yet you couldn't be happier and more miserable at the same time.
As you lay down on the wooden floor, deep into the night, you can't wipe that happy smile off your face nor wipe your sad tears. It's because you mourn for him and are happy he's in a better place at the same time. You miss him and yet you are proud of him. You are depressed and yet you are so in love with him.
But tears are still coming down you're face you know in sadness.
Because he was gone and he wasn't coming back.
You decide to spend the night—just this once—and allow yourself not to worry about the future or the others. You know Kotengu-chan will fly up here soon to keep you company as you sleep. You know that the others will be waiting for your return in the morning.
But for now, on this night only, you will weep all of your sorrows and joys in the presence of you hope is him. After this, you promise yourself that you will try harder to leave earlier next time.
But you will not forget this place. You promise you will not forget him or leave him behind. You will not forget the times you've shared with him or the tears you've shed for him.
You will not forget you've fallen in love with him.
Perhaps one day, you can gain the pieces of your heart back that he unnoticeably stole. Perhaps you can look back on this and smile without your heart breaking in two. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday you hope.
And it's on that someday that it would be officially "Death Do You Part"
But for now, you wouldn't let him go.
Karin: Done, hope you liked this drabble. Yeah, it was random, but I enjoyed writing it and I really wanted to write something like this after I saw the movie. Hope you enjoyed it despite the angst.
See ya Next time!