Disclaimer:.: I Absolutely DO NOT own Harry Potter nor do I want to………………..I have stage fright!! XD this is also what happens when I haven't slept at night………just during the day………mixed with Red Jaks and AMPS

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Snape's Diary

Entry 1 Twelfth of December, 2004

"What shall I teach those insolent little brats today?" I sigh to myself during my planning time. The only one who doesn't seem so insolent is that sexy beast Draco. He may be my nephew or something like that, but he is sexier than shit.

I often find myself daydreaming about how much I wish I could make Malfoy my little bitch. Same thing with that Hermione Granger. She has the most bangin' body out of any of those little third year girls. God it seems like it has been forever since I had a good piece of ass. The small bits of getting head from Dumbledore just doesn't do it for me anymore. He normally comes way too soon anyways and when he's done doing that he leaves to go eat some Hagrid.

Today will be the day that I screw Hermione Granger.

Entry 2 Thirteenth of December, 2004

I didn't get shit from that little half-breed.. She doesn't pay any attention to me just her little crush Ronald Weasley. I just wish Professor Trelawney would trust me enough to screw. I mean her glasses are so freaking hot plus that personality of hers is just so damn good.

Oh here she is now.

Entry 3 Thirteenth of December, 2004

Well I did it! I finally got a decent piece of ass. Trelawney is a good screw. And now she is my girlfriend.. She is so damn sweet. I think I might love her!!

Here's the third years.

Entry 4 Fourteenth of December, 2004

I think every year has noticed that I'm in a better mood now. They prolly think I'm bipolar or something. I'm not I swear. I'm ADHD. Well I'm gonna stop blabbering now and go teach.

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Ten years later a new student at Hogwarts finds Professor Snape's Diary in the Room of Requirement and takes it to Hagrid and Hagrid then sells it on Ebay.

The End!

Snape will not fail you if you review this story!!

Oh and sorry about the perversity of it XD