Author's note:
For anyone who hasn't played Peggle, it is a horrible game likely designed by little girls. While I admit it could possibly be fun, the fact that the game has far too many rainbows, unicorns, flower power, and more. This is written as a satire.
Chapter 1
Meeting a Master
The young Skyler stared in sheer puzzlement at his opponent. Cold sweat bespangled his brow in the brisk wind. He prudently pulled a black handkerchief from his back pocket, and slowly wiped his forehead. Closing his eyes, he attempted to clear his mind. Slowly, he opened them.
That goddamn unicorn was still there!
"Okay," said Skyler, "something is seriously wrong here."
"What, don't you believe in unicorns?" The unicorn pouted annoyingly.
"Wait, you can-"
"I mean, I believe in humans, and is it really that hard to…"
Skyler listened in disbelief for a few minutes to the sulky rant. Finally, he introduced himself.
"I'm Skyler." Rudely, he didn't instead a hand, but then, what would unicorn shake with?
"I'm Bjorn the unicorn."
Haha, chuckled Skyler thoughtfully, what kind of gay name is Bjorn? He shook his head slightly from mirth. And as a unicorn, he's probably magical too. Skyler bit his tongue to hold his amusement inside him. He resumed his custom stoic stance, as he realized Bjorn had never stopped talking.
"…and Skyler! That's a gay name!" Bjorn looked at the young lad standing across from him.
"What the he-NO, Skyler is definitely not a gay name."
"It so is!"
"Yeah, well, I know a girl named Skyler!" Skyler blurted before realizing that it did not help his argument at all.
Bjorn began making a bizarre sound. The young lad anxiously backed away, thinking Bjorn must be having an orgasm or something. A second away from turning and sprinting for help, he became conscious that the twisted unicorn was laughing at him.
"Listen, you screwed up pony, you better get out of here right now. The only reason I'm here is-"
"Oh, I love it when you talk that way!"
"Shut up! The only reason I'm here is…uh," Skyler studdered awkwardly, "um."
"We were destined to meet!" Bjorn was blossoming. "I'm filled with happiness!" Except he put the emphasis on hap-PIN-ess, making it sound as if he was constantly thinking about…eew, thought Skyler.
"Uh…I think I'll just leave now." Skyler stepped backwards, recoiling from the apparently gay unicorn. Bjorn sighed deeply.
"I would come with you, but I have a date-"
"That's great Bjorn, I'm just leaving now!"
"-some annoying Peggle player looking for a Peggle Master-"
"You're a Peggle master!?! What the hell is this? A joke?" Skyler's mouth dropped open.
"Hey, if a pumpkin can be a Peggle Master, why can't a unicorn?"
"There's a pumpkin Peggle Master?!" Skyler's favorite sport was quickly becoming his least favorite.
"And a lobster, and an alien and-"
"Jesus Christ! Make it stop!"
Skyler was practically nauseous. Well, he thought dizzily, if I want to get better I have to beat this joke of a Peggle Master. He gathered his courage and said
"I'm the challenger, you annoying pony."
He didn't know how much saying that excited Bjorn until it was far too late.