Disclaimer: Junjou Romantica belongs to Shungiku Nakamura, not me
Australia. The damned kid was running back to Australia. What was all that talk about fate and destiny? Was he just spouting a load of crap? He had had a romantic dream, but now that the dream had turned to reality, had it all – had Miyagi – just been such a big disappointment that he was giving up and running away?
Miyagi slammed the door to his apartment in frustration. He'd tried to confront Shinobu about it. He'd tried to make him realise how badly it was hurting him – his whole life had been thrown upside down, against his will, and now the very person who had done this to him, whom he could no longer live without, was leaving him, telling him it wasn't even any of his business. None of his business? Even if Shinobu had changed his mind, even if the relationship (if you could call it that) was over and done with (Miyagi felt his heart squeeze at the thought), then Shinobu could at least do him the courtesy of explaining why. No reasonable explanation came to mind – other than that perhaps after having spent a bit more time with his idol, Shinobu had come to realise just what an old fart he really was and that he was better off with someone his own age…
Kicking off his shoes and flexing his stiff toes, Miyagi put his briefcase down against the wall and wandered into the kitchen in need of a drink. Grabbing a cold can of beer from the fridge, he popped the cap, took a long gulp and sighed, pressing the can against his forehead, feeling the moisture from the outside of the can cool him down.
Making his way over to the sofa, he grabbed the television remote from the coffee table and turned the TV on. Plopping down onto the cool brown leather, he felt his anger and frustration slip away along with all his energy, as instead panic, confusion and helplessness took their place.
He didn't want to lose Shinobu. He desperately didn't want to lose the kid – only now was he starting to realise just how much he had come to care for the boy. He paid no attention to what was on TV as he took another swig of his beer and tilted his head back against the sofa.
Images of Shinobu came into his head: the way he concentrated so hard when he cooked, the nonchalant toss of his head as he confidently fielded all of Miyagi's questions about his schoolwork, the way his brow furrowed even deeper than usual when he fought to control his expressions, to seem serious and not laugh (though Miyagi personally loved to see him laughing, the boy had a gorgeous smile). And most of all, he thought of all the many times he had seen Shinobu blush, his delicate skin flushed red all the way to his ears – the way he looked when he told Miyagi he loved him.
Did he not love him anymore then?
Had someone else caught his eye?
Why was Shinobu leaving him? Why did he suddenly want to go back to Australia? From his experience, Miyagi knew long-distance relationships never worked out.
Miyagi was surprised to suddenly realise that his eyes were watering. Pain pricked at his midnight blue eyes and he sat up quickly, taking a deep breath and holding the tears in. He hadn't cried for years – not since Sensei had passed away… And he'd be damned if he was going to start balling his eyes out over some silly, fickle kid! A guy at that!
Gritting his teeth, he stood up and went into the kitchen to grab another beer. Tossing the empty can into the recycling bin, he returned to his comfortable spot on the sofa and opened the new beer. Silently he gave thanks for the fact that it was Friday so it didn't matter if he had a hangover the next morning – he had the feeling he wouldn't be stopping at just the two beers tonight.
As he sat pondering his troubled relationship, light music suddenly caught his attention. He realised the TV was currently switched to a radio channel and a new song had apparently come on – it sounded like a cross between country and blues, or something like that. It was pleasant and easy to listen to – but the twang of the music and the slow, drawling voice tugged at his heart. The song was in English – he tried to focus and pulled out a few of the lyrics:
'I'm sitting here thinkin', sitting here drinkin' 'bout you'
Ha! Certainly an appropriate song! 'Here's to you, Shinobu-chin,' he thought, raising his can of beer to the empty room.
'I look through the mirror and all that I see
is one crazy, lonely sucker looking back at me
I'm sitting here thinkin', sitting here drinkin' 'bout you'
His fight wavered; the tears started to prick at his eyes once more. Crazy, lonely sucker… He'd been fine before… He hadn't wanted or needed anyone else since Sensei… Why did Shinobu have to turn up, why did he have to burst into his life like that? Miyagi hadn't even realised how lonely he'd been – would never have realised it if it hadn't been for Shinobu. Crazy, lonely sucker… He sure recognised that face in the mirror.
His breath hitched. He clapped a hand to his mouth, then slowly dropped his head further until his forehead rested in his palm. Closing his eyes, he felt himself start to tremble. Maybe the alcohol hadn't been such a good idea, after all.
'Ah ooh, what am I gonna do?
Cos I ain't going nowhere if I can't be somewhere with you'
"Shinobu," he whispered. "Shinobu… what am I gonna do?
Three hours later, Miyagi finally raised his head from the flattened sofa cushion. Stumbling to his feet, he knocked a few empty cans of beer onto the floor and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, before rubbing the vestiges of sleep from his eyes. Passing his hand over the rest of his face, he noted, a little embarrassed, the light moisture on his cheeks, evidence of his earlier sadness. The music channel on the television had moved onto a new genre, R&B, and he quickly turned it off. Time and sleep had cleared the alcohol-induced fog in his brain, and somehow without even trying, a plan had formed in his mind.
He wasn't going to let Shinobu leave without a fight. At the very least he would demand a proper explanation. And when Shinobu gave it, he would disprove any argument he could come up with.
It wasn't over. Their relationship wasn't over.
He would need courage. He would need conviction. He would need stealth.
And he would need a cunning disguise.
Shinobu had turned his world upside down. Well he was prepared to fight, and fight hard, to keep Shinobu with him in Japan. And if he had to go halfway across the world to bring his lover back, so be it. Never again would he lose the person he loved.