Disclaimer: Once Upon A Time does not belong to me! All characters and references to the show belong to ABC and Channel 5
This is set after the episode in which Graham dies (WAAAAAAAAAAHHH!) Regina goes to Granny's to drown her sorrows, but events take a quite unexpected turn...
Smashed
Regina Mills was sat in Granny's Diner, steadily downing vodka shots one after the other, as she lifted the shot glass clumsily to her lips, the liquid spilled on her suit jacket, but she didn't care.
Regina dropped the glass and tapped the counter for another. Hesitantly, Ruby's grandmother came over to her, vodka bottle in hand.
"Uh, Madame Mayor" she said slowly "Don't you think you've had enou-?"
"Another!" Regina snapped, fighting to stop her voice from slurring, and the old woman hastened to fill the glass.
After she had crushed Grahams heart, she had called Ruby and asked her too look after Henry for a few hours, then she had headed to the diner.
That damn Emma Swan! She thought to herself She comes into MY town, turns MY son against me, and then she takes MY man!
As she lifted the glass to drink from it, she noticed her server had gone very pale, and was staring at something behind her. She looked like a deer caught in headlights.
Regina would've asked her what the hell was wrong with her, when a deep, mocking laugh answered her question for her.
"Well well well" said a male voice "Look who's trying to replace our town drunk"
Regina turned around on her stool, and there stood none other than Mr Gold.
Or, as she had known him, Rumplestiltskin.
He watched her with a smirk on his face, clearly delighted to see her out of her usual, in-control state.
Bringing his cane forward, he walked-or, for a better word, limped-over to her side, and gestured to the empty stool next to her.
"Mind if I join you, Madame Mayor?" he asked.
Regina attempted to focus a glare on him "Go to hell" she said, drinking her shot.
Mr Gold laughed and, much to Regina's fury, sat down anyway. Regina watched him try not to wince as his crippled leg groaned in protest, he was in pain, she hid a smirk.
"What do you want, Gold?" she asked him, tapping the shot glass yet again. Granny filled it and quickly and made to leave, but before she could go, Mr Gold called her back.
"I'll have one of those too, dear. Scotch if you don't mind" he said. Granny filled him a shot glass and then disappeared so fast she was nearly nothing but a grey blur. Mr Gold downed his own shot, and turned back to Regina.
"I simply came here for a drink, Madame Mayor. The fact that you're here to is a...happy coincidence"
Regina glared at his sarcastic tone and downed what was probably her hundredth shot.
And then everything went black.
When Regina woke up, she had a pounding headache, and was in a bed that wasn't her own in a room she didn't recognise.
She looked up at the ceiling, trying to remember what in the name of the gods had happened last night.
Regina shifted in the bed, and it was then she noticed the soft, chocolate brown sheets that were against her naked skin.
A terrible thought struck her, and she quickly lifted the bedsheets.
She nearly squealed aloud. She was completely naked! In someone else's bed!
Oh my gods! She thought to herself, Who the hell did I sleep with?!
Regina looked around to the other side of the bed, and when she saw who was lying there, still asleep, she nearly had a heart attack there and then.
It was Mr Gold.
Rumplestiltskin.
She was in bed, with that Imp.
Regina's eyes traveled down, the sheet didn't cover his chest, and as far as she could tell, he was as naked as she was.
She stared in absolute horror, as Mr Gold stirred, rubbed his face, and then opened his eyes.
He saw Regina in his bed, sheets clutched around her body, and she watched as his eyes widened in shock, then denial, he too checked under the sheet, and then his eyes showed only horror.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARR RRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!" they both screamed and scrambled off the bed, pulling the sheets around them for modesty.
From either side of the bed, they began screaming at each other.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Mr Gold screamed, looking like he wanted to vomit.
"HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!" Regina screamed back "I WOKE UP HERE!" she felt like she was going to vomit.
"WHAT WERE YOU DOING, NAKED, IN MY BED?!" Mr Gold roared at her.
"WELL I THINK THAT MUCH IS OBVIOUS, YOU STUPID BASTARD! WE SLEPT TOGETHER!" Regina screamed.
"OH MY GOD!" Mr Gold screamed.
"OH MY GOD!" Regina screamed.
It took a while, but eventually they both calmed down, got dressed, and met downstairs. Where Regina found her shoes tossed on the plush sofa.
Burning with embarrassment, she picked it up and put it on.
When I get home, she promised herself, I am having the longest bath in this worlds history!
They sat as far apart as possible on the sofa, there were a few moments of awkward silence, then:
"So, do you have...any, memory of-?" Mr Gold started.
"No!" Regina snapped "Do you?" she prayed to every god she had ever believed in that he would shake his head.
He nodded.
Damn gods.
Regina groaned "And...Did we...?" she trailed off, she couldn't, wouldn't, finish that sentence.
Mr Gold pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes squeezed shut"I may have been almost as intoxicated as you, but the images that I have in my head would suggest that we did"
"Oh God!" Regina moaned, burying her face in her hands. So many men in this town, so many handsome men to make this mistake with, and here she was, with...Gold!
Regina pulled her face out of her hands, and looked at Mr Gold, his forehead was resting on his hand, and he looked very pale. Her eyes narrowed.
"Look, this? This never happened! We don't tell anyone that it did, and we never, mention that this again! Agreed?" she demanded.
"Agreed!" Mr Gold said, sounding as if that was the best idea in the world.
Regina let out a loud exhale, and leaned back against the sofa "I will never drink again!" she muttered.
Emma Swan walked into Granny's Diner, barely noticing as the conversation became slightly lulled. Graham is dead. She thought to herself as she walked to the counter, he died, and there was nothing I could do. She came to the counter and sat down. She was just about to order something with alcohol or caffeine in it, when a voice made her jump.
"Hi Emma" said Ruby, smiling at her for only a moment, then her face became sad and compassionate. "Listen we...we all heard about the Sheriff. That must've been so awful for you"
Emma looked at Ruby for a long moment, until she started to look uncomfortable, then Emma nodded "Yeah, it was pretty...Pretty awful" she sighed, the last thing she wanted was to talk about how it felt when Graham had died in her arms "Could I get a coffee please?"
Ruby took the hint, and poured her a mug. Emma blew on it before taking a sip, trying not to think about the previous night.
Then the image of her punching Regina in the face appeared, and for the first time that morning, Emma felt a little better.
"Hey, what're you smiling about?" Ruby asked, Emma hadn't even realised that she was still there. she shook her head.
"Nothing. Tired?" she asked as Ruby let out a huge yawn, she nodded.
"So would you be if you had stayed up all night waiting for the Mayor to get home!" She sighed in frustration. "You would think Granny would give me the day off, but, nooooooo!"
"Why were you at the Mayor's?" Emma asked her, as Granny walked in holding two cups of tea on a tray.
"Oh, she asked me to babysit Henry for a couple of hours last night" Ruby shrugged again "I waited for her to come home all night, but she didn't get back until this morning" she chuckled "She looked pretty rattled, to be honest"
"Well, that can't be right" Granny suddenly appeared at Ruby's side "Ruby, we have customers" she gestured around the waiting people in the diner, Ruby sighed and walked away from the counter.
Emma turned to Ruby's grandmother "What do you mean, that can't be right?" she asked her. Granny looked reluctant to say anything, but after a few quick looks to make sure no-one was listening, she leaned in to Emma.
"I was here for most of the night, the Mayor came in and started ordering vodka shots, a lot of vodka shots"
This didn't really interest Emma, Here's hoping she has God's own hangover.
Then the old diner owner continued.
"Then, around an hour after she came in, Mr Gold came in, and he started drinking too. They both got pretty steamed"
Emma almost laughed out loud at the image of Mr Gold and Regina, both absolutely hammered.
"After a while, I told them both that we were closing, I called them a cab, and Gold said he would make sure the Mayor got home"
"I'm telling you" Ruby suddenly appeared next to Emma. So much for no-one listening.
"She didn't come home until this morning! I was there all night, I barely slept, and I really think-"
"You're not getting the day off!" Granny snapped. Ruby cursed under her breath.
Meanwhile, Emma's mind was whirring, when it finally dawned on her, she laughed out loud, gaining some strange looks from most of the diner.
"Oh my God!" Emma said, as Granny and Ruby stared at her.
"What?" Ruby said, with a look that was questioning Emma's sanity.
"Well" Emma said in a low voice, Ruby and Granny leaned in to hear her "If the Mayor didn't get home until this morning, and she got hammered with Mr Gold..."
"Oh my God" Ruby whispered, realisation coming out in a huge, shocked grin.
"And she shared a cab with Mr Gold..."
"Oh my God!" Ruby said again, louder this time, so again some of the diners turned their heads in their direction. Granny gave her a scorching look.
"Whatever may, have happened between the Mayor and Mr Gold" he voice caught on the end, as though she was trying not to laugh, she took a deep breath, composing herself, before turning back to Emma and Ruby, who looked as though she was trying not to laugh hysterically.
"Whatever may have happened between...them, is none of our business. So don't. Mention. It. To. Anyone!"
"O.k Granny" Ruby gasped.
Emma nodded "O.k, O.k" she said, her voice shaking.
Granny nodded approvingly, and she lifted up and empty sugar bowl "I'll be right back" she said before disappearing into the back room.
Ruby and Emma glanced at each-other, and started snorting with suppressed laughter.
Interesting, I never thought "Creepy Pawnbroker" was her type. She thought.
Just then, the clock hit 8:30, and Mary Margaret Blanchard walked into the diner, and before Emma could do anything, Ruby was calling "Mary Margaret! Mary Margaret!" and was gesturing frantically for her to come over.
Mary Margaret walked over, looking confused and curious, she stood between both women, an eyebrow raised "What is it?"
And then, both Ruby and Emma simultaneously broke a promise that was never going to be kept anyway.
"Mom? Are you O.k?"
Henry asked her the question, and she nodded "Yes Henry, I'm fine"
She was lying. Ever since she had left Mr Golds house, images of last nights events had been coming into her head, memories of him touching her...holding her...kissing her...
The breakfast she had forced down lurched in her stomach, and she ran to the bathroom, only just making it in time.
After she was done, she wiped her mouth with a tissue, and then used another to wipe away the lipstick that had smudged.
As she was re-applying it, there was a timid knock on the door.
"Mom? Are you sure you're O.k?" came Henry's voice, Regina opened the bathroom door and put on a false smile in the presence of her son's worried face.
"I told you, Henry, I'm perfectly fine. It's just...just a small stomach bug thats all"
Henry looked doubtful, but nodded "Okay..." he said.
Regina tried to keep the smile on her face "So, what do you want to do today?"
Instantly, Henry brightened "Can we go to Granny's Diner?"
NO!
Regina's fake smile dropped "T-the diner? are you sure?"
Henry nodded "Yeah, Ruby told me that they were getting a new kind of hot chocolate there last night. I really wanna try it!"
No way, Regina wasn't going back to that diner unless someone dragged her there kicking and screaming.
"Henry, I don't think-"
"Please, Mom?" he begged. She could already see his smile falling.
Regina sighed, she was going to have to take him to the damn diner.
The last thing I need is Henry telling Emma that I'm the Evil Queen because I wouldn't take him for hot chocolate.
"Alright" Regina sighed, and he instantly perked up again, and he ran to get his coat.
Mr Gold grabbed a towel after taking his fifth shower of the morning, and he was still positive he could feel that...woman's...touch on his skin.
What in the god's name's had he been thinking?! Surely, surely, there wasn't that much scotch in this world?!
He had always told himself that he would rather be skinned alive rather than show any emotion other than disgust towards the Evil Queen.
When he had woken up that morning and seen her staring at him, his bedsheets (which had been burned) wrapped around her, he had thought he was in some horrific, twisted nightmare.
Then the memories came, the fuzzy, intoxicated memories of them staggering through his door, of her lips clamping themselves around his, of them quickly progressing to the bedroom...
Mr Gold's stomach lurched, and he thought he was going to vomit. This is worse than when I had to kiss the boot of that knight!
Mr Gold got dressed in a black suit, vowing to never, never, drink in someone else's company.
He looked at his watch, and saw that it was almost 8:45.
He had to go and collect the rent.
From Granny's Diner.
"May the god's be damned!" he muttered
Regina parked the car and walked up to the diner with Henry, at the door, she looked through the glass, and felt a pound of irritation. She could see Emma Swan, Ruby, and Mary Margaret Blanchard talking animatedly about something. She hesitated for a moment, then decided that this was ridiculous. It was her town. She could go where she liked with her child
She pushed open the diner door and walked in. the second they looked up and saw her, the three women sat at the bar automatically stopped talking, and with wide eyes they watched as she came up to the bar with Henry.
"Hi Emma!" Henry piped up, and Regina was annoyed to see that he was grinning all over his face.
"Hey kid" Emma said distantly, she, along with Ruby and Mary Margaret, were still staring at her, looks of utter disbelief on their faces. It was starting to get on Regina's nerves, she looked at Ruby, who's mouth was hanging slightly open.
"Henry was telling me about a new hot chocolate you had here, if you could make him one that'd be great" Regina watched as the silly little waitress simply nodded and moved around the counter to make Henry his drink.
"Thanks Mom" Henry said, pulling himself up onto a stool next to Emma. Making Regina burn with rage.
"Henry" she said "Why don't we go sit at one of the empty tables?" She glanced at Emma. She and Mary Margaret still hadn't stopped staring "It's less crowded" she said.
"Oh, but-" Henry started, his smile dropping.
"Now, Henry!" Regina said, her tone becoming more firm. Henry reluctantly moved to an empty table.
Regina moved to follow him, but was stopped when Emma finally spoke.
"So, Regina, I heard you had a great night last night" she said, and Regina froze.
"Excuse me?" Regina said, her voice falsely innocent. Mary Margaret turned her head away, and from the shake of her shoulders Regina could've sworn she was trying not to laugh.
"Oh, you know" Emma said, her voice sweet, but her eyes cruel with hilarity "How you came here last night, had a couple-a shots...With Mr Gold"
Mary Margaret clamped a hand over her mouth, still shaking from suppressed laughter, and Regina could've sworn she heard Ruby try and cover a laugh with a cough.
Regina's insides went cold, No...No, this cannot be happening...
"I...I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Miss Swan" she said, trying to keep her voice neutral as heat rose to her face.
"Oh, don't you?" Emma, much like Henry had been, was now grinning all over her smug face at Regina's red face.
"No"
"So you didn't...go home with him?"
Regina's blush deepened "No" she was going to KILL that ancient old diner owner!
"Then why are you blushing?" Emma asked, her voice now shaking from trying not to laugh in her face.
"Maybe because I'm embarrassed at having this pointless conversation with you!" Regina snapped, standing up from the stool, she looked over at Henry "Henry, we're going!"
"But Mom-!"
"Now, Henry"
Henry didn't argue with her when she used that tone. He quickly picked up his coat and walked over to Regina. She grabbed his hand, and then sharply turned back to Emma, who, like Mary Margaret and now Ruby, was shaking with mirth.
"As usual Miss Swan, it was unpleasant talking to you"
Emma laughed "Tell your boyfriend I said hi, and that Ruby said he's late with picking up Granny's rent!"
Mary Margaret and Ruby both turned, with huge, unsuppressable grins on their faces, to watch Regina's reaction. She looked furiously at Emma, wishing she could still shoot out fire from her hands, she didn't lower herself to answer. She gripped Henry's hand in hers, and turned to leave.
And at that exact moment, the diner door opened, and Mr Gold walked inside. He started to say something to Ruby, and then saw Regina stood there with Henry. Neither said anything, and Regina watched as Mr Gold's face turned deep crimson.
And then the floodgates opened, and from behind her, Regina could hear Emma, Mary Margaret and Ruby laughing hysterically at the awkward moment passing between her and the pawnbroker. Regina stared at him in crippling embarrassment, then, for Henry's benefit, she nodded to Mr Gold in greeting "Mr Gold" she said.
Mr Gold nodded back "Madame Mayor" then he looked at Ruby, who, along with Emma and Mary Margaret, was wiping tears away from her eyes.
"Ruby, could you please tell your grandmother that I am here for the rent?" he asked her, sending such daggers in her direction that the smile was wiped clean off her face. She nodded, and went to go and get her grandmother, who was still searching for more sugar in the back room.
Regina pushed past Mr Gold, the feel of his suit awakening more unwelcome memories of the previous night.
"Always nice talking to you, Regina!" Emma's sarcastic comment followed her as she marched out of the diner and towards her car.
What I wouldn't give for a Poisoned Apple right now. She thought as she got behind the wheel of the car. I'd cram it straight down her throat!
And she drove back to her house, vowing to somehow forget the whole Gold ordeal.
O.k, so this is my first fanfiction, and it's a test run before I move on to something I've been wanting to try for a while. I'm really nervous to see how it rates with you so PLEASE review it with your honest to God opinions!