A/N: I wrote this one based on a little comic that I doodled... I think that it's fairly poorly written, but...
I should never be allowed to interpret Yusei's character. I am deeply sorry
Dueling was on Television, as usual.
Considering that they stole their cable connection (Courtesy of Yusei's lovely abilities), Crow assumed that they would have plenty of other shows to watch. Like the food channel. But no, Jack wanted to watch the Dueling Network again, and so Crow would not be able to find a really neat and original recipe that none of them had tried before. He sighed loudly and kicked his feet out in front of him.
"Hey, Yusei, can I borrow your laptop? I want to look up something nice to cook since I can't find it on the telly," Crow spat, not taking his eyes off of the hole he was theoretically burning into the TV screen.
No response.
Crow leaned forward and turned to the left. Yusei was nodding off. He grunted. What the fuuuuuck! You never sleep! Crow thought to himself. He shook his head and went back to pouting. If he couldn't get to his food through the (stolen) internet, he was going to get that remote.
Thirteen sighing, whining, and grumbling minutes later, Jack had snapped.
"ALRIGHT!" He roared, standing up quickly. Crow silenced him, gesturing at Yusei's sleeping form. Jack's eyes darted from Yusei back to Crow in annoyance.
"Alright," he grumbled, putting his hands on his hips, "Take the blasted remote, but you better not get used to this, because I really enjoy watching dueling."
Crow smiled sweetly and snatched the remote from Jack's hand. "Yeah, sit down princess. Your stomach will thank me later."
Crow watched the television attentively, taking notes on recipe after recipe. Once or twice he had turned to Jack asking his opinion on whether he thought cayenne pepper would taste better in chili, or if he thought that natural casings were better on sausages. Each time Jack responded with a shrug or muttering or something else not particularly helpful.
Finally, Jack stretched. "I can't take this anymore. I am going to take a bath. Call me when you're done being a housewife okay?"
Crow slapped violently at Jack's legs until he was out of his view.
Jack shed the last of his clothes and threw them absently onto the floor outside of the bath. In any other situation, he would have put them away neatly (he always put his undies in first, and then his pants, and then his shirt) but at the moment he was fuming. What man, what man that duels, whines for thirteen minutes to watch cooking shows!? He would have opened a can of whoop-ass on Crow, but he looked especially tiny in that giant sweatshirt, and he pitied him. Also, Yusei was asleep and he never did that.
So Jack opted instead to take a bath and relieve some stress. There was no need to wake Yusei.
But, as he sat in the bath, Jack had a thought…
"CROW!"
Crow groaned and painstakingly ascended the stairs, wonder what the princess needed now.
"What, you stupid twat, WHAT?" Crow whined at the bathroom door, aching to get back to his television show.
"I forgot to get a towel. And I need one, can you get it for me?"
Crow flipped off the door, hoping it would get through to him somehow. "Sure thing, pal," he answered sarcastically, grumbling as he made his way to the linen closet. The sooner he got through with it the better. He tested the knob to see if it was open, and came inside.
"Here, Jack, I got your stupid-"
Crow choked on a stream of water shooting him in the face. Jack cackled, holding the shower head in his hand. He sprayed Crow's entire upper body, laughing harder at how much that stupid sweatshirt sagged under the weight of the water.
"Thanks, Crow I really needed that!" Jack mused, "Now, you can use that towel to wash away your shame!"
Crow tore the sweatshirt off angrily. "Jack you fucking dick, I'm going to kill you!"
Yusei snapped his eyes open. He turned his head towards the stairs and groaned. Crow and Jack were fighting again. He stretched and made his way lazily up the stairs, sighing between each punch and expletive he could hear being thrown.
Yusei stopped on the top of the stairs. Was that fighting coming from the bathroom?
Yusei turned nervously towards the bathroom door.
"Listen, I'm gonna teach you a lesson! If you think for one second that I'm gonna let you dominate me!"
"Shut up, Jack! You've got another thing coming! I'll show you who's gonna dominate WHO"
Yusei froze. He wasn't entirely sure if he was ready to open the door.
With a deep breath, Yusei grabbed ahold of the door knob and pushed the door opened.
"…"
The floor of the bathroom was soaked. There were puddles of water everywhere, and Jack's shampoo was spilling out in a corner. Crow's stupid pop-tart bunny sweatshirt was discarded in a soggy heap. The sight in the middle of the floor however, was the one that Yusei was not entirely sure he was seeing.
Jack was on his back, naked, with his right foot on Crow's shoulder, and the latter was straddling Jack's waist. Crow was fuming and he held the shower nozzle in his hand.
"I'm about to shove this into your ASSHOLE!" Crow screeched. Jack moved to punch him, but stopped mid-swing.
"Oh… Yusei, you're awake!" Jack groaned. Crow lowered his weapon and leaned back with an anxious smile.
"Did you have a good nap, Yusei?" Crow stood up and backed away from Jack.
Yusei looked at Jack and then at Crow, and left the room. He returned a moment later with a piece of computer paper in tow. With a smile on his face, he crossed the bathroom and gave the two of them the sheet.
"I'm really glad you guys worked that out," Yusei said. "I'm relieved."
Crow and Jack both looked at the sheet. Written in neat cursive across the page was the phrase:
"congrats on the sex"
Jack and Crow both stared silently at Yusei for what seemed like an hour. He stared back.
"Dammit, Yusei, good thing you're cute or I'd punch you." Jack grumbled.
"Hey, don't flatter me that way, Crow will get jealous," Yusei teased.
Crow lifted the shower head and shot Yusei in the face. "Shut up."