The Sound of My Heart Breaking, Part I
" I bet they'regay", Jessie thought when she watched the two tall men walk into the reception of the Glendale Motel. From her vantage point of view right across from the motel she had been able to see both of them in their black '67 Chevy Impala drive up to the parking lot earlier. At first, all she could see was the driver's back when he got out of the car but when the other guy got out too, they turned to each other and Jessie was able take a good look at both their faces. She gasped. "Oh, my god! You gotta be kiddin' me!" was the first thought that came to her mind. "Wow, they're gorgeous!" was the second. Granted the driver was the one with the more beautiful features but it was the other one, the taller one, who had made Jessie's heart skip a beat. He had dark shaggy hair and broad shoulders and seemed to be in his late twenties just like her. He was handsome all right but in a more masculine way than the other one. But what drew her to him the most was that he had one of the saddest expressions on his face she had ever seen on a man before. "Poor guy!" Jessie's heart was going out to him that very instant. "Poor guy? What's wrong with you today? They're definitely gay. They're too perfect. Get a grip, for goodness sake!" Jessie couldn't believe herself. But, however things were, she just couldn't take her eyes off of him. When they walked out of the reception again to get their stuff from the trunk of the car, the sight of him made her pulse start to race and she felt a knot in the pit of her stomach. "Woah, easy there, girl! Ain't no use losing your head or heart over that guy. He's taken." Luckily, whatever had attracted her to him seemed to subside the very moment the men disappeared into their room. One room. Together. "Yeah, that figures." Jessie shook her head, took a deep breath and went back to work on the old green VW bus. She had been working on its motor all evening trying to find out what was wrong with it when she had been interrupted by the two strangers' arrival. "Come on, baby. Be nice. Talk to me." She knew that people thought she was a little weird because she talked to the cars she had to fix but it helped her. Most of the time at least. But today seemed to be one of those not so good days that she sometimes experienced. Jessie tried hard to concentrate her thoughts on the task at hand but her mind kept going back to the taller guy. "Bummer. Why can't I be a guy?" she thought sadly. "Wow, where did that come from, missy? You like being a girl." And she usually did. But if by some miracle she could have had one wish right then and there, she would have wished to be the prettier guy, just so that she could maybe kiss the other one. Just once. Just to know what his lips would feel like on hers. Just to make the deep sadness vanish from his eyes. She wondered what color they were and if he was a good kisser, and then what his hands would feel like on her skin and- "Hold it right there!" She closed her eyes and took a couple of steadying breaths and silently counted to ten.
Dean went back to the Impala to get the rest of their stuff from the trunk when he noticed liquid dripping from the front of the car. "Damn!" he thought angrily. "Don't do that to me, baby!" He crouched down to check where the liquid was coming from and then opened the hood just to be sure but he already knew that it had to be the radiator. "Damn, damn, damn!" He looked at his beloved Impala with a pained expression on his face. Dean went back inside the motel room again and kicked one of the chairs in frustration. "What's the matter, Dean?" Sam asked quietly. "Damn radiator's busted. That's what's the matter!" Dean wanted to hit something. Hard. The car meant a lot to him, it had been his late father's parting gift, his legacy, to him and he hated to see it hurt. It was all he had left that reminded him of him and the times they had shared together. "Isn't there a garage right across from the motel?" Sam said cautiously so as not to enrage his brother any further. Dean's face lit up. "Man, you're right. Here's where you're attention to detail comes in handy. I'm gonna go over there right now."
"…eight, nine, ten!" Jessie smiled and opened her eyes again and nearly had a heart attack. The prettier guy was standing right in front of her, grinning as he watched her intently. She coughed once and had to actually pinch herself behind her back to make sure this was real and that he was indeed standing there. If she had thought that he was beautiful before, she was overwhelmed at how beautiful he really was up close. His eyes had a lovely dark shade of green, his lips were full and pouty, sending out a subtle invitation that they were made to be kissed, his nose was a tad crooked but it made his face even more interesting and a myriad of tiny almost invisible freckles covered his face making him look sexy and boyish at the same time. Jessie looked like a fish out of water, repeatedly opening and closing her lips but not being able to formulate any words. For a moment there Dean thought that she might be a mute or something but Jessie quickly recovered from her initial shock. "I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting to see anyone and when I saw you standing there I was kinda surprised. Anyway. Hi, I'm Jessie. What can I do for you?" "I'm looking for a mechanic." An amused grin was playing on his lips. "That wouldn't be you by any chance, would it?" Jessie shrugged her shoulders. "Shocking, I know. But yeah, that's me!" His grin broadened to a smile. "Great. Hope you can help me. My name is Dean, Dean Winchester. I've just arrived here with my brother Sam-" "Your brother? I thought you were…Never mind what I thought. I'm so sorry I interrupted you. Please, do go on!" Jessie felt heat rising in her cheeks. "As I was saying, we've just arrived here. We're staying at the motel right across from here. I have a '67 Chev-" "Chevy Impala. Yeah, I know. Sweet ride! I saw her when you drove into the parking lo…I'm so sorry. I did it again." Jessie felt her cheeks heat up even more. "You were saying…" she prompted when he didn't start talking again. "Please. I promise I won't do it again. I won't say another word." The pleading look on her pretty face consoled Dean a little and made him change his mind as he was about to leave. "Ok. So I may talk now?" Dean asked acidly. Jessie made a zipping motion over her mouth and quickly nodded her head. "Good. I have a busted radiator and I was wondering if you happen to have a spare one lying around here somewhere?" "For a classic car like that? I'm sorry, no. But I might know someone who does! Do you want me to call them?" Dean slightly nodded his head. Jessie nodded hers too and walked over to the phone on the counter and dialed a number. She didn't have to wait long for somebody to pick up the phone on the other end of the line.
While Jessie was talking to whomever she was talking to, Dean had some time to take a closer look at her. Although she seemed to be wearing almost no make-up, her face looked really pretty. Her skin was slightly sun-tanned and had the color of honey, she had long light brown hair that she had tied back with a red bandana, soft brown eyes that seemed to liven up every time she talked about anything remotely resembling a car. It was too bad he couldn't see more of her figure the blue coverall she was wearing over her normal clothes didn't really show off her assets that well. Dean had to admit that he was rather impressed by her. A pretty girl who knew her way under the hood of a car was a sure turn-on for him. But he could tell that she wasn't interested in him that way at all though. Sure, she had seemed a little stunned at seeing him earlier on, he sometimes had that effect on women but usually when girls liked him they flirted with him shamelessly. But not Jessie. She spoke to him in a matter-of-fact way only about his car. Dean had to smile again when he realized the reason for this. No, it didn't take a rocket scientist to know why she wasn't interested in him. She had admitted earlier that she had seen him and his brother arrive here and she obviously liked Sam. He had seen the sparkle in her eyes when he had told her that they were brothers. She had probably thought they were a couple. It wasn't the first time that people had mistakenly thought they were gay and he was sure it wouldn't be the last. But it had never bothered him. What did bother him though was that he knew for a fact that his brother would not be interested in Jessie. He seemed to have taken a vow of chastity of late, surely because he thought he had to punish himself for having taken the wrong road before and having started Armageddon while down there. "Oh, Sammy. You don't know what you're missing out on." A smirk appeared on Dean's face but disappeared as he heard Jessie almost scream into the receiver. "What? You gotta be jokin'. That's too much. You can't do that, you bast-""How much does he want?" Jessie covered the bottom part of the receiver with her right hand. "Three hundred dollars! He knows it's way too much but he won't budge. I could try another place-" Dean shook his head. "No. I'll take it." Jessie looked at him incredulously. "You sure?" When he nodded, Jessie put the receiver back to her left ear again. "Ok, listen up, you rip-off. You'll get your money but only if the radiator'll be here by tomorrow morning. Eight o'clock sharp. And no extra charge for the delivery either. Deal?" She held her breath as she waited for the response. Jessie heard the person on the other end exhale and was almost sure that they would decline when all she heard was "Deal!" and then the sound of the phone clicking. She hung up too and smiled as she turned to Dean. "We got it!" she said triumphantly. "Perfect. Listen, it's kinda late. I thought maybe you'd wanna grab a bite? I'm starving." Jessie glanced at the floor and when she looked back up at him again she shook her head. "I'd love to but I-I can't. I mean, I don't know you from Adam. You could be an axe murderer for all I know." Dean smiled, flashing his perfect teeth and tried to look as innocent as possible. "Come on. You really think this is the face of a killer?" Jessie had to swallow hard. She had to admit he was very hard to say no to but she also knew that looks could be deceiving. There was one sure-fire way for her to find out who he really was though. She hadn't done this in a while, hadn't used her special power mainly because she was still more that just a little afraid of it. Jessie hesitated a second longer but finally gave in to her curiosity and stretched out her right hand to Dean. "Ok, let's shake on it." Dean thought she was making a joke but when her hand remained where it was, outstretched in front of him, he took it. Jessie had about a millisecond to prepare herself for what was about to happen. The moment her palm and his met, she felt the familiar current running through her arm and then countless images started flashing before her eyes. Slowly at first but then the images manifested themselves in her brain with a velocity that made her head spin. "Oh, my God!" was all she could whisper before her brain thankfully decided to shut down and she lost consciousness.
"Azazel. Castiel. Lilith…" Jessie kept on muttering under her breath as she was slowly starting to wake up again. "Are you hearing this, Dean? How does she know all those names?" Sam was watching Jessie carefully. "I have no clue. Maybe she's a psychic?" Dean shrugged his shoulders defensively. He had carried Jessie to their motel room after she had fainted and had put her on Sam's bed. Dean was just as anxious as his brother to find out what had happened to Jessie and how and why she seemed to know so much about him. She suddenly fell quiet and was now slowly opening her eyes and looked into a pair of unfamiliar ones in front of her. "Green. Pretty." She said softly. "Pardon?" Sam leant over Jessie in order to understand her better. "It's you." Jessie beamed at Sam whose face was just a couple of inches away from hers now. Sam actually didn't want to smile back at her but his mouth seemed to move as if it had a mind of its own. "Wow. Dimples. Cute." Jessie raised her left hand and touched his cheek. She gasped as images kept flooding her mind again. Just as with touching Dean, it was hard for her to find her way back out of the place she went to when this happened, when she saw other people's past flashing before her eyes. Jessie felt like throwing up and more than just a little faint but she concentrated hard on Sam's beautiful eyes and managed to stay conscious this time. When the images stopped appearing, she let her hand drop onto the rough material of the bed cover. Although her knees felt wobbly she got up and looked at them. "You both brought on the Apocalypse." There was no emotion in her voice as she spoke. Sam looked at his brother with a horrified look in his eyes. Dean seemed to be just as shocked as he was. "What are you talking about?" Dean took a step towards Jessie. "I saw it. I saw everything. You were in hell." Jessie looked at Dean and then turned to Sam. "And you drank demon blood. You broke the first and the last seal. Now we're all going to die."
Although she had seen it in her mind before, live and in color, saying the words out loud now made her feel like she had been punched in the stomach. Her knees buckled and she slid to the floor. She felt silent tears running down her face as she sat down. "How…how do you know all this?" Sam felt shame rising inside of him. How the hell did she know about the things he had done and that he would never be able to forgive himself for? He knelt down fully intending to help her up but Jessie put her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest still crying hard. Sam felt Jessie's hot tears dampen his shirt and he knelt down beside her and put his arms around her trying to comfort her. When his cheek accidentally touched hers she turned to him and their eyes met. Thunderbolts and lightening seemed to be hitting them both at the same time. And as if in a fever they started kissing, ripping at each other's clothes. Dean looked at them in surprise and couldn't believe his eyes. He coughed once, then once again but neither of them seemed to be willing to acknowledge his presence. "Excuse me, guys. There's another person in this room. Hello!" They were rolling on the floor now, groping and kissing hungrily. Dean looked up to the ceiling, considering for a moment to leave them to it but then something occurred to him. This thing with Jessie and Sam was way too sudden and it certainly didn't feel right. He couldn't put his finger on it just yet but somehow he knew this wasn't right. It was strange and almost as if…almost as if they were both under a spell. Yes, they were under a love spell! He didn't know how he knew but years of dealing with the supernatural and black magic had taught him to trust his instinct even if he didn't have solid proof. He looked around the room, thinking of where the hex bag containing the charm might be hidden. But then he realized that no-one could have planted it in their room, they had only just arrived here. The only logical conclusion was that it had to be with Jessie. Dean took a deep breath and leaned down going through the pockets of Jessie's coverall, which was a pretty sticky task as she and Sam were still rolling around the floor. When he finally found it, he took his lighter and set the hex bag on fire.
The moment the fire consumed the little leather bag completely Sam and Jessie stopped kissing. They were both still panting hard but at least they were apart now. "Thank you, Dean." Jessie said breathlessly. Dean was about to tell her to go to hell. How could she thank him when she had brought the hex bag with her in the first place? But then he realized something and turned to her. "You didn't know there was a hex bag in your pocket, did you?" Jessie got up, too embarrassed to even look at Sam who was still lying on the floor, trying to catch his breath. She turned to Dean and shook her head. "No, I didn't. But I know who put it in there." "Who?" Jessie sighed deeply. "My kid sister, Amy." "Who are you? You're not just a mechanic, are you?" Sam finally had gotten up too now and was looking at Jessie, waiting for her to answer his questions. Jessie bit her lip and lowered her head. "I'm…" It was obvious that it was difficult for her to confide in them. "I'm a witch…sort of." "Sort of? What's that supposed to mean?" Sam asked her indignantly. "It means that I'm not very powerful. The only thing I can do, as you might have guessed already, is see the past of a person when I touch them. Amy's the real deal though. She can do things I wouldn't even dream of doing and she's only seventeen years old. She's always told me that she wanted me to fall in love with a good guy. Obviously, she got tired of waiting and took matters into her own hands." Jessie finally turned to Sam. "I'm sorry, Sam. I should have known. I should have known this wasn't real. That it was just a spell. I mean, I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. That is so not like me. That's not like me at all." Jessie's brown eyes filled with tears and Sam was about to take her into his arms again when he realized what he was doing and held himself back. He had felt something really overpowering just moments ago. And now that it was over he didn't know what to do. He knew it had only been an illusion that it had been nothing more than a spell but it had felt so real. He was confused and strangely enough felt a sudden sadness wash over him. It was just a spell. Nothing more, nothing less. Not something he had been under before, he had been possessed by a demon once but a spell was something totally new to him. And it scared him more than just a little. Sam could almost still feel Jessie's lips on his, her hands on his body. It had been a long time since he had been with a woman. And he had to admit that she had felt so good under him. So damn good. He shook his head, trying in vain to forget the last few minutes. "It's ok. It wasn't your fault." He said coldly. "I think I better go now." Jessie walked to the door. She started to turn the knob but then changed her mind and turned to face Sam again. "It is my fault. I should have known better." Sam felt a sudden pain in the vicinity of his heart when he heard the remorse in her voice. Since he had closed his eyes earlier he didn't see her walking back up to him. Sam gasped when he felt Jessie press her lips on his in a tender kiss. "I'm so sorry." She repeated softly. He managed to remain motionless but had to try hard to hide his inner turmoil. Only when he heard the sound of the door closing did he dare open his eyes again.
"A love spell. Wow!" Sam could make out the incredulity and mirth in Dean's voice. "That Amy sure's something, don't you think? I'd really like to meet that kid. How you feeling, Sammy? You're not gonna zombie out again or something?" Dean smirked at his brother. "Don't think so." Sam turned around to go into the bathroom. He flicked the switch and glanced at his image in the mirror. He couldn't stand the sight of himself anymore, the gravity of his past actions was weighing him down and he wished that his brother had not made the deal that had brought him back from the dead. If only they could turn back time. If only! Sam glanced at the mirror again and imagined seeing Jessie's beautiful brown eyes in it. It had only been a lie. Just a lie. And yet it had felt so real while it had lasted. Sam had wanted Jessie more than any other woman before in his life. He had longed to bury himself in her, to be a part of her forever, for them to be together always. He had wanted to lose himself in her arms and forget the past. He had brought on the end of the world and he had let his brother down when he had chosen Ruby over him. It was his fault that Lucifer had been freed from his cage and that he was walking among them now. The guilt of his sins wore him down and he didn't know what to do or say to make it better. Because there was nothing he could do to make it go away. Nothing that could make Dean trust him again. Sam feared that he might have lost his brother for good this time. And it was ironic to think that it hadn't been hell nor heaven that had brought on the rift between them but Sam's own actions. Those were the thoughts that went through his mind every day all day for the past weeks. But for one brief moment in time, just minutes ago, when he had been with Jessie, he had been able to stop thinking about it all. The only thing that he had felt and tasted and thought had been her. Jessie touching him, kissing him, making him feel like she needed him to survive and he had felt she same way about her. "A lie", Sam said with a deep sadness in his voice. "Just a lie."
As Jessie crossed the street to go back to her garage she kept thinking about what had just happened to her. She was still embarrassed about what she had done even if she had been under a spell and had not been able to command her own actions. She had kissed a complete stranger and if it hadn't been for Dean, God only knew what else might have happened. "How could you do that to me, Amy?" She should really kick her sister's butt for this. And then suddenly all this seemed to pale in comparison to the things she had found out earlier. The world was going to end and everyone she loved was going to die! Her heart started racing but she managed to calm herself down. Jessie wanted to blame Sam and Dean for this more than anything but somehow she couldn't. She knew that they had only been the chess pieces in the horrible game that the angels and demons had been playing. Angels. And demons. Angels and demons. It sounded more incredible every time she thought about it and it actually sounded funny too but the outcome of what they had set in motion wasn't. Suddenly her heart was going a mile a minute and she thought that this time it wasn't because of Sam or the love spell but because she could feel the fear build up inside her. Jessie locked the door of her garage even though she realized how ridiculous and useless it seemed now, got into her pick-up truck and drove home to see her family. She needed to be with them right now.
Dean was the first one to wake up the next morning. It was still dark out and when he checked his watch it said 7:45 am. He got up, went into the bathroom for his morning ritual, got dressed and went over to Jessie's garage. When he arrived he found it deserted and there was a package leaning on the front door that he picked up. He opened it and saw that it contained the radiator for his car. Dean called out Jessie's name even though he was sure that she wasn't around and then he took out his wallet and slipped six fifty dollar bills under the locked door. He went over to his Impala and started to work on the radiator. When he was done he went inside the motel room and saw that Sam was still lying in his bed even though he was awake. "Rise and shine, Sammy!" "Yeah, I'll be right up." Sam went into the bathroom, shaved and showered and was ready to leave about thirty minutes later. "Let's go." He picked up their belongings and turned to his brother. Dean stared at him with a strange look in his eyes. "Don't you wanna say goodbye to Jessie?" "What for?" Sam shrugged his shoulders apparently not caring about the things that had happened the night before. "You were pretty close there for a while last night!" Dean smirked. Sam raised his voice and snarled. "It was a spell, all right! It wasn't real." He felt a small piercing pain in his chest but it quickly vanished again. "Let's get out of here. Please!" And then Dean finally realized why his brother wanted to leave so quickly. He looked into Sam's eyes and saw the pain that he tried hard to hide from him. He must have felt something for Jessie and even though it had been a fake feeling, there had been something there. Dean wanted to talk to his brother but he changed his mind. What good would it do Sam or Jessie if he interfered? The world was coming to an end and there was no time for this. They had bigger fish to fry so to speak. Actually just one but Dean knew that although they would try their best to ice Lucifer it was a fool's errand. There was no way that they could defeat an angel. Fallen or not.
"Ok, let's go." Dean picked up the rest of their stuff, put it in the trunk of the car and went to the reception to return the key. "Let's burn some rubber, dude!" He smiled at his brother who looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Which thinking about it now Dean figured he was actually. Not that he was blaming him entirely it had been both their doing. They had both failed miserably and as a result had started Armageddon. Dean brushed his musings aside and started the engine as Sam got into the Impala. He sat quietly next to Dean and when they drove off the parking lot, he caught a glimpse of a red pick-up truck stopping in front of the garage. As Dean turned right onto the road, Sam turned his head back around and saw Jessie getting out of the truck. She moved her head in his direction and for a split second their eyes met. Strangely enough nothing happened. He felt nothing. Sam turned around to face the front of the car again. "You ok, Sammy?" Dean asked, his eyes remaining on the road ahead. "Yeah." Sam closed his eyes and leaned back into his seat.