For those days we felt like a mistake,
Those times when loves what you hate,
3months
James were sick of it.
Always being alone.
Never knowing where he was or if he was even alive.
Logan going into the military was suposed to be a good thing.
Not something that would send him into a spiraling depression.
For those nights when I couldn't be there,
I've made it harder to know that you know,
That somehow,
We'll keep moving on.
6months
"I miss you."
"i miss you too babe. I cant wait to come home." he answered through the static filled phone line. James started crying silently.
"When are you coming home?"
"Soon baby."
"how soon?" James asked dejectedly
"Not soon enough-" he heard a mumbled conversation on the other end.
"I gotta go babe, we're moving out. I love you."
"I love you too," he heard a click signaling the phone went dead. "Be careful." James whispered into the dead phone line.
For all of the plans we've made,
There isn't a flag I'd wave,
Don't care if we bend,
I'd sink us to swim,
We're marching on,
12months
James stared at the plane tickets on his desk.
He was suposed to be home for the holidays.
They were suposed to go to Logans parents house for Christmas.
Logan couldn't make it. His troop was stuck somewhere for some reason he couldnt tell James. Logans only contact to James had been through a short email.'I can't get home, but i love you. Go anyway my mom would love to see you. Stay strong baby. I love you. -Logan'
James threw a pillow angrily at his closed laptop before grabbing his suitcase and walking out the door. He couldn't disappoint Logan's mom.
For those doubts that swirl all around us,
For those lives that tear at the seams,
We know,
We're not what we've seen,
For this dance we'll move with each other.
There ain't no other step than one foot,
Right in front of the other.
18months
James' world seemed to just keep deteriorating. A year and half with out Logan. James' old habits seemed to keep trying to come back the whole time. James had fought them off with Logan in mind. But today was their anniversary. And that little voice that James hadn't heard since he first met Logan was back. Telling him that one or two little cuts wouldn't hurt anyone. Just relieve the pressure. Logan wouldn't know. He wasn't here….But James couldn't do it. He couldn't disappoint Logan like that. James threw himself onto their bed to cry himself to sleep.
We'll have the days we break,
And we'll have the scars to prove it,
2years
James had been fighting the little voice for six months now. And it had been going stronger. He was going crazy. He couldn't handle it. He sent Logan an email.
Baby I'm sorry. I can't handle it. I love you. - James
*AT THE AIRPORT*
Logan's new cell phone buzzed alerting him to a new email. He smiled seeing it was from James. He hadn't told James but he was finally coming home. For good. Logan had wanted to surprise him, knowing how hard the separation was for the love of his life. Logan's smile dropped when he read the message. Luckily he'd just passed through security and had his bags already. He ran through the airport trying to call James' cell phone. But of course it was dead. It was always dead when someone needed to contact him.
We'll have the bonds that we save,
But we'll have the heart not to lose it.
For all of the times we've stopped,
For all of the things I'm not.
James barely registered the sound of the apartment door opening. He was too hypnotized by the blood currently running down his wrist and into the sink. He hadn't meant to cut that deep. Everything was fuzzy and warm, his vision was starting to go dark when Logan burst through the bathroom door. James smiled lazily thinking he was hallucinating as he died. But then Logan grabbed him. James jolted back to reality. Suddenly feeling the stinging in his wrist and the dizziness in his head from lack of blood flow. Logan started talking to him as they both fell to the floor, Logan holding on to James as if it could save him.
"Don't worry baby I called the ambulance they'll be here soon. Just hold on." he could see James starting to slip away. Even though James was trying desperately to hold on for Logans sake, his brain was a jumbled mess. Only one thought was clear and that was for Logan to sing. James could hold on if he could hear Logans voice. He opened his mouth trying to convey his message. It was barely audible but Logan heard him. So Logan sang. The only song coming to mind was the song that he sung to James to get him through his first depression all those years ago when they first met. Marching On by One Republic.
"We put one foot in front of the other,
We move like we ain't got no other,
We go when we go,
We're marching on-" he broke off as he heard the ambulance pull up out side. Tears of relief coming to his eyes.
"You'll be okay baby,"he said quickly before continueing
"There's so many wars we fought,
There's so many things we're not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We're marching on"
Hi everyone. So. if this fic was kinda choppy im sorry. It was orignially written in first person as an 'imagines your her' type of thing. but i desided to change it to slash since i personally dont like reading the other type on this website. If you want to read the original (its not much different) it is on my tumblr page :) Reviews are nice.