Just once. That's what Kurt had told himself. 'Try everything at least once' was his philosophy. Actually no, his second philosophy; the first being 'There is no such thing as 'overdressed'. Blaine was busy at some singing practise or other with some old friends from Dalton so he'd had to go to the party alone, which wasn't going well. The whole night he'd been withdrawn, jittery and frankly missing Blaine because nowadays, being older had meant their relationship had grown and was at the stage of being nearly joined at the hip so going to a party without him seemed weird. But he had promised his friend, and Kurt keeps his promises.

When his friend who'd invited him to the party, who had a huge grin on her face and glassy eyes, saw him sitting awkwardly on the couch and sidled over to offer him some of the snowy white power, he was horrified and immediately gently pushed the girl away. However, one by one the people around him were submitting to taking the substance (which Kurt had worked out by now to be Cocaine) and starting to feel the effects. They looked... euphoric, their eyes glazing over and huge grins plastering their faces no matter what was happening around them. They seemed to have no cares in the world, and Kurt wanted in.

It was a truly a horrible experience when that... that stuff went up his nose. Immediately afterwards, he regretted it. He could feel it clogging him up inside as it travelled away from his sinus area but he didn't feel any different. For 10 minutes he sat there regretting his actions and wishing Blaine was here to tell him how stupid he'd been when... woah. Suddenly, a wave seemed to be gaining on him, and while it scared him, he also felt happier and happier as it approached. Eventually, it crashed over him and pure ecstasy over-whelmed him. What had he been worried about before? He couldn't remember, it didn't matter. Everything was all right with the world. Why be unhappy when you can be happy? Oh, he felt so confident! Looking around, he saw where he was, sitting alone on the frumpy brown sofa and he decided that just would not do. Jumping up, he smoothed down his clothes and then skipped out of the room into the mass of moving, sweating bodies, all dancing to the heavy bass being played loudly over the speakers. Tonight was going to be the best night ever.

"Kurt, baby, are you all right?" Blaine murmured as he stroked the back of Kurt's neck carefully.

"Uh, what? Oh yeah, I mean no... I just think I've got the flu or something, I have a massive headache," Kurt replied in voice lacking all of it's usual sassiness and upbeat-ness while massaging his temple slowly. Blaine looked worried and slipped an arm around his waist as if he was scared Kurt was going to collapse, which looked all together possible as he was deathly pale and had huge purple bags under his eyes.

"I'm taking you to the nurse, you really don't look well. Look, you're sweating!" Kurt hurriedly used the back of his hand to wipe his forehead.

"No I'm fine, it's just the flu. I think I'll go home and go to bed to sleep it off, call you tomorrow yeah?" And with that he walked off, leaving behind a worried and hurt Blaine, wondering why Kurt was rejecting his help and being distant with him.

Having managed to dodge the teachers on the way out of school and successfully get to his car, Kurt pulled out of school and finally breathed a sigh of relief. His head had been killing him all day and he felt like the lowest scum of the Earth. Even when Karofsky had come up to him and started on him, he hadn't even bothered to give him one of his usual "I don't give a shit" speeches. Now, as he was racing down the road towards the outer edges of town, he knew where he needed to go: Back to his friends house and ask for more of that stuff. Just to tide him over the weekend so he could go through the effects of not having any on his own in his room and not in the eyes of the whole school. Then he'd never do it again. Even if it was a glorious relief from his life that he craved.

At least, that's what he'd tried to tell himself. He never did listen when he told himself anything.