Hello!

This is the first chapter in my story titled "Fearless" and is a story I am writing in response to ccac2003's writing challenge in which an entire GWTW fanfic is to be created using an album and its song titles as the basis for the plot. I have chosen Taylor Swift's "Fearless" as my album as I think it is an appropriate description for Scarlett!

Hopefully, this story will turn out the way I am planning for in the end and will entertain all of you at the same time. I decided to write this in a diary/journal format to do something a little different especially as it's strictly written from Scarlett's point of view.

Oh, and obviously this is an AU story...I've always wondered what would have happened if, after Rhett kissed Scarlett for the first time at Rough and Ready, she realized he WAS the man for her after all, not Ashley! So, hopefully you will enjoy this 'what if' of mine and please review for me if you can! Thanks! :)

I do not own any rights to GWTW or the characters portrayed within my story!

-Chapter One: "Fearless"-

November 2, 1864

Tara, late evening

Searching through Mother's things in the attic that the Yankees headquartered here at Tara hadn't managed to uncover and steal, I found this unused journal only just yesterday and decided to make it my own. Mother once told me when I was younger that all proper ladies should keep a journal. Even though I know I have fallen short of her ideals through the years and am not the proper lady she expected me to be, after experiencing the bitterly hard times since arriving home at Tara, I find it is an excellent idea for a diversion from the horrors of my day-to-day reality anyway.

I suspected things at Tara would be bad but I had no idea they'd be like this! General Sherman's soldiers had certainly done their job in completely removing all semblance of the genteel, privileged way of life I once knew from the Georgian countryside I call home. As a result, instead of whiling away the days leisurely entertaining endless numbers of fawning beaux while wearing a beautiful new gown as I used to, my time is now spent scrounging around for any scrap of food I can find in order to feed the many starving mouths dependent on me for their very survival here at Tara.

The sad truth of the matter is that in no time at all, I Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton has become the sole caretaker for almost ten others and am the one person found among us with the strongest will to survive. With Mother dead and Rhett off God knows where after stupidly joining the Cause, I have no one left to provide the small comforts of an understanding, listening ear or the shoulder to cry on I find I desperately need in my never-ending moments of despair.

Also, I no longer think of Ashley the way I did for so many years on end. In fact, I now realize my so-called love for him was nothing more than a girlish infatuation and I understand he and his old-fashioned ideas truly wouldn't have made me happy after all had I managed to ensnare him. However, I do long for those easygoing days in which life was fun and carefree and that which Ashley was a part of here in Clayton County but it's obvious they are now gone like the fire that swept through Atlanta with Sherman's men. Those times seem so far removed from this new world and way of living that I realize are here to stay for good and if I am to not only survive but thrive in this new world, I must quickly change almost everything I once thought about myself and my capabilities too! Endlessly hanging on to thoughts of Ashley and my youthful idealizations of him in a time like this is foolish and no longer serves any worthwhile purpose in my life. Besides, someone else has immediately wrenched all thoughts of loving him as I once had out of my mind and since this journal is supposed to be an entertaining diversion away from my harsh realities of life I will now think and write only about Rhett!

I never thought I'd ever live to see the day knowing it was Rhett Butler I've been in love with all along! The sudden understanding of my true feelings struck me as if a Yankee cannonball landed right on my head! Other than the endless hunger I constantly feel deep in the pit of my bitterly sour stomach, the tragic thought of Rhett getting himself killed has been weighing heavily on my mind for the two months since he left me at Rough and Ready. They have been two long months in which I have had nothing but endless time thinking the worst regarding his fate; not knowing if the deep feelings of love I finally realize I have for him have come much too late in the end.

I know how it appeared that I once seemed to hate him for knowing the secret of my former love for Ashley as well as understanding more about my personality than no man other than a husband ever should know, but that's no longer the case. It was shortly after my arrival here at Tara when, to hide away from the unfortunate reality of Mother's sudden death as well as the state of my new found poverty, thoughts quickly turned to the more pleasant moments in my life and I began reminiscing over my many conversations in Atlanta with Rhett. Of course my thoughts eventually turned towards the memories of the night he rescued me, Melly and her baby Beau, Prissy, and Wade from Atlanta. I still can't believe how brave he had been risking his own life by stealing that broken-down carriage and half-dead horse from the army stable in order to help us leave the city as those damn Yankee varmints burned it down all around us! Rhett may insinuate he is no gentleman but I know otherwise as no true blackhearted scoundrel would do what he did in order to safely whisk us away from the dangers we faced that night!

I must admit if only Mother was still alive, she would be quite ashamed if she only knew what I am about to write next…The scandalous truth of the matter is how much I enjoyed the feel of Rhett's arms around me as he forcefully hauled me out of the carriage before declaring his love and giving me the most unbelievably scandalous kiss! That deeply intimate, possessive kiss left me both weak in the knees and my body numb all over and never before had any beaux kissed me in such a way that provoked my deepest anger while highly exciting me to no end like Rhett had! At the time, I was affronted at the unexpected manner in which he seemed to instantly remove what few ladylike sensibilities I had left but in all truth, I wanted our kiss to continue on forever! Unfortunately, after Wade cried out for me, instantly breaking the heat of the moment, I instantly reacted by slapping his face before immaturely telling him I hoped a cannonball would land on his head! At that very moment, I meant every word that had been spoken out in my anger but of course, I know now that my harsh words weren't the truth and I hope Rhett, wherever he is right now, realizes that too.

The fact that he suddenly decided to go off and join the Cause also was infuriating, especially since he was leaving me solely responsible for the all the others and with those nasty Yankee varmints hiding out in the countryside all around us, no less! Even though I haven't been one to pray to God very much, I find Mother would be proud that I am always saying prayers in my head on Rhett's behalf each and every day since the realization of how much I truly do love him! Today, as I stood hungry in the middle of the parched, barren vegetable garden under the harsh glare of the midday sun, I immediately felt the warm flow of salty tears coursing down my cheeks; my emotional anguish complete as I fell to my knees praying with all my strength that God would not only keep Rhett alive but also give me the strength to do something, anything to get him back to me safely and out of that army before he gets himself killed! After violently vomiting in the red earth after I dug up and quickly ate the remnants of a horse-trampled radish, the knowledge of what I must do to help Rhett suddenly dawned on me after I fell to my knees and cried out all my anguish and sorrows to God as I never have before.

I, Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton, have never been one to back down from a challenge of any sort and with the new challenge that instantly came to my mind as a grace from God Himself I firmly believe, I find that I must be braver than Rhett had ever been the night he came to my rescue in Atlanta like a knight in shining armor. The truth is that I have decided to leave Tara, the tiresome, endless days of hunger, Melly, Wade, Pa, my sisters, Mammy, Pork, and the other servants behind for a while as I have the strangest feeling Rhett now needs me more than they do!

I know I must remain strong and am going to need to quickly discover a sense of fearlessness inside of me with what I understand I will be putting my self through in order to accomplish my goal! It's definitely not going to be easy but my decision is made and as soon as I can make sure there is enough food left behind for the others to last for a couple of months, I am going off in search of Rhett to inform him of my undying love and bring him home safely.

Until I next write,

Scarlett

Thanks for reading! If you have a moment, please review if you can...thank you!