How do you forgive yourself when all you see are the mistakes you've made?
The sound of the monitor and machines were the only things that could be heard inside a room with walls painted in white. Wires from these machines were connected to a beautiful maiden laying motionless on bed.
Her long black hair was neatly tucked under her head as it was bandaged up. There was a gush of purplish black color on her cheek. There were a few scratches on her once flawless arms and legs. He hated to think that it will leave a scar.
How could this have happened? The man with chestnut colored hair asked himself as he looked at his wife. How could he be blinded with jealousy? So much so, that this had became the outcome. He tried wiping his tears and he winced as he felt his own cheek in pain. He remembered the impact of his best friend's knuckles when it collided with his left cheek.
He tried collecting his thoughts, the bits and pieces before these tragedy arose.
He remembered their wedding day, their honeymoon and even when he opened up his own company. He always remembered a smile on her face. Until 2 months ago. They have been married for three years and his company was just starting so he had to put his time on making it bigger. He was thinking of the future of his family, sure he only had a wife but soon, he's hoping to have a child with her. It would bring a smile on his face when he pictured a mini him or a mini Aya, that's the name of his lovely wife, running around the house. He would want to provide a huge space for the kids to play at. So, may be he was the one who started all these.
He recalled how Aya stopped waiting for him to come home, but he thought that this would be best for her. He was the one who always asked her to sleep early and not to wait for him anymore since he tends to get home at either one or three in the morning. During his rest days, his wife was always the one who initiate conversations, she would ask how was his week, his work or if something new had happen. This time, she had only exchange a few words and would leave the house afterwards.
His suspicions heightened when she saw her fidgeting while looking at the phone and the door. He of course asked if she was alright and she would lie that she is.
He was afraid to think that his wife was cheating but curse his co-worker who had embed something on his mind making him think this.
And so when one day he got home at an expected time just to see his theory. He saw a familiar car parked outside his house. A pair of shoes that he had seen a few times, laying neatly at the entrance of the house. Quietly, he listened as he heard voices inside a room that mostly had been locked.
"Ow!" He heard his sweet wife's voice. "Yuuya-kun please be gentle! that hurts."
"I'm sorry Aya. I'll do it slowly."
Rei almost threw up when he heard those words.
"We need to finish before Rei finds me here." And that was it! He hurriedly picked up his shoes and left his own home.
That day he got himself drank and when he got home, despite his wife's worried face he gave her the cold shoulder. For weeks, this had been his routine. He wanted to erase everything that he heard that day. He had no intention of cheating on her, he wasn't that low. However, there are just somethings that you cannot avoid.
It was only yesterday when everything came crushing down.
The image was a little blurry. All he knew was he didn't come home that time, he hated to see the hurt face of his wife even when she was cheating on him. He was at the wrong place, at the wrong time with the wrong people.
He was inside his office when his secretary came to his aid, seducing him like regular days. His wife knew about her behaviour but she trusted him more, her best friend, Ran. Was the one more persistent on having the wench fired but no he didn't listened. Despite her obnoxious personality she was efficient. He couldn't just fire her without getting a replacement and with all the things that had been on his mind, the thought just faded away.
"She's gonna get you in trouble and you know it."He remembered the orange hired gal said.
and just like that everything went south.
He remembered that employee trying to flirt with him, evading his personal space. His energy was too drained to keep the fly away. And so, like most pest... the bitch went for the kill. He felt her wrapping her arms around his neck and sitting on his lap. He felt her kissing him on his neck and the feeling of being disgusted with it. But before he could push her away, he heard a gasp followed by a thud.
When his eyes averted to the direction of the sound he saw food scattered on his floor. When he looked up he found his wife. Her eyes filled with unshed tears and horror. And just like some kind of ghost she disappeared. If not for his employees calling her name he would've thought it was a dream.
"Aya..."
He was about to get up and follow her but his secretary had pulled his arm requesting him to continue where they left off.
"Since she saw everything, she'd probably let you go. It's better this way. You deserve better"
And like some kind of spell that broke his trance. He didn't want that to happen! Aya was the only person who stood by his side even when he pushed her away. He had promised to stay with her. He might not say it alot or he might not even said it at all but he definitely love Aya.
With all his doubts and anger aside he run to follow his wife. To hell with his best friend! He'll beat him to a pulp when he sees him but for now, he has to save his marriage.
He clutches his head when he remembered what happened next. How he recalled the exhaustion of his lungs as he ran. He saw Aya crossing the streets.
"AYA!" He remembered how he tried to shout her name with all his might but she just kept on getting further.
Then -
The sound of screeching tires, horns and shattered glass could be heard. He was snapped from his reverie when he saw his wife got hit by a car.
"AYAAAA!"
The people around were frantic some were calling paramedics but he, he never felt so scared in is life. He knelt beside her. She was loosing a lot of blood.
He tries to wipe his tears again as he remembered what happened next.
When he arrived at the hospital, it only took a while before their friends came to comfort him.
He heard the words of the doctor inside his head like a broken record player.
"We manage to save her but I'm afraid the baby didn't make it."
"Baby?"
"Didn't you know? She was 8 weeks pregnant."
The air left his lungs when he heard that. How come she didn't tell him?
"I'm sorry, Rei." His best friend said. "I know-"
"What do you know?" He snapped. "For all I know that kid might not be mine!"
"What are you-"
"I heard you! I heard you and Aya having sex in one of the rooms!"
Everybody gasped and he too looked surprised. Even Mami looked surprised and hurt for a minute
"I don't know wha-"
"Oh you don't? I'm sorry I'll do it slowly... does that sound familiar? We need to hurry before Rei finds me. Does that ring a bell to you?!" Then all of a sudden he felt a punch on his cheek.
He was going to return the favor if not for their friends stopping them both.
"Fuck you! Aya wanted to surprise you!"
"Oh I was surprised"
"She was redecorating the spare room! She asked for help from me, Mami and even Miyu! She was going to tell you she was pregnant you asshole! She hurt herself that time and I was massaging her feet! If you don't believe me ask Mami! She was there too!"
Rei looked at his bestfriends wife who nodded. "Yes, I left to buy some bandages."
"Look I'm sorry that we hurt you! But don't you think you owe more respect to your wife? This is Aya that we're talking about. She loves you more than anything in this world."
This brings him to the present. He gazed at his wife filled with guilt. "I'm sorry that I failed you."
He tries to hold his wife's freehand carefully "I'm sorry that I wasn't able to put the same amount of trust in you."
He carefully gives a kiss on her dainty hand. "I'll do anything just ... comeback."
Maybe there was a person up there hearing is prayers because as soon as this words left his lips he felt her fingers twitch.
"Aya?"
He heard her groan.
"Aya." He felt so much joy right now.
And then slowly she opens her eyes.
"Rei?" Her voice was a little horsed.
"Welcome back." He said smiling tearfully.