Max Klinger's Day Off by Melindajo2000. This is my very first MASH fanfic. Reviews would be greatly appreciated, please be kind
"Hawkeye, have you seen Max today?" Potter peeked his head into the quarters Pierce shared with B.J. and Charles. Normally a person would be addressed by his last name, especially when in trouble. Hawkeye knew that Klinger was in serious trouble when the Colonel was looking for "Max". Not that trouble was anything new for the company clerk. He was probably inventing a new way to spell insane. Good old Klinger. Someone had to keep things lively around here.
"Did you check out Sears, ladies' department? I hear they have the Christmas sale going on. Too early in the season if you ask me. But they have a heck of a deal going on right now." Hawkeye commented as he played out a two-sided round of spades with B.J.
"Ladies' lingerie. Half-off." B.J. quipped.
"You two, this is no time for jokes."
"You're right. Make an appointment with my receptionist." Hawkeye nodded at Charles, who just scowled at him.
"I'm serious, boys. If I find out you two-you three- are covering for Klinger there will be serious consequences."
"If I say that I'm covering for him will you send me home?" Hawkeye pleaded.
"I don't know why I even bother. I'm deadly serious. I'm afraid that our friend may have gone AWOL. I have Klinger a 24 hour pass 27 hours ago."
B .J., Hawkeye, and Charles all exchanged concerned looks.
"We'll be on the lookout, sir." Charles said while looking through his music records.
"That a boy. That's all for now." Potter said as he exited.
"Speak for yourself, big mouth." Hawkeye whispered.
"I beg your pardon?"
"I'm with Hawk on this one. Ha, took your King of hearts! Charles, you don't rat out a comrade. What's Klinger ever done to you?"
"You don't ever disobey a direct order from the colonel. Oh wait, look who I'm talking to. The two biggest imbeciles…"
"Did you hear that, Beej..He called us imbeciles. At least our favorite record isn't scratching as we speak. Now give me that jack."
Charles looked down in annoyance as he realized Hawkeye was right as usual.
He stormed across the room to leave.
" B.J. has the king and ace of spades." He called out before slamming the door.
Hawkeye threw down his cards. "Thanks a lot, Charles. You shot down a boy's dreams of victory."
"Oh, no you don't. You play the cards you were dealt. No one knows that better than you."
" I think I'm going to pull a Klinger and go AWOL."
"You may not have much choice. Here comes Margaret. Looks like we have incoming."
And so the two men forgot all about their card game and went off to perform their surgical duties.