Breathless: it's a state your body goes into when not enough oxygen is being pumped into your lungs. Whether from exertion, excitement, or horror, the feeling of being breathless is always the same. There's a spinning in your head, the world blurring before your eyes as images move in and out in a myriad of motion. It's like running up a large hill and falling back down all at once. Breathless.
That was how Crutchie felt in that moment, but it wasn't from running or falling, but rather from the person lying next to him, face only inches apart from his own.
Crutchie could feel his breath beginning to labor. He tried to keep it steady, keep it from being obvious to the person next to him how out of sorts he was. But with those eyes staring deeply into his own, those lips ever so slightly curved up into the smallest of smiles, it was impossible to hide the fact that he was indeed breathless.
"Can I?" Jack asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Crutchie didn't give it a second thought before nodding eagerly, wanting so badly to say yes but at the same time too petrified to form coherent words.
As soon as the motion had been made, Jack leaned forward, planting the smallest of kisses against Crutchie's lips.
Crutchie was frozen, unable to move as the older boy pressed his lips against his own. They weren't soft like you hear in all the stories, but rather were chapped and rough. Yet somehow, Crutchie didn't mind, he almost quite liked it, the way his skin glided against his own, scratching at his own lips as they moved gently over his.
Jack pulled away a moment later, his eyes opening and locking with Crutchie's. "How . . . how was it?" he asked sheepishly, a light pink blush dusting his cheeks.
"I think," Crutchie began, having trouble finding his breath. "I think I want you to do that again."
Jack grinned and complied, pulling Crutchie closer and placing his hand against the younger boy's cheek. Jack's lips moved ever so slightly, his mouth opening just a crack to better adjust to the kiss.
Crutchie tried to match the motion, but still found himself paralyzed with shock at the events taking place. It wasn't that he wasn't enjoying it, but rather that he enjoyed it so much he didn't know how to respond, resulting in lying very still as Jack moved his hand to run his fingers through Crutchie's hair.
The kiss deepened, Jack inhaling slightly and Crutchie feeling the breath expel from his lungs. He breathed in, and felt Jack's exhale enter his own, all the while never breaking the kiss.
This time Crutchie pulled away, finding the motion difficult but necessary. "What if someone comes in here?" he asked with reasonable worry.
"All the guys are outside, either still sellin' or getting a bite to eat," Jack assured him. "We ain't got nothing to worry about for another hour at least."
"You sure about that?" Crutchie asked, looking around the empty room nervously.
"Sure as hell," Jack stated. "Is this okay with you? It ain't bothering you, is it?"
"No, nothin' like that," Crutchie answered quickly. "I'se just worried about getting caught is all."
"I won't let that happen," Jack said. "Now come here."
He pulled him back into a kiss, this time with more vigor. Crutchie allowed his mouth to open slightly and Jack took the advantage to gently bite on his lower lip, sucking it softly. Crutchie gasped, unable to hold back the noise of contentment. This only seemed to egg Jack on as he pulled Crutchie closer, wrapping his leg around the younger boy's hip and pushing him down so that he was pinned between Jack and the bed. Jack began trailing kisses down from Crutchie's lips to his jaw, occasionally nibbling gently at his skin until he reached Crutchie's neck, switching up tactics and leaving deep kisses that would turn into soft sucking. Crutchie's mind was a blur, finding it difficult to focus on anything besides the warm feeling in his chest and Jack's breath against his neck. He reached out his hands and tangled his fingers in Jack's hair, holding the older boy's head in place.
Jack grinned against his neck, pausing to laugh. "I take it you'se enjoying yourself?" he asked, reaching his head back up to look Crutchie in the eyes.
Crutchie could only nod, too breathless to speak at this moment.
"What do you like?" Jack asked, tracing circles across Crutchie's cheek with his thumb.
"Anything, as long as it's you," Crutchie answered, laughing a little and finding the ability to breathe again.
"How do you feel about this?" Jack asked, reaching back to bite Crutchie's ear.
In response, Crutchie laughed. "That tickles!" he protested, playfully pushing Jack away.
"Oh, does it?" Jack asked, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "Then this must be unbearable!"
And with that Jack began to tickle Crutchie, starting across the belly and going up to the armpits. Crutchie began to laugh, starting out as a giggle but forming into something louder and more uncontrollable as he tried to roll up into a ball to protect himself from Jack's hands.
"Stop, that tickles!" Crutchie cried, a broad smile spread across his face as Jack's hands worked their way over his body.
"Yeah, that's the point, smartie," Jack said, continuing for a moment longer before suddenly stopping and quieting Crutchie's giggles with another kiss. The older boy was completely on top of him now, straddling his legs over his waist and pressing his body into Crutchie's.
Crutchie kissed back, for once matching Jack in passion. Their mouths opened and closed rhythmically, breathing into each other and occasionally biting the other's lips. Tentatively, Jack slid his tongue against Crutchie's teeth. When Crutchie made no complaints, Jack continued further, pressing his tongue farther into the younger boy's mouth, casually exploring. Crutchie made no arguments or protests, instead gently sucking on the older boy's tongue, and occasionally sliding his own against Jack's.
Jack pulled away this time, laughing as the motion created an unusual sound between their lips. It sounded sloppy and wet, but Jack decided he was fond of sloppy wet kisses.
"How was that?" he asked, wanting to know Crutchie's opinion on the matter.
Crutchie only shrugged. "To be honest, not my favorite, but it wasn't terrible."
Jack frowned. "Would you feel better if I didn't do that again?" he asked, a little disappointed, but more interested in pleasing Crutchie than himself.
"Maybe not, or at least not so soon," Crutchie admitted, still unsure of how he felt about the action.
"But I can do this all day, right?" Jack asked, leaning back in to give Crutchie another deep kiss, only opening his mouth to bite on Crutchie's lip.
Crutchie smiled. "You can do that as much as you like," he agreed, wrapping his arms around Jack's neck and holding him close.
"Good," Jack said, leaning back in for another passionate kiss, starting at his lips and eventually trailing back to his jaw and down to his neck. Crutchie gasped, resisting the urge to make any other sounds as Jack's hands trailed down his sides until they rested on his hips.
"Keep . . . keep doing that," Crutchie breathed, his mind once again going blank with pleasure.
Jack complied, sucking deeply against the soft skin of Crutchie's neck, leaving a small red mark. Crutchie's hands were once again tangled in Jack's hair, holding his head close to him. When Jack was done, he reached back up to kiss his mouth once again, pressing his lips firmly against the younger boy's, and breathing in deeply.
Crutchie sighed, a small smile playing against his lips. "Jack," he said after a few moments, a swell of emotions playing through his mind and only one dominant thought breaking through it all.
"Yeah, Crutchie?" Jack asked, not fully pulling away and his voice muffled against Crutchie's lips.
"I love you," Crutchie said, opening his eyes and looking straight at Jack, wanting the point to get across clearly.
Jack stopped, pulling away and looking back at Crutchie, for once finding it hard to breathe.
"I love you," Crutchie repeated. "Ain't no other way to say it. I love you."
Jack smiled, his heart pounding in his chest. "I love you too, Crutchie," he responded, a strange feeling spreading through his chest.
Crutchie smiled, pulling Jack's head back down and collapsing into another kiss.
There was no other word to describe how Jack felt in that moment. That beautiful, blissful, incredible moment.
Breathless.