He put his foot down. He crushed the man.
"Ouch, my stinkin' head!" said Gimli with shortness.
"Oops!" said Legolas with a secretive sneer of bad behaviourism. "Can't see that low, bro!"
Aragorn heard the sick burns from a mile away. He ran as fast as he could to the scene of the disrespect and flaunted his brand new cape.
"Groovy, my bodacious bro!" said Legolas as he and Aragorn gave one another complementary noogies.
"Bah!" spat Gimli. "You two are a poison to our great dwarven ecosystem.
Legolas cocked his right eyebrow in a hot manner. He then accentuated his elf cheeks with a smile.
"Flexin' time?" said Gandalf as he approached the group of sassy flavours.
"Yup," replied Aragorn. He used his mighty sword to dig a hole for putting down his dukes when not fighting.
Gandalf eyed the situation with wise eyes and gasped at an impending doom.
"Why do you gasp?" asked Legolas with his snazzy bow in his hot fingers.
"I see a dragon on the horizon!" Gandalf roared as he placed two stones together and summon Mr. Frodo and his big-footed entourage of three.
Frodo took out his spyglass and looked in the direction of deadly threats. He gasped just like the beardy wizard. "It is Smaug," he stated emotionlessly as he gave Sam an angry glare.
Sam began to cry about friendship and jumped onto the lighthouse. He shone a light at Smaug's face.
"My stinkin' face is shiny!" cried Smaug. "It must be money!"
Gandalf ran up to the great dragon with his flying eagles strapped to each foot like totes unique Skechers. He wielded Pippin and Merry as boxing gloves.
Smaug was busy licking his own face because money tastes like cilantro pizza and that's pretty swell, especially if you're a dragon.
Gandalf roared about his extended vacation to Chicken World and threw flaming fists of Hobbits up Smaug's smelling nostrils. He ripped apart the green residue like spiderwebs.
Smaug roared in agony as his snootz was devoured by fabulous beardness.
"Did he defeat the evil one?' asked Gimli.
"Shall I get you a box?" replied Legolas with so much dangerous sass.
Aragorn screamed because he was taken aback by the coolness in the awesome skies. He did a toe thing that amplified his raisin-eating skills by a billion percent.
This was the end for Smaug. The second ending. Cheeks and everything.
On his face. Lookin' cheeky with dat swag.
Gandalf did a simple uppercut and Smaug was done for. It was a heroic victory.
What a triumph is that?
FIN