Raphael: So, this is how it ends. All four of us, a few hundred feet in the air, dangling from the spider-web thin strands of steel, falling down to collide with the concrete below us. It's one hell of a way to die, and definitely not how I planned to end up. The city is writhing below us, right now. I can see little flecks of people, all gathered in clumps and staring up at us. The bastards don't seem to have anything else to do but stare. Strange how such a petty little thing can still piss me off, especially now.
You know that cliqued term of your life flashing before your eyes right before you kick the bucket? Complete crap. Nothing was going through my head at that point other than how much it would hurt to hit that pavement, and how I hated that my brothers were joining me. At least we'd all go together, but still….that wasn't much of a comfort. I always thought I'd be the first to go, even planned it that way a few times. I didn't ever think that we'd all be facing death as one big, dying, happy family. If the situation wasn't so screwed up, I might have laughed.
The metal's groaning like a wounded animal under our weight. I can feel it buckling beneath my fingers, as the tower shifts and twists, sliding downward like an avalanche. Mikey whimpers, and Donny sucks in a sharp, bracing breath before he closes his eyes for a moment. Leo, ever the hero, is calmly staring down the city, but I can see his fingers trembling, and his eyes suspiciously wet. For once, I don't tease him about it.
This whole thing sucks, you know? Of all. There's not much I can do about it, now, though. Hell, there's nothing to be done but hold on and wait.
From the way this tower is tilting, we won't have to wait for long.
All I can do is hang on as the spire topples further down towards the concrete. I glance at my brothers.
Mikey's eying the concrete with wide-eyed terror etched in his features. His mouth is wide open-not unusually for him-but he's gaping at the cement and I imagine his brain is burning with the thoughts of how much it will hurt when we hit it. We're all in the same position now-arms and legs tangled up in the crossbeams, fingers and legs and elbows hooked and spread and grappling for whatever we can find to cling to. It's useless at this point. Hell, it's hopeless. But, it still beats the alternative of letting go and just kissing the concrete. Mikey whimpers, and shakes his head. My gut twists when he gives us all a bright smile, forced and false as he whispers, "It could be worse…at least we're all together."
Leo's staring downward, his eyes narrowed as he glances at the rest of us. I can see the futile, instinctive twitch in his fingers as he reaches towards Mikey to give some comfort, and his flinch as he hooks his elbow back on the beam. If he lets go, he falls first. From that tortured look he gives the ground, I can almost feel the thoughts swirling in Fearless's head. He doesn't want Mikey to watch any of us die.
"I think this is it, guys!" Donny always had a way of announcing the obvious that irritated the hell out of me. And our rapidly approaching exit was becoming more obvious. The spire was still suspended, midair, its jutting beams shoved into the handholds that it landed in, and it gives us a few welcome seconds.
There's a brutal, vicious halt in our fall as the end of the spire slices deep into the top of another building, and lingers there for a tortured moment. The impact rocks through the spire, and I feel the shudder bone deep as we helplessly sway with the reverberation. We linger in the air, hung literally between heaven and earth, and I feel the burn of tears in my eyes and the snot clogging my nose.
"Does anybody have anything they want to say?"
Leo asks the tortured question, and for a moment, I can't answer it. I never thought what my last words would be. Never had to, before.
At my side, Donny swallows hard, his lips twisting against his teeth. His eyes are huge behind his glasses, and he's so scared right now that he's on the verge of collapsing into hysterics. He eyes the shortening distance between us and the ground, and his words spew out, trembling and babbling, "I'm the one who licks the icing off the Pop-Tarts every morning and puts them back in the box!"
Leo's jaw drops, and Mikey snorts. Glad somebody can find some humor in this situation. Donny's face contorts, and he shakes his head, and he looks like he's choking on something, before he opens his mouth again.
Whatever he was going to say is cut off as the spire rolls forward and drops again. It's dizzying and weird to watch the sky and the ground spin as our little cage begins its death spiral.
Mikey curls and lurches upward into the empty bars, as he cracks a terrified smirk. "I so do not understand the ending of Lost."
The joke lingers, and something inside me hurts, when I think of my brave baby brother, facing down the finality of the whole thing, and he still has enough guts and grace to try and make it lighter.
Leo gave Mikey a broken smirk at the attempt. He looks at me, then, his eyes dark and anguished, as he almost timidly asks me.
"Raph?"
I flinch, and breathe and choke all at the same time. My fingers claw against the metal, and my eyes burn and start to spill over.
"I just..uh.." The words clog in my throat, as we start falling again. The sky is swallowed up by the shadows of the buildings and the ground oh so nicely rises up to kill us. We're now down to moments.
This is it. Damn it, this is really, truly it.
"If this is our last moment together, I just want you guys to know that I'm sorry."
Leo's mouth twists and he shakes his head, and I spew like a volcano. Leo needs to hear this. They all need to, now.
"I'm sorry I was so hard on you. Every time I pushed you, I threatened you, I pushed you beyond your limits, it was because I believe in you!"
Leo yanks his head up to face me, as he stares in silent shock. I don't blame him. He's never heard me spill my guts, or confess to having any more concern for them than I would a cockroach. I see the dismay flicker across his features as he breathes in. I can see now that he's fracturing, but doing his damnest not to sob.
"I believe in each one of you! I believe in your spirit, and your intelligence, and your potential!"
Donny gives me a silent nod, and a nudge. His gentle acceptance dribbles over me like water, and I wish, wish, wish I had said something sooner.
"And every time I talked about walking away, it was because I was scared!"
By then, the ground is swelling up, and open as a wound. Mikey gives me a wan smile.
"Dude…we're all scared now."
I heard Donny mutter something in agreement, but he doesn't look at me. He's studying the ground intently, mentally counting off our last moments in neat little inches and seconds, maybe calculating how much brute force needed to squish us at last.
"I just didn't think I was good enough to stand next to you, and call you brothers, and say to you, I love you! I love you guy so much!" It's a panicked little speech, with each word being savagely yanked from my very soul. Normally, this sort of confession would be humiliating, but if we're all dying anyway…I didn't want it to end like this. I didn't want the last words to my brothers to be anything besides the "good-byes and love yous."
Everything is smeared, with the blurred wet now leaking from my eyes, but I don't dare let go to wipe them away. At my side, Leo is silently weeping, Donny is shaking, and Mikey gives me a sad smile.
To be continued?
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