Hello! Thanks for reading my little story! AllysonKGirl on tumblr requested a fic in which Killian gets to tell Emma "I love you" back…and I've been avoiding writing this one because I wanted it to be perfect! This story was really born out of seeing the spoiler pictures on tumblr of Emma wearing Killian's ring around her neck. I think we've pretty much confirmed its Killian's ring….for the sake of this story it is anyway. This story is mostly fluff with some feels in it. I pretty much poured out a bunch of what I was feeling, tried to stay pretty true to the story and it has speculation and spoilers based on promo pics and video's for next Sunday's episode titled "Nimue." It also is filled with things I hope/wish would happen! Please enjoy and leave me comments! *As always none of these characters are mine. Please enjoy!
He could hear her before he saw her. Her soft footsteps echo in her bedroom and he scrubs his hand across his face as he leans heavily against her door.
He can hear her fighting the demons in her head, her pleas for this to stop and for it to go away. The darkness is relentless in its pursuit of her heart and he had promised to be the one to protect it.
Their stolen quiet moments help, he knows this, and it's easier for her to fight the darkness inside of her when he is around as it was that way with him too. They spend most of their time together when they aren't off working tirelessly on various plans all of which to end the darkness that's currently consuming her whole. She is more open and more trusting with her burden as they spend their evenings lying on top of her un-made bed. She tells him of the thoughts plaguing her mind, all the lies the darkness has been telling her, the fact she no longer sleeps anymore, of the dream catchers she has been making in her spare time.
He thinks back to a different quiet moment. Back in a different land. Back in Storybrooke, cuddled up on the couch in her parents loft, finally alone together and able to share their secrets, hopes, dreams, stories from their past. She opens up about Neal and more of their time spent together, about sneaking into motel rooms to grab a shower and about Tallahassee and the yellow dream catcher they found one day and what it meant.
These dream catchers are different though. They are invoked with strange magic and able to pull and copy memories. His Swan has been using them to make copies of her memories; she told him a few nights ago as she lay wrapped up in his arms with her face pressed into the space between his chest and chin.
"Swan, why would you need to copy your own memories?" He asked, smoothing back her hair.
Emma turned then to look at Killian's face and gave him a sad smile, "because I don't want to ever forget. If things don't go as planned…" she trailed off and took a steadying breath "Every day it gets harder and harder. I need the good memories, all of my favorite memories to help me fight."
Killian nodded against her head as he pulled her closer to him.
A wailing sound quickly brought him back to the present as he straightened up and could hear Emma crying in her room. Without bothering to knock he slipped inside, heart breaking as he took in the scene before him. Emma slumped over the desk she used to work at, sobs wracking her body and causing her to shake. Seeing his strong and tough warrior princess so broken was further breaking his heart and in a few long strides he was kneeling at her side with her hands grasping his hook as his hand trailed down her back attempting to soothe her.
They stayed silent a while, Emma's forehead dropping to his shoulder as he continued to rub her back, turning his head to press a kiss against her own. Emma's hands held onto his hook for dear life and he could see her knuckles whiten as she clenched hard.
With a deep shuddering sigh Emma said "it's getting worse. Rumplestilkstin is getting worse. Everywhere I turn, he's there. I can't get him out. Even my own memories are failing me. If we don't do something soon I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to last. I can feel the darkness eating away my soul."
"Merlin said he has a way?"
Emma held him tighter, "Something about Excalibur. I don't know." She then proceeded to tell him about seeing Merlin as a child at the movies and his warning to her then and now. "I don't know what it means. He said Excalibur will reunite with the stone and I'll have an opportunity to pull it and he warned me not to or else I'll harm all the ones I love the most."
Killian stood then, pulling her up with him. "That man may talk in riddles Swan, but I assure you, we will find a way to rid you of this darkness love."
Emma's eyes softened and became less panicked, "I know," she whispered. Her arms wrapped around his neck as they held each other close. Their bodies swayed to a rhythm all their own, relishing in the closeness between them. They seem to grow closer each day, almost becoming desperate to hold one another, reassure one another, and love one another. They hadn't spoke of Emma's last words before taking on the darkness, neither of them wanting to bring it up but it was always in the back of Killian's mind. Replaying over and over again as he tried to sleep, becoming a battle cry on this war against the darkness. Sounding like a drum in war, echoing truth in its words and beating along with the beats of his heart…I love you….I love you….I love you.
They pull away slightly and look into one another's eyes. Her vibrant green eyes are slowly starting to dull and he takes in the tall tale signs of exhaustion on her face. The dark one may not need to rest, but Emma Swan certainly does.
"Killian, can we go riding again? Perhaps go back to that meadow. I think I need to get away and that worked so well last time."
"Of course Swan. I'll find us a horse and we'll be on our way." He couldn't deny her this wish and there was no denying the fact that going away together alone pressed together on horseback also wasn't his own wish. He couldn't stand around anymore and wait for Merlin and the others to figure something out. He had to do something, be useful somehow, and he had vowed to protect her heart.
The ride to the meadow was just as invigorating as it was before. Emma's arms wrapped firmly around his waist as he urged the horse to go faster. Soon Emma's laughter filled the air around them and he thinks his face is going to break from smiling so big. When they arrived at their spot he lifted his arm to help her jump down and then tied up the horse. Emma was still smiling, little puffs of laughter escaping her throat and her chest was heaving in excitement. She threw her arms around his neck again and pulled his head down to meet hers in a kiss.
When they broke away she pressed her forehead against his, both of them letting their breath mingle together between them, her fingers toying with his hair at the back of his neck and he wishes they could stay like this forever, prays that when the darkness is removed that this is the life they could have.
He leads her through the meadow to a tree with adequate amount of shade from the hot sun. He spreads his coat down on the ground for them and leans his back against the trunk of the tree, spreading his knees apart to accommodate Emma. She leans with her back against his chest and his arms wrapped around her waist. Her fingers toy with the rings on his hand, spinning them around his fingers as he noses her cheek, her neck and throat, pressing soft kisses to her collarbone and then up against her jaw.
Emma lets out a soft contented hum as he nuzzles into her neck again, his stubble rubbing against her delicate skin there.
They stay silent again for a while, each one soaking up the time they get to spend together, these quiet moments where nothing else matters but them. Emma let the peace and the calm and Rumplestilkstin-freeness wash over her and fill her up until she felt more like herself and less like a monster ready to burst at any second. Despite the million things that run through her mind on a daily basis there is one thought that she has shoved down and avoided talking about since it first happened that came to the surface and now presented to be the perfect opportunity to talk about it.
Emma turned in Killian's arms, leaning her head back against his shoulder so she could see his face and press a soft kiss to his lips. "Killian…there is something that I've been meaning to talk to you about."
"Yes love" he whispered against her lips before he claimed them once more.
"Do you remember what I told you before I took on the darkness?"
That made Killian stop. Emma could feel his muscles clench as his body went rigid for a few seconds before relaxing again, "Yes."
"I meant it."
"I know, Swan."
Emma looked back up at his face, hoping they could reach other as easily as they usually do. "It's just…we haven't talked about it."
Killian brushed back a stray piece of hair from Emma's face, "I know, Emma. And we don't have to. Not until you are ready to, love."
"I think I am ready now." Emma took his hand and placed it over her heart, both of them had flashbacks to before, when the words were said out of desperation, as a good-bye. "I know that when I said it that it probably wasn't at the best time." They both let out a soft chuckle and then pressed their heads together again for a few seconds before Emma leaned back to look at Killian again. "I almost told you that night on my bed in the loft. And I think you already knew that. I wanted to tell you so badly. I had lost you and in those few hours in that alternate universe without you I knew that I couldn't go on without you, life would never be the same without you and I wouldn't be truly living if I didn't have you at my side. And I vowed to myself that if there was a way to fix this, to bring you back that I would tell you. But then I got scared. I instantly regretted not telling you. I couldn't leave you without letting you know." By this time tears were starting to pool in Emma's eyes and Killian pulled her back to him and held her against his chest.
"I know. I knew then, Swan. I've known for a while, love. Just as I'm sure you have known of my feelings for you for a while as well." Emma nodded against his chest and he wrapped his arms tighter around her and kissed her head.
"I love you Killian" Emma's voice was soft, muffled against his chest but he heard it just the same, his heart leaping in his chest at the words, "no matter what happens, please always know that I love you."
Killian pushed her back softly to look into her eyes and caught one of her tears on his thumb. "Emma Swan, I have loved you since the moment I first laid eyes on you. I will love you until to the very end. You made me a better man. I was bitter and a villain who only cared about his revenge and you showed me that I could care about so much more, that there could be so much more to my life. You gave me a home and a family, things I never thought I could have again. You picked up the pieces of my heart and helped me stitch them together, love. You showed me the man I once was, an honorable man, and you brought me back to him. And for that I'll always be indebted to you. My love, you are my light, my life and my world. I love you with every fiber of my being, Emma."
Emma let the tears fall freely now, not concerned with reigning her emotions in as she clutched onto his waistcoat, pulling them close together again, sliding her arms back around his neck and back as they cried. Killian whispered soothing words into her ear, praises and words of adoration and love, their hands pushing on the others back to hold them together, keeping them impossibly close. Emma wanted to bury herself in his skin.
When she had cried all the tears she could cry, she pulled his head to hers and kissed him with as much passion as she could muster, whispering 'I love you' against his lips each time they broke for air, each time becoming easier to say, the need to keep saying it growing, making her desperate for him and for making her love known. Perhaps she was making up for lost time in saying it, regardless Killian said it back just as desperately as their kisses grew more and more passionate and as their hearts finally mended.
Hours had passed and they knew that they didn't have much longer to steal away before the rest of the group would search for them and they couldn't be away long in case Merlin had finally gotten a way to eradicate the darkness once and for all. Killian pulled Emma to her feet and grabbed her hand and kissed it. "I love you. There's something I want to give you." Emma raised her eyebrow in confusion and watched as Killian removed the ring that was on his thumb. "This was Liam's. It was the most precious thing I owned. It's been in my family for longer than I can ever know. I know that it's not a diamond, but I want you to have it." He pressed the ring into Emma's palm and closed her fingers around it.
"Killian I…I can't take this. It's too precious…"
"Swan, you are the most precious thing that I have now. Please love, take it and keep it as a reminder."
Emma smiled and opened her palm up to look at the ring. "It's beautiful, Killian. Thank you."
Killian wrapped his arms around her for one last kiss before going to untie the horse and help her on. When they arrived back at Granny's both had huge smiles on their faces, Emma found a chain to keep the ring on and wore it proudly around her neck, smiling each time the sunlight caught on it and flashed in her eye. It was time to meet with everyone to discuss their plans, before heading into the diner they shared one last kiss and clasped hands. They will defeat this darkness together and spend the rest of their lives loving each other. They paused on the top step before Emma went to turn the door handle; she looked up at Killian with a bright smile, her green eyes glowing again, "thank you for today Killian. This was probably one of the best days of my life. I love you."
Killian squeezed her hand, "and I love you Swan."
The pair walked into the diner ready to face everyone and refreshed and ready to fight.