The Real Voldemort
A parody by Tom Greenish-Blue, aka Shankz
Verse 1
"Real Slim Shady" by Eminem
"Will the Real Voldemort please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Voldemort please stand up?
We're going to have a problem here"
Y'all act like ya never seen a Death Eater before
Jaws on the floor, and jumpin' in the Common Room
Like Ron and Harry, Hermione burst in the door
Started nagging at them worst than before
It's the return of the...Aye! Wait, you're kidding, Moody didn't just do what I
Think he did, did he?
And Wormtail said- Nothing you Muggles! Wormtail's my slave; he's locked in my flat's basement (haha)
Gyrffindors love Voldemort, (chigga chigga)
"Voldemort, I'm sick of him, look at him
Walking around being called 'You Know Who'"
"Yeah, but he's so evil though"
I probably got a thousand of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's going on in a Auror's Meeting Room
Sometimes, I just want to get on the radio, and let loose
But I can't. And it's cool for Harry Potter to try to kill me.
"My scar is on my head! My scar is on my head! And if I'm lucky
I might get a little face-time!"
And that's the message we deliver to little wizards
And expect them not to know what "Adva Kadavra" is
Of Course, they're gonna know what a Death Eater is
By the time the hit Hogwarts, they've got Slytherins, don't they?
We ain't nothing but humans-
Well, some of us Ghosts
Who haunt other people like the Exorcist
But if we can haunt the wizards, and muggles,
There's no reason that a wizard and a troll can't elope!
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote,
Death Eaters, wave your wands
Yell "Imperio!"
There it goes:
I'm Voldemort,
Yes, I'm the real Voldie
All you other Voldemort's are just imitating
Won't the real Voldemort please stand up?
Please Stand up?