Chapter 1: Idol Research Club

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

"An Idol Research Club?" Umi snorted her milk through her nose. It probably wasn't fair to blame their friend, Student Council President Kousaka Honoka for that, but it was embarrassing and a little painful, nonetheless, so Umi glared at her.

"Umm ... what's that, Honoka-sempai?" Umi's best friend Minami Kotori ventured. As usual, lately, Honoka had brought more of her hand-painted "SAVE OUR SCHOOL! S.O.S.!" signs to the lunch area with her. You could be forgiven for wondering why Honoka even cared so much — so much that she was neglecting her student council presidential duties and her post-graduation future, which was imminent.

The answer to that came in two words: Ayase Eli. The Russian-born, half-Japanese beauty, and Honoka's president when she was vice-president, was Honoka's school idol. She had been almost as dedicated to Otonokizaka as Honoka was. Apparently, when Honoka had seen the notice at the end of last term that Otonokizaka was going to shutter its doors in 3 years, she had fainted in front of President Ayase, and been caught in her arms. Both of them had tears in their eyes. Honoka had been a good-time-having, somewhat lackadaisical vice president. Only her respect for the president motivated her to do anything in the student council on a typical day, but that girl leveraged her influence over Honoka skillfully, and somehow, the paperwork got done, clubs got funded, and things muddled on.

Many Ototonokizaka Academy students had assumed Honoka wouldn't even run for president, but the imminent (in her view) closing of the beloved school put a fire into her. She came up with several schemes in the last month to make the school more popular. To her chagrin, only the "petting zoo event" had gotten new visitors from the middle schools, and even that had depended on Kotori slipping a tranquilizer to the female alpaca, who would have bitten the little guests otherwise.

"It's a club!" Honoka exclaimed.

Umi just looked at her.

"Where you research idols!"

Umi waited.

"Umm, why are you researching idols, sempai?" Kotori ventured again.

Honoka looked at both of them expectantly, but clearly, they weren't getting it.

"Okay, hmmmm you both know about UTX, right? Our rival!" she pronounced with distaste.

Kotori fielded that one: "Well, yes, Honoka - they're very popular now. I guess an old school like ours can't really compete with .."

"Kotori, is your mom the principal or not?"

"Ye-yes ..." Kotori stammered.

"And would she want her daughter to give up without firing a shot at the first engagement?"

"umm ..."

"I mean, where would Japan be if we'd given up after the Port Arthur attack, I ask you?"

"Umm ... I think Japan attacked the Russians and defeated them, Honoka-sempai. So, ummm it was the Russians that didn't give up?"

Umi meanwhile was looking at Honoka, astounded.

"This is a first, Honoka. I think this is the first time you've gotten a complex historical fact almost right. You might not only graduate, but actually get into college at this rate."

Honoka waved away their quibbling. Kotori was muttering something like "... and the Russians eventually lost the war, anyway ..."

"Anyway, UTX!" she began. "I was there and they have a big marquee sign for their school idols, A-RISE! And there was a little girl there, and ..."

"Hold on," Umi interrupted. "I thought A-RISE was gone when their last member, Yuuki Anju, graduated. Why are they still advertising that? Or is that your point, that they're clinging to the past, and hence, vulnerable?"

Actually, Umi thought that might be reasonable. In addition to archery club, where she imagined herself riding at the head of a horde of mounted archers, conquering Asia, she'd studied a couple of martial arts, and looking for signs of weakness in an enemy was standard fare there.

"No, Umi, that's the funny part," Honoka continued. "They're keeping it, and Anjuu is doing a project for credit at Touhou Gakuen to run it."

"Well, that is interesting, sempai," Kotori said, nodding.

"Are the other students she's replacing the lost members with as good as the originals?" Umi wondered.

"That's the funny part ... " at Umi's look, she corrected herself: "the other funny part. They're using one middle school girl and one primary school girl, instead. There aren't any actual UTX students."

"What!" Umi exclaimed. "How did they get away with that?"

"It is kind of strange, don't you think, sempai?" Kotori added.

But Honoka was already shaking her head vigorously.

"No, see, that's the genius of the whole thing. We want a future where the younger generation wants to go to Otonokizaka, right? So does UTX. I mean, want them to want to go to UTX - you know what I mean. So, anyway, they get help from the graduate, so she'll be sure to come to the reunions and maybe contribute money some day. And they get girls in the grade schools and middle schools excited about being part of the action!"

Kotori and Umi were used to smothering Honoka's fires with a wet blanket, though they wouldn't have put it that way. But this time, she seemed to be on to something.

"Honoka, what's the point, though. Is your goal to do something similar here?" Umi asked, adding, "I do see what you mean about that being a smarter idea on their part than it looks at first glance, though."

Now Honoka was nodding. "Yes! We have everything we need, too!"

Kotori and Honoka looked at each other. "We do?" Kotori asked, timorously.

"How in heck does a small old school like us have the resources for something like that like a big modern school like UTX has?" Umi demanded.

"We have a graduate at Touhou Gakuen who loves Otonokizaka, needs a project for her major, and has a little sister at Torimachi Elementary School!"

"Hmmm," Umi mused. "Well, it's true Eli has always indulged you, Honoka. And if she can get credit for doing so, she probably will help. That doesn't guarantee Arisa will be interested in this nutty scheme of yours, though."

But Honoka smirked. "Leave that to Yukiho!" she said.

"Honoka-sempai, I thought last term Eli said Yukiho told Arisa someday she wanted to go to UTX, though. Arisa was sad because she wants to go to Otonokizaka."

"Well, then," said Honoka, unperturbed, "Leave Yukiho to Arisa," adding, "And Himeko-chan says she can't do performing, but she'll join the club so we get enough members, and maybe one or two of her friends, and she'll help with our concerts!"

But then, Honoka remembered what she'd started talking about.

"Anyway! Anyway, there was a little girl there. She was all babbling about how awesome A-RISE was and she wished she could be in it, and make all her fans smile, and so on. She got mad at me because I assumed she was the same age as the little girl, Erena and told her in a few years she might be like the middle girl. It turned out she was only a year younger than the middle girl, Tsubasa. But I swear this girl does NOT look like a middle schooler. Anyway, she tried to stamp on my foot, but I dodged her. You know how good I am at Dance Dance Revolution, right? I think that and my ace dodging skills are a good omen for my future as an idol!"

Umi and Kotori looked at each other again. Honoka was getting to the "what do we say?" point now.

"So, that little girl didn't get to be part of A-RISE, right?" Honoka looked at her two underclassmen for confirmation, then assumed she had it when they didn't deny it. "Anyway, where can she go to have a chance? I think we should have at least nine idols in OUR group. One from college, three from high school, and the rest from middle school and elementary school. So the answer is, her chance is at ... ΟΤΟΝΟΚΙΖΑΚΑ! And that little girl called me an 'idol baka' and said I needed to do ten years of research on idols to even rate. So I decided I would research idols! Plus you can't get a performing club approved, anyway."

With that, she produced two club signup forms. Umi with a sigh, and Kotori with a tentaive smile, signed them. Honoka immediately dashed off towards the Student Council.

Notes:

Questions:
1. Why is Honoka a year ahead of Kotori and Umi?
2. Where the heck is everybody else?
3. What are Touhou Gakuen and Torimachi based on?
4. Why are Eli and Arisa there?