NEEDING TO TALK
AUTHOR'S NOTE/DISCLAIMER
Takes place directly after "A Dead Kid, A Notebook, And A Lot Of Maybes" and deals with past abuse. Belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC. I only own Jay's past and Madeline Parks.
Jay blew out a breath as he walked up to the house and knocked on the door. Hope she doesn't mind me just showing up like this, he thought to himself. The door opened to reveal a woman with red hair and hazel eyes, wearing a t-shirt and jeans.
"Jay, what are you doing here?" she asked in surprise. I haven't seen him in a while. Not since the case involving Phil Rodiger, she thought to herself.
"Sorry, Madeline. Um…we had a case today. A guy who was touching kids," he answered and the woman's face became sympathetic. Of course. It brought everything back, she realized.
"Come on in," Madeline Parks said, opening the door and standing aside so that he could come in and he did so, following her to the living room. "Do you want anything to drink?" she offered.
"No. Thanks," he replied as he sat down on the couch.
"Tell me what happened," she encouraged, sitting across from him.
"We looked into this guy who was abusing kids and he paid some guy to kill one of the kids he abused. It just…it was the same as when Rodiger killed Ben Corson to make me keep my mouth shut," he answered, his voice breaking. And that was the problem: he knew exactly what Collin and Ethan had gone through because it had happened to him.
"Jay…you know that wasn't your fault," Madeline stated, reaching over to touch his knee in a comforting gesture.
"Yeah, of course. It's just..it brought up all those same feelings. The anger, the shame…the humiliation…" The officer cut himself off and he tried to swallow the lump that had appeared in his throat to no avail.
"What are you thinking?"
"That I remember how it felt wanting to die just so that I could escape." Madeline nodded as Jay continued to talk, listening and making the appropriate comments when necessary. Though she hadn't seriously counseled Jay in a long while, she still talked to him from time to time when a case hit him hard. And this was one of those times. "I mean, this kid…loner, withdrawn, kept to himself, played video games…he was me." Madeline nodded. "And the coach was the mentor. He had everyone fooled…just like…"
"Just like Phil Rodiger had everyone fooled."
"Yeah." Madeline fell silent as Jay continued on, his voice shaking every once in a while. She had a feeling that this was going to be a long night, but she didn't care. Jay was needing to talk and she was going to let him. She would be right here listening to what he had to say-whatever he wanted to talk about-for as long as he needed. She wasn't going anywhere and she never would…