I know this is about Connor, but I wanted to write this0. The Skype names are obviously random, sorry if it's a coincidence. Enjoy! :)

After watching Connor's coming out video, I'm in tears. I'm sobbing. I'm in the living room, so I'm a bit afraid that Phil might see me, but thank God, he's editing a new video.

I'm really proud of Connor. He did what I was, what I am afraid to do. He said those words not only me, but a lot of other people needed to hear. Every word, every single thing he said was true. I know that there a lot of coming out videos, but in a way, Connor is the first person I've known for a while before he came out.

I know I need to talk to him as corny as it sounds. But I really do. So I log into my personal Facebook profile and quickly search his name among my friends. I know he'll get a lot of messages and everything, and I'm not expecting him to reply immediately.

Uhm, hi Connor, it's Dan. Dan Howell. So I uh... Watched your video and... Yeah, what you did… I don't really have the words to describe your bravery. Anyway, I know we haven't really talked before, but uhm… yeah, there are a few things I'd like to say to you. Good things. Anyway, uhm, my Skype name is pinetree666, so if you're free, give me a call. Or don't. Okay, I'll stop talking. I'm proud of you, Connor Franta. :)

I hit enter before I can chicken out. I know this isn't about me, I know that. This is about him. But in times like these, one can wonder. Connor is a role model for many of young people out there. With his coming out video he might've given the much needed help for them. So yeah, what he did was not only brave, but also a fantastic thing to do.

I'm surprised to see that half an hour later there's a new request on Skype. I laugh a bit when I see his name: InstaBoi92. I add him then, before I can press "Video call", he's already calling me.

'Dan?' he says, looking confused. Yeah, I can understand why. We only talked a few times at VidCons and Playlists, so this is surprising.

'Hi, yes, hi, I'm sorry.'

'Don't worry, it's just a bit odd. So, what's up?' He smiles.

'Uhm, I just… I know Twitter or Facebook can be a bit impersonal sometimes and I… I just wanted to tell you the uhm… I just wanted to give you my reaction to your video.' Jesus Christ, Dan why are you so awkward?

'Oh…' he says and I can see fear in his eyes.

'Don't worry! As I said it's a huge thing. I'm really happy for you.'

'Thank you. It means a lot. I keep hearing it, but it's still weird. I mean everyone says that they're proud of me, but in reality I'm just sitting on my couch thinking "Oh God, I really did it." And… I know that I'm out now, but it's still scary.' He sighs and fixes his quiff. 'But I'm really glad that you didn't call me to… You know.'

'No, never.' I shake my head. Do people still do that? It's 2014. 'Sexuality shouldn't matter. I don't know if you saw my tweet, but I did really cry. To be honest, I… when you cried, it was more touching than The Fault in Our Stars.'

It makes him laugh. Being a YouTuber means that you can see the other YouTubers as they really are. Just ordinary people, no fancy stuff. I know a lot of us, including me, say that we're not that different off camera. But in reality, we all are. Because we has to be. Because we only share like 5% of our lives with the internet, but we're so much more than that. So yeah, seeing Connor laugh like that, after such a huge video, it's something… I don't know, it's extraordinary.

'Yeah, it does say something. I'm sorry I made you cry. I wanted to cut that part out, but I realised it had such a huge meaning that it had to be in it.'

'I'm glad it's in the video. Okay, so anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm really proud of you, I'm really happy for you, and don't care about the haters. They don't matter; you do.'

'Thanks.' He smiles, fixing his hair again. 'So how are you guys over there?'

'Yeah, we're good, but… Okay, I don't want to be rude, but I'll end the call now, because this is not about me or Phil, this is about you.'

'I know we're barely friends, but you're a great one, Dan.'

'You too, Connor.'

We both smile as I end the call. I'm really happy for him, he deserves so much more. And this is really about him, but… as I said he said what I'm afraid to say.

I start walking towards the office, but I meet Phil in the corridor. I look at him, I mean I really look at him. I see the boy I fell in love in 2009 and I see the man I'm still in love with in 2014. I see the man I love and I'm afraid to admit that I love him after five years. Especially after five years.

He smiles, then out of the blue, he hugs me. I'm in 2009 again, we're standing at the train station in Manchester. That was the first time I realised I loved him. And I know that this is the time. This is the time I have to tell him.

'I'm in love with you.' I put all my life in that one single sentence, hoping that it'd be okay.