STEVE- the mediator
BOBBI- the actress
JILL- the lawyer
SHERMAN- the judge
HOMER- the hobo
AUDIENCE- cheering idoits
Setting:
A purple courtroom
SHERMAN: All rise! All sit down! Haha! All right. Whee! Another all! Anyway. We are all here today at the trial of BOBBI, the actress.
BOBBI: I want to call my agent!
JILL: I'm sorry. You can call me though, your lawyer! I have a new cell phone. Wanna see?
BOBBI: No.
SHERMAN: In today's case, we have two people, the aggressor and the victim, together for the first time in 5 minutes. (Audience gasps) Yes, I know. STEVE, bring out HOMER!
STEVE: (brings out HOMER)
HOMER: (is brought out by STEVE)
BOBBI: (attacks HOMER)
STEVE: (breaks up fight)
AUDIENCE: STEVE! STEVE! STEVE! STEVE! STEVE!
SHERMAN: BOBBI was charged with 1st degree toastercide sometime last March. BOBBI? Would you like to tell you're side of the story?
BOBBI: No.
JILL: I'd advise you to tell the story. If you can't remember, I could type one up for you on my new cell phone. Are you sure you don't want to see it?
BOBBI: Kay. No. No. Well, when I was an adolescent, I used to have a pet cat named Cow. Cow used to chase cars like a dog. Well, he got run over by a car one day and died. I was sad. When I saw HOMER, he looked like the car that ran over Cow. It made me sad. So I tried to run over him to teach him a lesson. He didn't die though. So I murdered his toaster. It looked kinda like a piece of grass. I hate grass.
SHERMAN: Kay. HOMER? What's your side of the story? According to you, were you the beneficiary or the..er..unbeneficiary?
HOMER: I like cheese.
SHERMAN: So do I! Have you ever been a subscriber to Cheese Unlimited? I am a regular patron of their company. Try their Gouda.
HOMER: I like cheese.
JILL: I'm sorry, but my client is too stressed to answer properly today. Right HOMER?
HOMER: I like cheese.
SHERMAN: Indeed.
BOBBI: YO! I thought I was your client!
JILL: Well, I dislike being a dependent to one side of the case. You can all be my clients! SHARE THE LOVE! BUY A CELL PHONE!
HOMER: I like cheese.
BOBBI: Well, cause the guy I tried to murder is an idiot, can I go?
SHERMAN: Well, being a novice to the law, I decided that JILL is guilty of cellphoneobsessivness. 10 million years in jail! HAHAHAHAH!
HOMER: I like cheese.