All through the night, i'll be awake and i'll be with you.
All through the night, this precious time, when time is new
It was 3 am when her phone rang. Elena shifted in her bed and growled. Caroline reached her hand and pulled the phone from the desk.
"Hello." She said. Her eyes still closed.
"you were right I'm a dick." Stefan's voice hit Caroline in the stomach,
her eyes opened wide. He was drunk – obviously. The words left his mouth as a fact, clearly scoffing at himself.
"Stefan?" she said, feeling confused.
"But we both know that it would happen now or then, I'd just screw up and you would hate me. That's why I don't stand a chance with you Caroline; I'm a horrible person" his voice was angry, he was almost shouting at her, which made her more worried; being drunk and angry at the same time wasn't a good thing.
"Stefan, slow down I don't…" She said but he cut her quickly.
"And I still don't get it, how can you have a thing for me? How can someone like you feel anything for someone like me? You're just an idiot." He was literally shouting right now.
"What?" she asked in confusion, anger. Her brows got borrowed; she couldn't really get what was happening.
"I'm a bad person, Caroline. I'm the ripper, and you are you. And it wasn't even the ripper who hurt you, it wasn't him who walked away, not him who didn't listen to your messages, not him who missed the only chance to have you, it was all me." He got calmer at the end, breathing heavily.
"Stefan…" she whispered, she didn't know what to say. His words just hurt her. For so long she was trying not to blame herself for loving him; deep down she knew that if she felt nothing for him, if they were just friends, nothing from this would happen. But she couldn't ignore this, she couldn't ignore his pain.
"You know what the worst part is? It's that whatever I do right now, you won't feel anything for me again, I'll be lucky if you at least want to be friends again." He let a laugh escape his mouth, sad and pity. He wasn't shouting anymore, his voice was deep and broking, cracking in the middle.
"I lost my only chance." He whispered.
They both fell in silence for a minute, she wanted to say something, but suddenly she forgot all the words.
"Would you just open the door?" he said after a heavy sigh. She turned around quickly and looked at the door.
"Wait, you're here?" she asked, her voice low.
"yeah, I'm here."
She walked to the door slowly, her legs shaking a bit. She finally opened the door then she saw him.
He smiled faintly, his eyes were red, tired, clearly had shed some tears. It made her shiver. He opened his mouth, then closed it quickly. She could smell bourbon, and just the idea that he got drunk because of her made her shiver even more.
"Come in." she whispered and took a step back to let him in. he took a step, slowly. But then he lost his balance, he knocked the table that the vase almost fell. She held him quickly from the arm. "Whoa, I see you had a tough night." He smiled and they both shared a look for a second.
"Stefan?" Elena said, as the noise had clearly awakened her.
"Hey." He said with an embarrassed smile.
"He's drunk." Caroline explained after Elena looked at her.
"Oh, will let him in… I'll go to um, I'll go to see Liv, for some reason." Elena said in a rush. She put her jacket on and walked out.
All, all through the night today, knowing that we feel
the same, without saying, the same without saying
They stayed still for a few seconds, looking at each other. They were pretty close. "She'll probably kill me tomorrow for sleeping with Liv." Caroline laughed, clearly trying to get rid of the awkwardness. And he just smiled, his eyes not blinking, not looking away from her eyes, challenging her not to look away.
"Come on, let's get you some sleep." She said and walked him to her bed. She sat him down on the bed. She watched him with a smile as he found it hard to take off his shoes, but he finally did it. He lifted his legs to the bed and she covered him slowly, not leaving the opportunity to touch him just for a second.
She pulled her hand and took a last look at him before she turned around. But she was held back, she turned around and saw him holding her hand, his eyes barely open.
"Stay." He whispered.
"Stefan…" she whispered back; she should walk away, just like he did. But his eyes, that look, the pain in them, his voice shattering her heart. She found herself taking a step closer. He smiled faintly as he moved away, giving her a space next to him.
She lied next to him, his hand never leaving her. She gave him her back, but he pulled her closer. She caught her breath from his movement and his hand holding hers tighter.
He moved closer and replaced a kiss on her cheek; he took a moment before pulling away. She closed her eyes as she felt his soft lips on her cheek, she wanted to touch the spot with her hands, but she didn't.
He pulled the covers above them, then held her hand again, and tightened her once more. He buried his face in her curls and closed his eyes.
She felt warm against him, her back against his stomach, his legs cuddling hers. Everything in him made her feel warm; his smell, his face touching her hair, his jeans against her bare legs. She let out a shaky breath, and then let her fingers rub his hand as he held her.
Slowly they both fell asleep, both afraid of what would happen in the morning, she imagined him regretting it as it was all a drunken behavior, and he imagined her putting ruled for them and pushing him away, putting them under the label of friends. Actually both of them were scared.